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-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
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 Mon, Nov 04 2024, 7:11 am
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She screams and screams. No I do not scream in this house like a banshee. She just doesn't know how to speak nicely and speaks to me like I'm her counterpart and demands answers. Like she's screaming now and demanding why I am ruining her day. And she feels sad for me that I'm making other people mad. Meanwhile at school everyone loves her. She's always been like this since first grade. Can I blame COVID ðŸ˜ðŸ¤ª
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 7:17 am
Btdt. The entire family was dancing around her theatrics. What helped alot was when I stopped being afraid of her. Did not give her yelling any koach. It was a long and hard process but the difference is huge.
Last edited by amother on Mon, Nov 04 2024, 7:18 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 7:19 am
| wrote: | | Btdt. The entire family was dancing around her theatrics. What helped alot was when I stopped being afraid of her. Did not give her yelling any koach. It was a long and hard process but the difference is huge. |
Omg this yes she is so dramatic. What do you mean by not dancing around the theatrics? Do I ignore the screaming? I hate it so much. Do I answer in a whispering tone? I am so done
Messaged you thank you
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 7:20 am
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You can PM me. Please erase my username from the top as I wanted to post anonymous. Thank you
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 7:33 am
Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder?
Dd has been like this ever since the puzzle is that she's ok in school. I guess bh for that.
She's complicated intense moody overly harsh with everyone but overly sensitive too...very rigid and black and white... Her social skills aren't amazing.
She could've used a loud mouth intense mother that would match her energy
We tried this and that , she went to play therapy at one point, them refused therapy at all once teens hit...books like "the explosive child" and "the uncontrollable child" definitely shed some light
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 7:39 am
| amother Lightcoral wrote: | Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder?
Dd has been like this ever since the puzzle is that she's ok in school. I guess bh for that.
She's complicated intense moody overly harsh with everyone but overly sensitive too...very rigid and black and white... Her social skills aren't amazing.
She could've used a loud mouth intense mother that would match her energy
We tried this and that , she went to play therapy at one point, them refused therapy at all once teens hit...books like "the explosive child" and "the uncontrollable child" definitely shed some light |
Yes this sounds like her
I've been told not to match her because it will just make her mirror me.
Will look into the book
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 10:18 am
I also sent her to drama class in hope that she can fill that need there
I agree with entire family stopping to dance around her so much easier said than done.
We all continue to walk on eggshells around her and it absolutely feeds it...
When I meant w match her energy is I'm mellow and even keeled and calm and introverted by nature. She'd like ve a wild mom that can play and dance wildly with her to release all that's within her
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 10:24 am
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Do you call her out for the way she talks to you? Do you give her any consequences?
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 10:56 am
| amother Myrtle wrote: | | Do you call her out for the way she talks to you? Do you give her any consequences? |
Yes. But she doesn't care and will deflect and tantrum loudly.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 10:58 am
| amother Lightcoral wrote: | I also sent her to drama class in hope that she can fill that need there
I agree with entire family stopping to dance around her so much easier said than done.
We all continue to walk on eggshells around her and it absolutely feeds it...
When I meant w match her energy is I'm mellow and even keeled and calm and introverted by nature. She'd like ve a wild mom that can play and dance wildly with her to release all that's within her |
Yes ! She gets main parts in plays lol
Sounds like we have similar daughters would love to connect
I wish I could ignore how she acts towards us and and play and dance wildly with her but even if I act calmly inside my energy becomes so depleted and I have other kids to care for that I don't have the extra energy to match hers.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 11:06 am
| amother OP wrote: | | Yes. But she doesn't care and will deflect and tantrum loudly. |
"Sorry, you can't talk to me that way."
Broken record, don't answer her deflections.
"Sweetie, I just warned you twice not to talk to me that way. The next time it happens, you will go to your room/ lose the family treat/ not be allowed to go to your friend's house/ whatever else would work."
And follow through! Be firm and consistent, and unemotional. Don't engage, just enforce.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 4:10 pm
You have too have such a natured child to get it. They're chv lehavdil like budding personality disorders...
Anything you say or don't say do or don't do gets turned against you
Any response only escalates with your response. Validation sets off their emotional dysregulation even more...
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 4:13 pm
| amother Lightcoral wrote: | You have too have such a natured child to get it. They're chv lehavdil like budding personality disorders...
Anything you say or don't say do or don't do gets turned against you
Any response only escalates with your response. Validation sets off their emotional dysregulation even more... |
Yes to all this
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amother
Waterlily
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 4:15 pm
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Screaming is often a sign of anxiety.
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amother
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Mon, Nov 04 2024, 7:12 pm
| amother Lightcoral wrote: | You have too have such a natured child to get it. They're chv lehavdil like budding personality disorders...
Anything you say or don't say do or don't do gets turned against you
Any response only escalates with your response. Validation sets off their emotional dysregulation even more... |
I'm married to someone like that! LOL!
Same idea. Don't engage, just set boundaries.
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amother
Ultramarine
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Tue, Nov 05 2024, 1:37 pm
| amother Myrtle wrote: | I'm married to someone like that! LOL!
Same idea. Don't engage, just set boundaries. |
An adult with a personality disorder should be dealt with differently than a child with explosive anti social behavior.
Empathic listening plus major boundaries is the recipe.
Read dr. Becky kennedy’s book, good inside or listen to her podcast, for guidance for these highly conflict invoking children.
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