 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
↑
Chayalle
↓
|
 Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:32 am
| amother Gardenia wrote: | | The stories I keep hearing about how girls behave in my daughter's 10th grade class horrify me. A girl made a comment to the teacher about her choice of fashion and asked ithe teacher if she got it from shein. Another girl started coloring a picture on the board while the rabbi was teaching and totally ignored his request to stop, and then made a funny face and requested another classmate to take. picture of her. Another girl came to class put her head down and covered herself with her jacket and told the teacher not to disturb her because she is going to take a nap. Every day I hear another crazy disrespectful story. This is supposed to be a solid Brooklyn school that is actually hard to get in to. |
If this is taking place, something is wrong at the top. The school should be taking action against these students. These girls need to be disciplined. The school needs to have clear rules they stand for, so the students can't get away with it. I'm not in chinuch but schools have measures such as cut classes (you are marked cut if you are sleeping or sent out for chutzpah) resulting in detentions, grade reductions, suspensions, meeting with parents etc.....
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 5
|
amother
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:33 am
| amother Lavender wrote: | I think I teach in this school!
You know how the train stations all have signs saying that abuse to their staff is unacceptable and they'll take action etc, I wish my school would stand up for their teachers and crack down on the disrespect. It's horrific.
And yes, I'm leaving. |
Yep. And notices in doctors offices about abuse of receptionists... You'll get taken off the patient list if you're abusive to the staff.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:35 am
| amother OP wrote: | | Ginger, wonder if their in the same school... |
I'm going to guess I went to this school. My 10th grade experience was the same. I never felt the school did much to help students fit in. There was an elitist attitude that the students fed into.
I'm fine though as an adult.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:39 am
| amother Phlox wrote: | I'm going to guess I went to this school. My 10th grade experience was the same. I never felt the school did much to help students fit in. There was an elitist attitude that the students fed into.
I'm fine though as an adult. |
Why would this school be worse in this regard? What are other schools doing differently to help girls find friends etc.? Perhaps this school could learn and implement some changes....
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:39 am
|
They bring in speakers to talk about friendships ect... but the girls just laugh it off. The machaneches of the grade tries to implement studying partners but it's the biggest joke among the girls... so now with that info, are we speaking about the same school?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
giftedmom
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:46 am
|
Haven’t read the whole thread but this is classic high school. Was very much my experience.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:47 am
| amother OP wrote: | | They bring in speakers to talk about friendships ect... but the girls just laugh it off. The machaneches of the grade tries to implement studying partners but it's the biggest joke among the girls... so now with that info, are we speaking about the same school? |
Don't know, I'm not living in Monsey currently. But if it's the school I went to, they didn't have any of this back then....
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
↑
Chayalle
↓
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:49 am
| amother OP wrote: | | They bring in speakers to talk about friendships ect... but the girls just laugh it off. The machaneches of the grade tries to implement studying partners but it's the biggest joke among the girls... so now with that info, are we speaking about the same school? |
As the mother of a teen, this sounds classic. Using a different example, my daughter's school brings in speakers about technology. The girls all come away sooo inspired, the speaker was amazing....but they still want their technology, they aren't giving it up.
Study partners? If you're lucky enough to get someone you want to be study partners with, great. If not, you do what you need to for school and then go back to your friends (or not, if you don't have). And it would be socially off not to laugh it off. Or they might feel soooo bad for someone without friends but it goes nowhere....
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:52 am
| amother Ginger wrote: | | Why would this school be worse in this regard? What are other schools doing differently to help girls find friends etc.? Perhaps this school could learn and implement some changes.... |
Stop being so elitist. If it's the school I went to, you had to be a somebody to be celebrated. In my daughter's school (not in Monsey) they try to play to girl's strengths. You don't have to be a top student to be head of something. They choose girls who are weaker students to head certain committees where they may have a chance to show their talents. They don't exclusively celebrate academics.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Smokey
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:54 am
| Chayalle wrote: | As the mother of a teen, this sounds classic. Using a different example, my daughter's school brings in speakers about technology. The girls all come away sooo inspired, the speaker was amazing....but they still want their technology, they aren't giving it up.
Study partners? If you're lucky enough to get someone you want to be study partners with, great. If not, you do what you need to for school and then go back to your friends (or not, if you don't have). And it would be socially off not to laugh it off. Or they might feel soooo bad for someone without friends but it goes nowhere.... |
About technology… props to my dds school. She did not look at a screen the entire summer from June til September. This is a kid who was used to ordering online with me, watching Frum films, and playing on the Nintendo switch. She kept her screen off on 2 7+ hour flights, and won’t even order from a store that has self-order screens. Now since September she will watch the occasional dvd as she didn’t sign for that but she won’t look at or touch a smartphone, text, any device connected to the internet etc. she seems to have lost the need to. I am honestly amazed.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
↑
Chayalle
↓
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:56 am
| amother Smokey wrote: | | About technology… props to my dds school. She did not look at a screen the entire summer from June til September. This is a kid who was used to ordering online with me, watching Frum films, and playing on the Nintendo switch. She kept her screen off on 2 7+ hour flights, and won’t even order from a store that has self-order screens. Now since September she will watch the occasional dvd as she didn’t sign for that but she won’t look at or touch a smartphone, text, any device connected to the internet etc. she seems to have lost the need to. I am honestly amazed. |
That is truly amazing. I wonder what the secret to their success is.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:58 am
| Chayalle wrote: | As the mother of a teen, this sounds classic. Using a different example, my daughter's school brings in speakers about technology. The girls all come away sooo inspired, the speaker was amazing....but they still want their technology, they aren't giving it up.
