Where did I go wrong- none of my 11yr boys want to shower

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Does your 10-13 year old shower like a normal person

yes - every day

36%

[ 41 ]

once a week

11%

[ 13 ]

twice a week

14%

[ 16 ]

once every two weeks

[ 2 ]

three times a week

35%

[ 40 ]

Total Votes : 112

Happydance

Mon, Nov 18 2024, 8:29 am

Why is it so important to you that he shower daily? Isn’t your relationship with him more important than him smelling fresh?

Can’t he just deal with the natural consequences?

I also like the idea of something to listen to in the shower. He may not be mature enough to handle quiet time alone well and so avoids it.

amother

White

Mon, Nov 18 2024, 2:32 pm

Same, and some of my girls were like that too.

Kids that age are just unmotivated in general. They don't want to study, they don't want to clean themselves, they don't want to do anything. Even if it's something fun they drag their feet. BH it seems to pass with age. By 13-14 they're usually showering, washing clothes, doing homework, and generally acting like humans again.

I didn't answer the poll because they showered 2-3 times a week but if I hadn't made them it would have been once a week at best.

amother

Nasturtium

Mon, Nov 18 2024, 2:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

She is 13 and she'll shower 3 times a day if I let her. She spends tons of time caring for herself, her hair, her clothing. I am so proud!

Hopefully you’re being a bit sarcastic here because to me this is not the ideal at all. You do sound a bit overzealous about the whole thing. Every other day is perfectly adequate in the winter.

amother

Dahlia

Mon, Nov 18 2024, 3:24 pm

When my son was 11 he showered 1x a week.
He didn’t smell. He wore clean clothing every day and was very thin but I couldn’t get him to shower once he outgrew the bathtub (nightly baths).
There was very little I could do because he was exceptionally difficult and defiant.
Now he is 19 and showers every single day.
Sometimes I’ll hear him shower in the morning and then I’ll hear the shower running later again at night.
So… it’s a stage hopefully.
My 12 yr old son loves to shower. If I tell him that it’s just too late and he has to go to sleep he tells me that he’s afraid that he smells. He doesn’t.
It’s a personality thing.
Pick your battles.
I’d say 2x a week is okay when the weather is cooler.

metz

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:19 pm

amother Cerulean wrote:

Sooo normal! Bh bh my almost -2 year old has finally started realizing he needs to shower on his own and makes it happen.. for the last few years I had to. Physically bring him to the bathroom and hand him his towel. Somtimes I had to turn it on for him.

I still bath my 5yr old

amother

Carnation

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 10:57 am

Omg! My son came home from camp with an infection when he was 11. Found out he only showered for Shabbos! And the entire year after, was a struggle to get him to shower!
He’s almost 13 now. Got bad acne. Dermatologist told him to shower nightly. I’m not sure if she also hypnotized him or something, but he’s been showering daily since! A miracle!

Now if we can get him to remember to put on deodorant daily…

amother

Bone

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 11:18 am

Mom of 3 boys here - 15,13,11
have similar struggle.

a few yrs ago I was really struggling to get my 13 yr old to shower.
One night after telling him to get into the shower, he was in the bathroom for a long time but I didn't hear water running.
I called through the door to get in the shower and he respond, "I am!"
So I asked him why I don't hear the water running and he responded "I'm reading in the shower, I brought a folding chair. You never said I have to wash myself, just to go into the shower"
mr smart aleck was very smug about his brainstorm

HonesttoGod

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 11:42 am

giftedmom wrote:

Can’t get him in, can’t get him out. Lol

Literally. I gave up forcing every day and now allow every other day.
But I won’t lie sometimes they skip that and it pains me but I also know they’re teenage boys and eventually they’ll grow out of it.

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