Got Your New Clothing/Jewelry Yet?

↑ justanothermother

Mon, Apr 14 2008, 11:44 am

amother wrote:

And here in L.A. its 90 degrees and the kids are going swimming Very Happy

Uh oh, that'll really make people jealous!

Ugh. I am so glad to finally have a day where we can turn off the air conditioning and open the windows. It is an even 70 here.

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Fri, Apr 25 2008, 5:12 pm

mimivan wrote:

As Chocolate Moose pointed out, poverty isn't such an issue, because the Rambam said a man should give his wife a present within their means. If they are poor, he could give her a simple scarf for instance..

But I'm more concerned about what amother seemed to be saying is that her dh just doesn't do it. Period. If it is a shalom bayis issue, it can be incredibly painful...

At the same time, being aware of this, I still think threads like this should have a right to exist, but we should be aware that some are bothered by them... and try not to be overly ostentatious.

Needs some thought, not right now, though when most ppl are busy making yomtov.

Pizza

Fri, Jun 06 2008, 12:09 am

Just weighing in on this thread now...

I told dh years ago that I didnt want jewelry for each chag - how many bracelets / rings/ etc do I need?
And, I also prefer to buy my own clothes when I have the time, and find something suitable and on sale.
And, when our budget started getting tight (years ago!) I asked him not to get me flowers for YT.
Painted myself into a corner? Not really - more like, acted responsibly, as a partner in marriage.

OTOH, DH does most of the shopping, toivelling things in the mikva, and general errands. He buys me a candy bar whenever he goes overseas, or sees that I need a pick-me-up. There is no lack of expression of love, just not in the 'Got Your New Clothing/Jewelry Yet?' way.

Am I the only one?

↑ Crayon210

Fri, Jun 06 2008, 12:12 am

The mitzvah is not about an expression of love between husband and wife; it's a specific halacha about simchas yom tov.

Isramom8

Fri, Jun 06 2008, 1:07 am

I didn't buy/get anything specifically for Yom Tov, but I have three weddings coming up soon, and I freshened up a dressy black outfit with a flowy vest type piece that was on sale for 99 shekel (about $30), down from 299 shekel. Then I bought an gorgeous matching evening bag for 140 shekel (about $45) and eyeliner in a matching shade for 34 shekel (about $11).

No one will notice the exact shade of my eyeliner, but it made me happy to match it to the clothes.

Total cost for chassuna outfit for at least one busy season: 273 shekel (about $90). My math may be a slightly off...

I will wear my gently used outfits on Yom Tov, and feel good about my wedding outfit purchases.

Boruch Hashem I could do this. It's so true that many women cannot.

Maybe we should donate ten percent of what we spend on Yom Tov clothes and jewelry, to tzedaka...

↑ amother

Fri, Jun 06 2008, 2:13 am

Crayon210 wrote:

The mitzvah is not about an expression of love between husband and wife; it's a specific halacha about simchas yom tov.

tell that to my dh, and he might just buy me something...except that it won't make HIM feel sameach... Rolling Eyes

↑ freidasima

Fri, Jun 06 2008, 7:40 am

Isramom, that's what we always do. First zedaka and then if there is leftover I get material and make the girls and myself something for chag. The boys always get new white shirts as does DH.

↑ Motek ↓

Fri, Jun 06 2008, 11:23 am

Isramom8 wrote:

Maybe we should donate ten percent of what we spend on Yom Tov clothes and jewelry, to tzedaka...

Or maybe we should donate 10% of our grocery bill to tzedaka. I don't get it. Confused

Tzedaka obligations are tzedaka obligations, nothing to do with your other expenditures.

Clarissa

Fri, Jun 06 2008, 11:26 am

How come I marry a frum guy and this is one thing he didn't learn at home? I dropped a hint at Pesach. Now, here we are at Shavuot and I'm busy printing out recipes and I doubt I'll get a Yom Tov gift. Apparently his family didn't do this, and he'd never heard of it.

Come on, you Source-a-holics. Give me a source with a handy quote.

eta: Forget that last request. Motek did it as the opening post. I think I'll call him at the office to see how his day is going. Wink

↑ flowerpower ↓

Fri, Jun 06 2008, 12:29 pm

I have my brand new diamond necklace waiting in the top drawer in my dresser and the new suit from Diccis waiting in the closet. Now all I need is the big flower arrangment to arrive on sunday and I'll be all set.

Ok, that may not be happening this year but still keeping my hopes up. I did get a nice weekday watch though recently so can't complain.

↑ mimivan ↓

Tue, Oct 07 2008, 1:34 pm

I cringe every time this thread is bumped on Erev Yom Tov. Why do women need a reminder when their husbands are supposed to remember? And why remind those women who never receive anything from their husbands?..I don't see the point of this thread, I'm sorry....

(Please forgive me OP, if I offended you by my comments about the thread...but I feel it has to be said)

↑ Raisin ↓

Tue, Oct 07 2008, 1:56 pm

mimivan wrote:

I buy my own clothes, not my husband.

↑ octopus ↓

Tue, Oct 07 2008, 2:01 pm

honestly, even if I would get new jewlery every season ( shock

), I wouldn't go posting it to the world online. So... I know the halacha about feeling simcha on yom tov. With that aside, women are "supposed" to get jewlery for their b-days, anniversaries, after every birth, and every yom tov?

Ha! I should tell dh to stop investing our money. Invest it in me! The stock market is doing so poorly and the value of the dollar is dropping.....but diamonds are forever!

↑ Motek ↓

Tue, Oct 07 2008, 2:08 pm

octopus wrote:

With that aside, women are "supposed" to get jewlery for their b-days, anniversaries, after every birth, and every yom tov?

no
just for Yom Tov