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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
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Ruchel
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 Wed, Oct 08 2008, 10:37 am
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A few days ago my husband was ordering his stuff and found back some family jewelry from the 1920's, not something I would ever wear - but technically, now, it's mine. Does it count? LOL
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GAMZu
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Wed, Oct 08 2008, 10:51 am
Just wondering what one does with jewelry she supposedly receives at least 4 times a year. 
I have one necklace from the yichud room, one necklace from my mother, wedding and engagement rings, and a ring my MIL gave at the birth of my 1st child.
Then I have a bunch or earrings, one pair from DH at engagement, 2 pairs that my mother gave me and that's about it. Although I stopped wearing earrings because my holes began getting infected from them more often. And necklaces I only wear on shabbos, YT or a simcha. And rings I never wear because they're uncomfortable for me.
If my husband got me jewelry, I'd send him back out of the house straight to the store to return it.
I got some robes a few weeks ago, though. I desperately needed a shabbos robe for my 9-months-size, and I can still wear it after, so that's that.
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ClaRivka
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Wed, Oct 08 2008, 11:00 am
I dunno, I dont think I cud ever not be happy with more jewelry! I'll always accept it!
Back in July my husband bought me a beautiful ring and said that I wasnt allowed to wear it until he said I cud...Erev RH he gave it to me and I havent worm it yet, I dont feel I did anything to deserve it so I wont wear it til then.
I did get a new outfit (just a skirt and a top). I dont think its crazy, I needed clothes cuz I had none!
O and I bought a bandana and im planning on buying a headband or two from DEWYT but thats from my own money.
I found a robe I was in love with...but my husband said maybe for chanuka....
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greenfire
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Wed, Oct 08 2008, 11:06 am
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anybody who wishes to buy me clothing and jewelry - I'll take it ...
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Motek
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Fri, Oct 10 2008, 9:45 am
| mimivan wrote: | | I cringe every time this thread is bumped on Erev Yom Tov. Why do women need a reminder when their husbands are supposed to remember? And why remind those women who never receive anything from their husbands?..I don't see the point of this thread, I'm sorry.... |
do you also cringe every time you see a thread about:
1) celebrating birthdays - where to eat out, what to buy, how to celebrate?
2) celebrating anniversaries - where to eat out, what to buy, how to celebrate?
3) elaborate celebrations of Jewish occasions - ex. fancy cakes, centerpieces etc.?
Why do I see quite a few complaints about this topic, which is brought in halacha, while the other occasions are written about over and over again and nobody says boo?
Is it the yetzer hara who wants to put a damper on things? 
As for your saying husbands need a reminder, yes, the halacha refers to the husband providing the clothing and jewelry, but nowadays, most women leave the house and shop (unlike the times of the Rambam) and purchase their own clothes (and often their own jewelry).
So the point of the thread is to remind women to go out and buy something for Yom Tov for themselves, not just for the kids and for meals. If they don't have the money to do so, they can try the proactive approach and state, "Husband, I'm going to be looking for something for myself for Yom Tov so I need $." They shouldn't be waiting for their husbands to remember and moping when they don't.
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Ruchel
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Fri, Oct 10 2008, 9:52 am
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I wonder, sorry if it was already asked, what about women who don't like jewelry, don't use it, and don't appreciate clothes as a gift and will only wear casual ones, etc? what should they get? (just curious if there is something on that, as there is a non small % of the frum women who seem like that)...
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Fabulous
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Fri, Oct 10 2008, 9:54 am
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Maybe a new snood or band for a fall or shoes or slippers, it doesn't have to be jewelry or clothes.
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Raisin
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Fri, Oct 10 2008, 9:58 am
| Ruchel wrote: | | I wonder, sorry if it was already asked, what about women who don't like jewelry, don't use it, and don't appreciate clothes as a gift and will only wear casual ones, etc? what should they get? (just curious if there is something on that, as there is a non small % of the frum women who seem like that)... |
everyone wears clothes. And most people (frum ones) wear something more then a denim skirt and tshirt for shabbos and yt.
I usually get something twice a year - pesach time, and tishrei time. I'd love if clothes would last forever, but alas, size and quality does not permit that.
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Chocoholic
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Fri, Oct 10 2008, 10:02 am
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How can people say they have ENOUGH Jewelry or Clothes??
