So, how’s tuition going?

amother

Tanzanite

Tue, Nov 19 2024, 8:19 am

amother Sapphire wrote:

The reality is that you absolutely do choose what type of people you go out with. You clearly want a certain type of family so that's what your child dates.

This. Of course you choose the family.

I have a brother in shidduchin and my mom always asks if the family is frugal and low maintenance. If you present yourself as frugal/low maintenance then the middle class boys won't be interested in your dd and then you won't have issues with machatunim later on. If you present yourself as frugal then only frugal boys will date your dd and hopefully there won't be too many issues with future machatanim

If you CHOOSE to be middle class and present yourself that way, then middle class boys will be interested in your dd and then you will have to spend on all those ridiculous things on the list above that lower class people don't spend on

amother

↑ Lily

Tue, Nov 19 2024, 8:55 am

amother Amber wrote:

Here’s the recent kallah side we made. Just going to list most of the major expenses.

Hall plus mandatory coat room fee plus tips.
Kallahs side. Takana 14k

Lechaim (house) plus smallish vort with cheap music and pictures 4k

Flew home one seminary girl one bochur form Israel 2k total

Two shaitels. 2.5k plus sale shaitel 1.7k 4.2k total

Chassan watch 1200
Becher. 800
Shas. 1100
Chosson center talleisim kittel standards leather Tallis bags, etc 1050

Shabbos sheva brachos 65 people (only immediate relatives both sides) catered cheapest caterer plus hall. 5.5k

Kallah classes 1.5k

Invitations 1800
Postage. 950
Bosch and Braun food processor 700

Hair and makeup for vort 550

Suits hats and shoes for 5 boys and father 3.5k

Shadchanus 1800

Standard Furniture package dinette bedroom set, couch 9.5k

Hair and makeup plus sheitel do up for wedding 4 girls plus mother and kallah 2k

Mother of bride gown plus gemachs gowns for girls plus alterations 1.5 k

Linen, bedding and housewares vacuum pump pot cookware etc. 2.1k

Dance classes 300
Vort and sheva brachos outfits 2k (Vort dress was clearance sale)

Lots more line items. These are just the majors and are already over 50k. They were researched and most done with the Lakewood middle of the road standard, nothing higher, with the most reasonable cheapest option nothing fancy at all other than about 2k extra for the furniture beyond the most basic barebones package with was not very nice.

50-60k for the girls for someone who is not Frugal but not extravagant is different than saying that each side including the boys pays 75k- for a total wedding cost of $150 to 180,000.

If you look at your numbers you'll see that your furniture is well below $20,000 total and your gifts are well below $20,000!!