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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
I can never feel unwell



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amother
OP  


 

Post Today at 2:42 am
Dc is petrified whenever I don't feel well.

I know as a single mum dc feels very close and doesn't really have anyone else besides me. I understand that. And I feel bad. B"h I'm well usually but I had a medical incident recently, I feel so pressured that I can't even have a rest to recover if dc is around.

What's the best way to deal with it?
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Elfrida




 
 
    
 

Post Today at 3:26 am
You don't say how old your child is, which makes a big difference, but I would reccomend a two pronged approach.

First of all education. Explain to your child what was the issue, what the prognosis is, and what recovery looks like. That you need to take a rest in the afternoons, and that will probably last about three weeks. If they can help facilitate you taking a rest, that will make the recovery process easier. The more (age appropriate) detail you can give, the more secure they will feel that they know what is going on, and that recovery is progressing as expected.

Secondly, back up plans. If anything happens to you without warning, what is the backup plan. Short term? Overnight? Long term? Is the father in the picture, and what role might he play? If your child knows there are plans in place, and exactly what will happen to him and where he should go if anything happens to you, that will help him feel calmer and more secure about it.
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amother
  OP


 

Post Today at 4:44 am
Thanks for your clear response.

Dc is young teenager. Very sensitive and attached to me. And picks up nuances very easily.

I will try and explain. I like the idea of preemptying a back up plan if ch"v needed. Which really makes sense for any single parent to do if dc's father isn't in the picture. .....should have done that a long time ago.
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amother
Kiwi


 

Post Today at 4:50 am
Sounds like he can use therapy for anxiety.
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amother
Birch


 

Post Today at 5:00 am
I don’t know if you are in the area to connect with this organization, but their mission is to assist single parent families. It’s called My Extended Family and they offer some wonderful services and programs. Perhaps they can provide some support and activities for your teen. Refuah shleimah!

https://www.myef.org/
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amother
NeonPurple


 

Post Today at 8:18 am
amother OP wrote:
Dc is petrified whenever I don't feel well.

I know as a single mum dc feels very close and doesn't really have anyone else besides me. I understand that. And I feel bad. B"h I'm well usually but I had a medical incident recently, I feel so pressured that I can't even have a rest to recover if dc is around.

What's the best way to deal with it?


Anxiety thrives in secret. Talk about it. Talk about how you feel and your prognosis. Talk about who would take care of DC if you're sick. Teach some calming strategies she can use when she's anxious.

You need to take care of yourself and you need to rest to recover. That's not what should give.
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