Study partners? If you're lucky enough to get someone you want to be study partners with, great. If not, you do what you need to for school and then go back to your friends (or not, if you don't have). And it would be socially off not to laugh it off. Or they might feel soooo bad for someone without friends but it goes nowhere.... |
Also study partners is not realistic.
The most effective things that I've seems is when schools try to pair together girls with similar strengths to head a committee or work together.
It builds a relationship in a non-nebbachdik way as long as it's common within the school
But it involves teachers learning what the girls are good at so they can assign Esti from group X and Rivky with no friends to write a song together, and Miri from group X and Leah from group C to make a poster.
Some schools do this, it works. Some schools it doesn't.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
↑
Chayalle
↓
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 11:04 am
| amother Orchid wrote: | Also study partners is not realistic.
The most effective things that I've seems is when schools try to pair together girls with similar strengths to head a committee or work together.
It builds a relationship in a non-nebbachdik way as long as it's common within the school
But it involves teachers learning what the girls are good at so they can assign Esti from group X and Rivky with no friends to write a song together, and Miri from group X and Leah from group C to make a poster.
Some schools do this, it works. Some schools it doesn't. |
My DD was Class President in 8th grade, with two other girls whom she had absolutely nothing to do with before that. She got together with them that year all the time to work on activities for the class, etc...they were a great team, but they never became friends. They have not kept up.
You can't force friendships. Even if they have similar strengths in some common areas (like being creative, good at coming up with interesting, fun ideas, designing a great bulletin board, etc....)
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Yolk
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 11:08 am
|
You can't force friendships, but putting people in proximity on a regular basis cam give them the opportunity to discover friendships that they wouldn't have otherwise sought out based on first impressions. I have had that experience many times, both as a child and as an adult in the workplace.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
amother
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 11:08 am
| amother OP wrote: | | They bring in speakers to talk about friendships ect... but the girls just laugh it off. The machaneches of the grade tries to implement studying partners but it's the biggest joke among the girls... so now with that info, are we speaking about the same school? |
They didnt do that in my day but this grades mechaneches don't actually help. The grade supper that year was my worst.
But I didnt find it elitist. I was a nobody and there were definitely teachers who noticed me. I got good jobs in 12th grade. I was an average student
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
↑
Chayalle
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 11:12 am
|
About mechaneches, my DD's school has a mechaneches program where every single girl meets the mechaneches more than once a year....my girls have always eye-rolled this process, but I tell them that BH they are lucky to feel that way, but it's a great program and great that is there, lets a girl know there's someone to talk to if she needs. I didn't go to a high school that had this at all, and I had a close friend who had a very difficult family situation. It would have benefited her so much and she would have taken advantage of it.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Canary
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 11:26 am
| Chayalle wrote: | | About mechaneches, my DD's school has a mechaneches program where every single girl meets the mechaneches more than once a year....my girls have always eye-rolled this process, but I tell them that BH they are lucky to feel that way, but it's a great program and great that is there, lets a girl know there's someone to talk to if she needs. I didn't go to a high school that had this at all, and I had a close friend who had a very difficult family situation. It would have benefited her so much and she would have taken advantage of it. |
Except that when my family situation was very rough the menachaneches skipped talking to me . Both 10th and 11th
Later heard through the grapevine that she felt unqualified to talk to teens with real issues.
So I’m not sure your freind would have gotten the support.
| |
|
| Back to top |
3
0
|
|
amother
Oak
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 11:43 am
| amother Phlox wrote: | | Stop being so elitist. If it's the school I went to, you had to be a somebody to be celebrated. In my daughter's school (not in Monsey) they try to play to girl's strengths. You don't have to be a top student to be head of something. They choose girls who are weaker students to head certain committees where they may have a chance to show their talents. They don't exclusively celebrate academics. |
This. From my experience with my daughter who is struggling socially only in school I would say there's a culture in the school that encourages this snobbiness amongst the girls. Especially for a girl who is slightly out of the box. In my daughter's case, she's smart and does well academically. She does very well in other social settings including camp. She is extremely talented. She has a healthy self esteem. She looks good and dresses well (although she doesn't need the latest brand or follow the latest trend.) There's technically no reason she should hate school that much and feel like she doesn't fit in. Maybe it was the dynamics in the class but also an attitude of elitism coming from the school that caused her many years of anguish.
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
1
|
amother
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 12:17 pm
|
Yes, they brought in speakers. I'm not sure about the study partners part. It was probably not taken seriously. Or, maybe, my daughter studied with someone new on the phone for a few minutes....
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
Simple1
|
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 12:22 pm
|
My girls’ school pairs (committee) heads together to encourage new friendships and help the quieter girls gain respect. It really can work wonders if done smartly.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
