Switching from boys to girls

amother

OP ↓

Today at 8:29 am

After reading all these threads I’m starting to worry about having a girl after boys. I’m not a supermom, not particularly emotional, have a hard time parenting, and boys were ok. Boys are in yeshiva all day, and I need so much time for myself to function. They come home late after a long day at night, I’m happy to see them, they eat supper. Shmoozing is hard for me! I’m an introvert Sad

Can anyone promote the good parts of having girls for someone like me? Now they are small but when they are bigger…

amother

Forestgreen

Today at 8:47 am

I have several boys and then several girls.

I'm so glad I had boys first. Yes, I'm an introvert and need my space, and my girls always want me. But at the same time, the boys are out of the house most of the time and it's nice to feel needed. I also think my house would be crazy with teenage girls and little (wild!) boys, whereas my crazy time with boys is over now and my girls don't make as much noise and mess or require as much hands-on protection from each other than boys.

Girls are also cute in a way that boys are not. Mine understand social skills in a way that most of my boys did not, and they take care of each other and play with each other in a way that my boys never ever did. I get such nachas watching their relationship (including their relationship with the brother above the bunch of girls, because he's around a bit more).

They don't outgrow touch as early as my boys did, so we get snuggles more often. I teach them to listen when I need space, but I'm surprised how much I actually enjoy cuddling with them on the couch.

They remind me of the things I loved when I was a kid and teen. I see parts of myself in them in a way that I didn't in my boys.

Each of these things existed in my boys to a smaller extent, but just more in my girls.

Even better, I see the soft side of my boys come out when they play with the girls. My boys get to see that there's another side to life, which I think will be important to them in the long run, iy'H.

amother

Hydrangea

Today at 9:25 am

Try not to overthink these things. I had girls first, then boys. It's fine so far, although my oldest is only 11.

I haven't had the experience of girls overwhelming me with schmoozing. First, they have school and other activities. They free up after 5pm most days and sometimes not until after 6pm, and still have their homework to do. They also want to hang out with their friends during the week. Usually that is before dinner, but sometimes at night after dinner. They need to shower, eat, pick up their room sometimes. I allow up to 50 minutes of screen time, if all other responsibilities are done. They like to read, so they read a lot. Either DH or I learn with them most days, so that takes time also. I'm sure they'll only get busier as they get older.

On Shabbos, girls like to spend a lot of time with their friends. Sometimes at our house, sometimes other homes. Motzei Shabbos they do sleepovers or late-nights. Sunday, they also want to hang with their friends during the day.

I live in a walkable community, so it may be harder in places where girls have to be driven everywhere.

amother

DarkYellow

Today at 10:23 am

Our daughter adds so much love and calmness to the boys club. She is sweet and endearing. Giving and sharing. We leave together to shop just the two of us. She has me attending plays and skits and laughing and singing with her.
When the boys are out it's wonderful hosting her friends they are sweet and giddy. Complimentary to each other.
We shop for jewelry and cook together.
I love my boys but this girl will always hold a special place in my heart!