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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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Bnei Berak 10
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 Tue, Nov 19 2024, 10:42 am
| amother Cappuccino wrote: | Yes it's totally the norm nowadays.
(Unless the family has enough $ for a decent a size diamond regardless. ) |
I think every kallah would like to have a choice regardless of family finances.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 10:53 am
It is 100% genavat daat to not tell her.
It says to the Kallah that you are stingy, deceptive, and you think she is stupid. Maybe even worthless.
That being said, saying to her either based on my budget, I can only afford a lab diamond, or give her a choice of a small mined or a large lab, or even say I feel with the diamonds out there the most sense are you OK with that? is 100% fine.
My SIL bought my daughter’s ring, not his mother. Prior to their getting engaged, when my daughter was telling him what she wanted, she said, please get me a lab, it is so silly to spend money ona mined diamond when they look the same. I would much rather that we save the difference for XYZ.
We all talk about the resale value. I wanted to know how much you really think you’re getting for your mined diamond.
You are getting pennies on the dollar, And it would be much better off, taking the price difference right now, and investing it even with the volatile market.
My ring was appraised for 16K, 30 years ago, I don’t know what DH actually spent. Currently, if you Google my diamond, it’s about 30K to purchase . If I tried to sell it, how much do you think the jeweler would pay me? I’m willing to bet I’d be super lucky to get 15.
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amother
Cornsilk
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 12:31 pm
My in laws bought me a small real diamond. I tried to sell my ring to use it towards another ring and it was worth very little. I still have the ring sitting.
I would have rathered a lab grown diamond that was a nicer size.
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amother
DarkMagenta
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 12:52 pm
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I gave my son and DIL a budget and they chose whatever they wanted themselves. I think this is the best way to do it.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 12:54 pm
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Realistically, who here has sold a diamond? And how much did you get for it (compared to what you paid)? I don't think resale value is that important for wedding jewelry.
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amother
Geranium
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 2:34 pm
| amother Daylily wrote: | It is 100% genavat daat to not tell her.
It says to the Kallah that you are stingy, deceptive, and you think she is stupid. Maybe even worthless.
That being said, saying to her either based on my budget, I can only afford a lab diamond, or give her a choice of a small mined or a large lab, or even say I feel with the diamonds out there the most sense are you OK with that? is 100% fine.
My SIL bought my daughter’s ring, not his mother. Prior to their getting engaged, when my daughter was telling him what she wanted, she said, please get me a lab, it is so silly to spend money ona mined diamond when they look the same. I would much rather that we save the difference for XYZ.
We all talk about the resale value. I wanted to know how much you really think you’re getting for your mined diamond.
You are getting pennies on the dollar, And it would be much better off, taking the price difference right now, and investing it even with the volatile market.
My ring was appraised for 16K, 30 years ago, I don’t know what DH actually spent. Currently, if you Google my diamond, it’s about 30K to purchase . If I tried to sell it, how much do you think the jeweler would pay me? I’m willing to bet I’d be super lucky to get 15. |
And I think it says something about a kallah if she finds out and is angry at her in laws for the rest of their relationship. Jewelry is not worth ruining a relationship over. (This is obviously assuming there isn’t already existing issues/ dysfunction.)
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singleagain
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 2:42 pm
| amother Geranium wrote: | | And I think it says something about a kallah if she finds out and is angry at her in laws for the rest of their relationship. Jewelry is not worth ruining a relationship over. (This is obviously assuming there isn’t already existing issues/ dysfunction.) |
It's rarely the fact that it's the jewelry. It's the deception behind it did. So what else did they deceive me about etc.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 2:45 pm
| amother Geranium wrote: | | And I think it says something about a kallah if she finds out and is angry at her in laws for the rest of their relationship. Jewelry is not worth ruining a relationship over. (This is obviously assuming there isn’t already existing issues/ dysfunction.) |
It not about the jewelry. It is about intentionally deceiving her. It is absolutely WRONG to try to pull a fast one on your Kallah and if you do, that is 100% on you. Don’t try to say she is superficial or ruining a relationship over jewelry. That is gaslighting . It’s about honesty, integrity, and respect.
I said I have no problem with giving a labs and saying so.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 3:20 pm
We gave a lab diamond and didn't tell the kallah. But we did tell our son what we gave and that he should tell her if he feels it necessary. I don't know what he did.