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Ruchel
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Fri, Oct 10 2008, 10:05 am
| Quote: | | most people (frum ones) wear something more then a denim skirt and tshirt for shabbos and yt. |
of course. But, on the people I'm talking of, it stays VERY simple, not at all for the looks. That's what I'm asking. About this part of the frum population that doesn't care about looks.
Me, I'm unfortunately like Chocoholic lol
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NativeMom
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Fri, Oct 10 2008, 10:07 am
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I dont have the time or patience to shop for clothes or anything else. I worry more about the food and making sure I have enough.
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Motek
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Fri, Oct 10 2008, 11:11 am
| Ruchel wrote: | | on the people I'm talking of, it stays VERY simple, not at all for the looks. |
They can still buy something new for Yom Tov.
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Motek
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Sun, Nov 02 2008, 8:24 pm
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If a man doesn't have money for both, the din is that he should buy his wife a dress for Yom Tov, since it's his chiyuv (obligation) according to the kesuba and he should borrow the lulav and esrog from someone - he doesn't need to have his own. He certainly shouldn't buy a mehudar one if that won't allow him to buy his wife a dress for Yom Tov. This was said by Rabbi Malinowitz (Ramat Beit Shemesh) in a shiur and he said he can be quoted on it.
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mimivan
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Sun, Nov 02 2008, 8:38 pm
| Motek wrote: | | mimivan wrote: | | I cringe every time this thread is bumped on Erev Yom Tov. Why do women need a reminder when their husbands are supposed to remember? And why remind those women who never receive anything from their husbands?..I don't see the point of this thread, I'm sorry.... |
do you also cringe every time you see a thread about:
1) celebrating birthdays - where to eat out, what to buy, how to celebrate?
2) celebrating anniversaries - where to eat out, what to buy, how to celebrate?
3) elaborate celebrations of Jewish occasions - ex. fancy cakes, centerpieces etc.?
Why do I see quite a few complaints about this topic, which is brought in halacha, while the other occasions are written about over and over again and nobody says boo?
Is it the yetzer hara who wants to put a damper on things?
As for your saying husbands need a reminder, yes, the halacha refers to the husband providing the clothing and jewelry, but nowadays, most women leave the house and shop (unlike the times of the Rambam) and purchase their own clothes (and often their own jewelry).
So the point of the thread is to remind women to go out and buy something for Yom Tov for themselves, not just for the kids and for meals. If they don't have the money to do so, they can try the proactive approach and state, "Husband, I'm going to be looking for something for myself for Yom Tov so I need $." They shouldn't be waiting for their husbands to remember and moping when they don't. |
No Motek, I do not cringe at birthday threads etc...
but I learned that the husband should do it...not the wife...
so this kind of thread should be on imafather.com
we should not have to remember to "nudge" our husbands...it is their business to remember or not to remember. IMHO
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GAMZu
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Sun, Nov 02 2008, 10:13 pm
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Those threads aren't asking the rest of us if we have celebrated or eaten out or what we got for our anniversaries/birthdays. They're personal threads for ideas.
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Motek
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Sun, Nov 02 2008, 11:03 pm
| mimivan wrote: | | we should not have to remember to "nudge" our husbands...it is their business to remember or not to remember. IMHO |
nudging is not recommended but I see no point in not bringing it up, particularly when (as women pointed out) they are usually the ones who buy their clothing, not their husbands. If you want/need the money from your husband, it's a matter of saying, "I'm going shopping for an outfit for Yom Tov, so I need ..." p.s. Rabbi Malinowitz was speaking to women at the time.
gamzu - although that is true, the same point about being sensitive can be made, about all those celebrations and the women who don't have the means to make them or don't have husbands who celebrate
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zaq
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Thu, Nov 06 2008, 1:12 pm
anyone wants to give me jewelry, I'll accept it cheerfully and with appropriately effusive thanks...then put it in my nice genuine simulated leather, flock-lined Mele jewel case with all the other adornments that I take out and look at once a year while continuing to wear the one favorite pair of earrings, wedding ring and watch (may it live forever, now on its second battery and third leather band) that I wear all the time.
When ds gets married I'm giving it all to dil and any granddaughters they may have.
NOT EVERYONE LOVES JEWELRY!!!!!!!!!!!
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chocolate moose
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Fri, Sep 11 2009, 5:32 pm
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Anyone ready yet for Tishrei 5770 ?
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nicole81
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Fri, Sep 11 2009, 6:27 pm
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er, I got a house. no money for anything else right now:)
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