The kids suffer | Imamother

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 12:07 pm

amother Cornsilk wrote:

Why is this about teachers rights? First you say at certain stages in life, people shouldn't teach.
Then you say if they were paid more, it wouldn't happen.
Which makes no sense. However much you pay me, I still throw up in first trimester.

Giving individual attention is not a basis of teaching in a classroom. If you want individual attention, you pay an individual teacher.
THinking about every child is a basic and I can guarantee you every teacher thinks about each child. They may not understand them, they may not be able to act because of the group setting but to think? they all do.

By individual attention I don't mean tutoring. I mean thinking of the child.
And no, I don't think every teacher thinks of the child. And not always do they have enough experience to know what to do even if they do think of them.

If you're vomiting excessively in first trimester, and it affects your performance as a teacher, please don't do it. It's just not fair.

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 12:15 pm

I'm the one who posted about being early pregnant while teaching. Listen, I get it. But I'm 33 years old..I'm not a kid, this isn't my first pregnancy and I'm still making sure that we accomplish tangible things when I'm teaching. I'm Def less patient and I'm not as active in the classroom at the moment but everyday my students can leave and say we did x today. It's not my job to raise your child..it's my job to educate them and build them up to feel confident in the world!

amother

Seafoam ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 12:16 pm

I am a teacher. I love my students and really connect with them. B"H I get a lot of positive feedback from both parents and students. Having my own kids and my own struggles has made me grow, broadened my approach and made me a better teacher.

That said, I have very hard pregnancies. I do not have easy babies. My husband does not have a flexible job. If any of my kids are sick I need to take off too.

While I am in the classroom, I am there all the way giving the best I can. But if I'm pregnant/ post partum I will be behind in my grading, and not reaching out in my own time / own initiative to parents, and I will be relying on previous years prep to get me through for the most part. I still connect and have just as great a time with my students when I am in school. The girls are learning well, growing and thriving. Every time I take off it def is a mess. Not denying that. The schools have a very hard time finding good subs and of course this affects the learning too.

So with this mix... Should I just quit until all my kids are older and independent enough not to need me?
But then I'll iy"h hopefully be taking off to make chassunahs. And then to iy"h help my kids when they give birth. So maybe I should wait until I am a great grandmother? Who knows how my health will be then? And if I'll even be able to still relate to the new generation then?!

Maybe being a teacher is only for super women who have super easy pregnancies, and still take off the yrs they give birth, and have a spouse who is always available to be home if the kids are sick?!

amother

↑ Cornsilk ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 12:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

If I hired you as a proofreader, and you were unwell for months, and missed a lot of mistakes, would I just ignore that?
Why are the kids less important? This is my point exactly.

If you hired a secretary on contract and they started off well and had a rocky place in the middle, you would hopefully be understanding of that.
If you expect perfection from everyone in your life, that's a hard call.

amother

↑ Seafoam

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 12:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

You sound like great teachers. I think you would be aware enough to realize if your circumstances were negatively affecting the students, and act accordingly. It's not for me to say how, because like I said, I don't have the answers.
But it should be a topic for discussion and not be taken lightly when children are affected.

I will be the first to admit that kids are affected. I am not the same teacher when I am pregnant, post partum, or under the weather. But I will still do everything in my power to be loving, attentive and show chayus for my subjects.
I don't think the parents or students want me to quit. But yes, they do lose out. The same way my kids do at those times, it's impossible for me to be the same mommy those times as well.

I try to think Hashem put me here knowing my circumstances, and knowing this is best for me and my students at this time. Some years Hashem wants them to get the 'ultra me' experience, and other years it's just not. I need to do my best in my limited human, sometimes challenging circumstances.

