I'm so stuck! It's an endless roller coaster!

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Nov 04 2024, 2:01 pm

My child is 3.5 already. Been toilet trained for months and months. Every few months we go through a regression, like clockwork. My child will do just fine for a while, use the toilet on their own, just needs help with wiping #2, and then we go back to having a wet accident every day for days in a row. I'm counting my blessings it's only wet, never dirty, but still, their teacher is getting frustrated and I'm already beyond frustrated.

I don't THINK it's an issue of constipation- they go #2 all the time no problem. I don't think it's lack of muscle control cuz how do they control themselves all the many days they do fine? Do I give up and put them back in pull-ups? The times I tried that they basically stopped going to the toilet at all cuz it was too convenient to just use the pull-up, and I really don't want to lose all the progress we made entirely!

But this is getting so aggravating. Having to constantly send fresh new changes of clothing to school, having to constantly do a whole change at home, they sit on our laps and leave a wet spot, their car seat gets a wet spot, it's embarrassing to be walking in a store and look down and whoops, clearly my kid had an accident in their leggings... it's just... What do I do?

amother

Moonstone

Mon, Nov 04 2024, 2:11 pm

It likely is constipation even if they go to the bathroom all the time. Many boys don’t sit long enough to empty fully. You need to make him sit a bit longer so he can empty fully. Do not go back to pull ups it just creates more problems.

OddoneOut1

Mon, Nov 04 2024, 2:54 pm

I’m in a similar situation with my son.
I find that he regresses when he gets into an”lazy” habit and isn’t conscious of needing to go. I don’t know how to prevent him from regressing, but I pull back on the trend by getting back into reminding him to go more often just because, and to always ends up helping.
He can be quite stubborn, but I’ll give incentives for thing he can have once he goes.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Nov 04 2024, 3:29 pm

I can't figure out any pattern to the regressions. It feels random.

I tried being on top of telling my child to go, it turned into a power struggle very quickly. Tried backing off and getting a watch that plays a cute tune as an objective reminder, worked for a day or two and then child just stopped being willing to wear the watch.

I'm going to try a week of miralax every day and see if it makes any difference.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Nov 04 2024, 3:32 pm

On a daily basis, sometimes my child will just stop what they're doing and run to the bathroom on their own, no problem, and other times they'll just walk past and I'll see they're wet, they didn't go on their own. I never see them doing any kind of bathroom dance, they either just go or make. If I try to catch in advance, like tell them to go cuz I feel like it's been a while since they went, then as I said above it becomes a power struggle and they insist they don't need to go.

We did make a rule that no matter what you try to go before you leave, and they did tantrum about that a few times but we really held firm on that and for the most part they learned it's not an option. But every now and then they'll do that thing where they say "I tried! Nothing came out!" And then half an hour later in the store, you guessed it, wet again.