But our kallah is very frugal herself. Every time we gave her a choice of jewelry she took the smallest, least expensive looking piece. So I don't think she'd be upset and I also don't think it's geneivas daas. We never said it was a mined diamond.
We paid around 1,000 for just over a carat.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 3:31 pm
| amother DarkMagenta wrote: | | I gave my son and DIL a budget and they chose whatever they wanted themselves. I think this is the best way to do it. |
I think that's the best, they can do research together and figure it out themselves/together ( however you say it) what they want to spend on
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 3:35 pm
| amother Powderblue wrote: | | Realistically, who here has sold a diamond? And how much did you get for it (compared to what you paid)? I don't think resale value is that important for wedding jewelry. |
My diamond was purchased for 10,000 and I sold it for approximately 6500.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 3:45 pm
| amother Saddlebrown wrote: | | My diamond was purchased for 10,000 and I sold it for approximately 6500. |
How many years ago? Just curios
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imaima
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 4:24 pm
| amother Geranium wrote: | | And I think it says something about a kallah if she finds out and is angry at her in laws for the rest of their relationship. Jewelry is not worth ruining a relationship over. (This is obviously assuming there isn’t already existing issues/ dysfunction.) |
It says something about the in laws in the first place
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imaima
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 4:25 pm
| amother Orchid wrote: | We gave a lab diamond and didn't tell the kallah. But we did tell our son what we gave and that he should tell her if he feels it necessary. I don't know what he did.
But our kallah is very frugal herself. Every time we gave her a choice of jewelry she took the smallest, least expensive looking piece. So I don't think she'd be upset and I also don't think it's geneivas daas. We never said it was a mined diamond.
We paid around 1,000 for just over a carat. |
It is still a diamond chemically. Unlike the cz
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amother
Ecru
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 4:34 pm
How is it deceiving the kallah to give her a lab diamond and not tell her? She's expecting a diamond ring, you gave her a diamond ring. The fact that African children didn't have to mine it should not diminish its value to her.
(I do see it as problematic to not tell her about a CZ, not that I can understand why it's not standard to give CZs in general.)
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amother
Goldenrod
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 4:57 pm
I bought myself a cz diamond ring + eternity band, sterling silver, for total $140.
My diamond fell out of my setting on my engagement ring. A new comparable lab grown diamond was 3k.
I figured that even if I buy a new cz every 3 years or so (when it dulls), I still come out ahead. And I get to keep updating my setting 🤷♀️. And I’m not paranoid about them.
I’ve gotten so many compliments on my eternity band 😜.
The best is my cz pendant necklace. Looks like it’s a 5k necklace. I’ve already had quite a few people ask me if they can show it to their husbands, to explain this is the style they want. That’s usually when I tell them where they can go to get one for themselves as well, for $120! They are usually shocked. And later tell me they got their next piece there as well because of me 😉.
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amother
Magenta
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 5:06 pm
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I have a 3 ct natural engagement ring and I genuinely don’t think I’d care if my in laws told me it was lab however I would appreciate if they told me beforehand OR gave me the option to choose
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 7:27 pm
| amother Gray wrote: | yes that sounds too cheap.
I got a high quality lab grown diamond 2 carat with 50 pointer stones on each side and it was 5k I think... |
I don't know what to tell you.
I'm looking at my finger right now. Gorgeous half eternity. 2.5 carat. $750.
Oh and my tennis bracelet. 6 carat. $1600
Oh and my diamond hoops. 2.5 carat. $550
My diamond solitaire necklace with a thicker gold chain. $500
Are they the best quality? Probably not. But they are so sparkly and are full of fire.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 8:23 pm
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I have a full eternity band lab grown 33 pointers for $1950
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amother
Topaz
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Tue, Nov 19 2024, 9:14 pm
| amother Lotus wrote: | I don't know what to tell you.
I'm looking at my finger right now. Gorgeous half eternity. 2.5 carat. $750.
Oh and my tennis bracelet. 6 carat. $1600
Oh and my diamond hoops. 2.5 carat. $550
My diamond solitaire necklace with a thicker gold chain. $500
Are they the best quality? Probably not. But they are so sparkly and are full of fire. |
Links!!!!
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