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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

OP ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 3:45 pm

I’m 99% sure my child has inattentive adhd. It is CRAZY hard to deal with the inattentive behavior. We say everything 100 times and only yelling gets through. Everything takes so so long and we lose patience and unfortunately yell. My husband refuses to medicate. What should I do

amother

Green

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 3:49 pm

You can tell your husband that whatever side effects medication has, your child will be a thousand times more damaged by this amount of yelling and failure and disappointment he causes you.

amother

Bluebell

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 3:52 pm

Can you start with a hearing test, neuropsych maybe…. How is he in school?

siddur

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 3:55 pm

How old is your child?

amother

Lightpink ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 3:58 pm

Take parenting classes for children with adhd. It really helped me a lot.

amother

Nectarine

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:00 pm

amother Lightpink wrote:

Take parenting classes for children with adhd. It really helped me a lot.

Any specific example of who does this? NY or Lakewood area?

amother

IndianRed ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:02 pm

Diet? Supplements? Hidden thyroid disorder?

Mouth breather? Allergies? Sleep apnea? Mold? Hidden infections? Vitamin deficiencies?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:05 pm

Age is seven. Everything is ok in school. Dr said they won’t recommend anything if school is ok so no further testing. So I have to figure out how to deal with it on my own, no meds

amother

Daphne

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:07 pm

What is he doing when he doesn't hear you? Is he reading all day?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:07 pm

amother IndianRed wrote:

Diet? Supplements? Hidden thyroid disorder?

Mouth breather? Allergies? Sleep apnea? Mold? Hidden infections? Vitamin deficiencies?

Diet is a child’s diet, doesn’t like mature food. But most seven year olds love pizza more than protein so I think that’s ok.
Everything else seems ok

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:09 pm

amother Daphne wrote:

What is he doing when he doesn't hear you? Is he reading all day?

Anything…spacing out in lalaland, reading

amother

Snowflake ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

Medication is sometimes the answer, but there are other options to explore first. I don't know your child, so it's hard to know if medication is the answer or not. I have one child on medication and it's not like, here's a pill, problem solved. Medications have side effects too. There are tools to learn on how to deal with such children. Mom needs self care also. Definitely can tell you that spouse wasn't either on board for my son to be put onto meds and it was so tough. I tried everything under the sun and thought I was going to explode. At a certain time the school got involved that he must be taken to a Dr and even then it took a long time to convince to get to a Dr. and get meds.

Bh we're past the tweaking meds stage and it was a real lifesaver. I really have no advice what to do when hub just doesn't see the issue... Maybe he should deal with the child a few days instead of you and then see how hard it is... Don't have advice, just hugs!!

amother

↑ Snowflake

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

Age is seven. Everything is ok in school. Dr said they won’t recommend anything if school is ok so no further testing. So I have to figure out how to deal with it on my own, no meds

Oh, didn't see this before. If problem is just at home and Dr won't prescribe anything, then you probably need ideas other than medication....

amother

↑ Lightpink ↓

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:14 pm

amother Nectarine wrote:

Any specific example of who does this? NY or Lakewood area?

I am not in that area sorry.

amother

↑ IndianRed

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Diet is a child’s diet, doesn’t like mature food. But most seven year olds love pizza more than protein so I think that’s ok.
Everything else seems ok

It's normal that he loves pizza more than chicken but it may also be affecting him more than it affects other 7yo's. Diet has a huge effect on the nervous system. The gut is in constant contact with the nervous system via the vagus nerve + most neurotransmitters are produced in the gut.

amother

↑ Lightpink

Tue, Nov 12 2024, 4:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Age is seven. Everything is ok in school. Dr said they won’t recommend anything if school is ok so no further testing. So I have to figure out how to deal with it on my own, no meds

If everything is fine at school a Dr most likely won't give meds so it's time to figure out your parenting a bit more so that it will be effective. No calling 100 times.

amother

Forsythia

Wed, Nov 13 2024, 6:59 am

Try to be easy on it. I know its incredibly frustrating when they are hyperfocused and they don't hear you.

Ideas;

Do not speak until you have their full attention, eye contact.

Whispering their name breaks them out of the trance faster than yelling.

Please don't medicate for this, its really just a few tips you can get through and it works out your patience muscle.

giftedmom

Wed, Nov 13 2024, 7:02 am

Things that are more effective than yelling:
Get close to him, raise his chin, make eye contact, and say it slowly and clearly.
Physically direct him to what needs to be done ex: supper lead him to the table, bath lead him to the bathtub, etc.
he’s still young enough so you can do that. When he’s older you’ll reassess. I don’t think this warrants meds.

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