I don't get the high any more....

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur

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miriamnechama ↓

Thu, Oct 09 2008, 11:58 pm

I used to get the high and emotional thing Rh And YK especially neila...

now I just don't get it anymore.... maybe cus I'm too busy with kids.

I just don't feel the holines of the days like I used to...

bubs ↓

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:04 am

At home, I agree with you. However, in shul it depends very much who the baal tefilah is. Some are very motivating and others are just saying it. Try to find a baal tefilah that puts the emotion in. We have different baal tefilos in shul and some are more inspiring than others.

↑ miriamnechama ↓

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:10 am

I know I noticed. on regular shabbos I daven in another shul where I absolutely love the davening, but yk I can't waste energy walking up and down stairs to get there, so I make do with closer. I didn'tfeel it was so special...

I think since I was at teh other shul for some time that I see diff's it has a less effect... also it's not clear the halls are huge. so I can't follow and feel very uncomfy reading the english when everyone is shockling and understanding the tefilas... I kinda feel women stare at me when I do that...

last year I ouldn't follow the leining this year dh didit and was better

Rivky

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:15 am

I stayed home this yr with my baby. it was the first time in years that I didnt daven in shul and it sure makes a difference. shul davening is more uplifting than home

↑ bubs ↓

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:18 am

I have my Art Scroll Machzor which I find great. While the chazon is repeating I check out the english or even some of the commentary at the bottom. Some of it gives me a lot of insight and inspirations. I also use the viduy at the back which is wonderful although it makes it hard to keep up. I find more women doing the same. Anyhow, you gotto do what works for you and others are probably faking it. Most women and men don't really know what they're saying so if you make the effort, you're a step ahead. I actually asked my sons and dh about it and they said the aramaic tefilos they don't follow well and even some of the hebrew they don't really understand but who has time to figure it out- the baal tefilah goes so quickly. I just do my thing and feel good about it at the end.

↑ miriamnechama ↓

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:29 am

hmm good point canuk, I also feel some women fake. but here most areisraelis, you think they really understand??

octopus

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:33 am

ironically, this year, since I was at home, I felt that I could really "let loose" with my emotions. When I'm in shul, It's hard for me to daven, I keep on feeling other people are watching me. At home, I could cry as much as I want to without anyone looking at me. Unless I count ds (who is two). He kept on asking me if I had a boo-boo.

Lady Godiva ↓

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:43 am

octopus wrote:

I feel that way too. I think that when I pray at home, I am praying with my whole heart without feeling uncomfortable or self-concious. I am able to let my emotions fly, much more than when I am in public.

↑ bubs ↓

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:44 am

They may know Hebrew but not necessarily understand the meaning of the tefilos otherwise, most Israelis would be really knowledgeable in tnach but they still have to learn the meanings behind the words or different meanings in tnach than in spoken hebrew.

↑ Lady Godiva ↓

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:49 am

miriamnechama wrote:

hmm good point canuk, I also feel some women fake. but here most areisraelis, you think they really understand??

I am not Israeli but I speak Hebrew fluently. I understand the prayers and they DO make me cry. I can't not cry when I am begging God to forgive me for all the sins I do, to keep me and my family healthy, to end starvation in the world, to send peace, to give children to infertile women, to heal the sick... It's impossible for me not to cry. I am not a fake person at all and I am sure most aren't either...

↑ bubs

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 1:05 am

I didn't mean to say that Israeli's are fakers- more the Americans who just say the tefilos by rote and don't really understand but are too caught up to check out the translation. I think Israeli's get the jist but the words may have different meanings in the biblical sense and they are not always atuned to that.

↑ miriamnechama

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 1:06 am

could be...

↑ Lady Godiva

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 1:07 am

canuk wrote:

I think Israeli's get the jist but the words may have different meanings in the biblical sense and they are not always atuned to that.

Most of the prayers (at least in my siddur) are the spoken Hebrew and not Biblical Hebrew, which is easy for a Hebrew speaking person to understand anyways.

Aidelmom

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 2:17 am

Yeah being at home for the first time It didn't feel like yom kippur. The whole atmosphere was lost. I guess you could say that was my avodah.

Tamiri

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 3:42 am

miriamnechama wrote:

MN, based on my experience this year, it comes back. Once you can get into it, and not have to worry about taking care of the kids and feeding them all the time and making sure they are happy. Then, you can daven without interruptions and think think think about what the day means.
First time for me in I-don't-know-how-long.
I think Hila mentioned something along these lines as well.
Don't despair, for now you are doing what you need to do: being a mother.

mimivan

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 3:55 am

Miriam Nechama...
I've had a total blank to plotzing feeling the past few years...but this year b'h it clicked...
Here's what I think helped
1. I got the books 60 days by Shimon Jacobson...preparing for the chagim from RH Elul with daily meditations
2. Luck...(or with hashem's help) 2 little ones slept for 3 hours. I daven all the regular davening in Hebrew but this time, I was able to read the Torah readings and the repetition in English while the kids were in bed. I didn't get to do this on RH but just rushed through the davening, as usual while the kids were awake
3, Niggunim...when I can't get into spiritual things by thinking, I was singing niggunim, even when I was doing mundane things with the kids.
4. I took kali tzom this year and didn't have a splitting headache...

My last two YKs I was with in laws and it was stressful. I had to make sure my kids were behaving like tzaddikim and not touching anything, while I was trying to fast and daven. And then I was criticized for davening "too much"...so I think being at home made all the difference.

And sometimes I think we "earn" a really meaningful Y.K after struggling through ones that didn't have so much of a tangible effect.

BTW...I don't know what is meant by "faking" it...I wasn't shukling so hard I was getting dizzy or crying so people could see. It was in the inside. (not that there is anything wrong with crying....on the contrary) And I think the chag affects us spiritually even when we can't get that "high" or "feel" it.

Remember what chassidus says about Aaron's sons...it isn't always good to go for the "spiritual high" a true oveid Hashem does the mitzvah out of love of Hashem...not for the "high" which, when it happens, is just a fringe benefit.

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