I think most important is not to do damage. If a teacher can't keep herself regulated and calm, and is loosing it or snapping at kids then it's time to stop no matter how talented she is. But if it's a matter of being less energetic, less on top of her game, but still caring, connecting, effectively teaching -even if it's somewhat survival mode, that's life... That's my opinion.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 12:36 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

Yes. Not to do damage. Thank you

amother

↑ Sapphire ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 12:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

While I am not a teacher I work with kids in a different capacity. I happen to be pregnant now and I am 40 not 20 (just for the record our childbearing years is not limited to in our 20s),I will say that my performance in my job is affected by my pregnancy and it does affect the kids. I dont have much choice I cant afford to not work. Obviously I dont believe its majorly detrimental to the kids but im not on my best. Thats life thats how Hashem created it. We dont always get the best of our mommies teachers etc.

amother

↑ Diamond

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 1:36 pm

amother Sapphire wrote:

Thank you for your honesty. There was nothing so validating as when I went to PTA and began discussing struggling child issues (after teacher just sang praises that didn't match child) and teacher said she's been having a difficult personal year and really hasn't gotten to know the girls she appreciates me bringing it up and she's going to look into all said issues.
I really appreciated her honesty and vulnerability.
And yes she looked out for said child after that...
Koodos to all you teachers. Yes some times girls don't get the best of you but I believe your trying your best

amother

Blushpink

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 2:40 pm

amother Mustard wrote:

My children's biggest damage comes from "the old guard". The teachers who can't be fired because the school feels obligated to support them, I wish there was a way schools can pension with kavod

This. My kids have amazing teachers of all ages. I just wish their was a nice way of letting teachers go when they stop working out. Sometimes. It'd a teacher that taught for many years but every year she seems to head a little more in the wrong direction and over the years you see a change and sometimes it's relatives of the school. That the school feels obligated to put her in the staff. I love most of the teachers in the bar mitzvah-marrying off stage. Thr ones that stayed this long usually are amazing teachers. Its like this is not their oldest anymore they let things go. Teach well. Their not young and energetic but many of them are good sports and everyone gains My daughter school rarely advertise for teachers. Most teachers are through word of mouth. The young teachers don't have much life experience. Some they get are so solid. They are caring and they came out of school with great hashkofos that align with our value they give it over well. The subject they teach they prepare before hand, they get a bit of help. Without life experience they don't know every challenge a student is facing or household but they are compassionate and want to understand and they become a better teacher the second year. Then their is the second type of young teacher hired she has all her relatives in chinuch. She works in a camp in the summer in a prestige job too. She's so-so their. Her went to the school growing up and now her parent have prestige chinuch jobs. She has good haskofos but is not giving it over properly. She doesn't understand her student,is too strict therefore has no control. So she threatened the kids and everyday Somone else is punished. The principal constantly get complaints from parents, so she supervises the classroom. The teacher gets threatened if she continues this way she will not be taken back-but she's back the next year. Slightly better control because she took a course. This is her second year teaching she's better prepared with her notes but she's only knowable on what she prepared- in between she gets married comes back a third year she had a baby. My kids suffered her newest class still does't like her why wasn't she fired.

↑ teachkids ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 2:49 pm

So when I unexpectedly get pregnant/ have a rough pregnancy after an easy one you’d rather I quit and your child have a sub for a few months till they find someone new?

Also, if you don’t think the teacher knows your kid well enough, pick up the phone and call her! My very anxious child presents as totally fine in school. Teacher would never know about her anxiety and how to tell her about changes if I didn’t tell her.

But yes, I’m aware kids xyz can’t read even though the class has moved on. Unfortunately I can’t hold the whole class back for them. Really the fault here is on administration who expects us to do the insane with a smile without any support.

amother

Bubblegum ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 3:10 pm

No teacher is required to quit out of a sense of duty to her class. It's the administration's responsibility to provide the support the kids need. In the United States, pregnancy is a disability. It is the administration's responsibility, legally, to provide the accommodations the teacher would need to do her job. They have the choice of giving her paid leave, or giving an assistant, or whatever other support they deem reasonable. Or of deciding on their own that the level of instruction is adequate and letting that be.

Op, in certain communities they value the quality of the teacher above all else. The teachers all have degrees and experience , the classes have assistants and a low teacher child ratio. Of course they have tuition to match. You choose to send there or you choose to send to the school you're sending now.

Yeshivish and Chassidish schools aren't like that because it's completely unaffordable on a communal level in a community where large families are the norm.