Choosing an entry point

gfearing ↓

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 3:00 pm

Hi. Our daughter grew up somewhat removed from Jewish/Hemishe vibrant life (not in our home of course) but in an area without any other "religious" Jews (except the rabbi's kids). She grew up being a part of our small local Chabad, but had gone to secular private school. Right before covid, we moved to LA and she began H.S. at a prestigious all girls religious school, which we all thought would be a great experience due to having felt like an outsider where we live, and lack of knowledge/friends etc... What we found were a lot of girls who were totally closed to a new student, hated being Jewish and just wanted out, surprisingly many took drugs, had relations.... This was a very big disssolution for her and nearly turned her completely off.
Now this same daughter, (who was so hurt by the experience and was home schooled) has started the local Jr. college. She wants to go to a winter or summer program and this is a big important step.
The nearby UC campus chabad rebbitzin has recommended that she tries Machon Alte (but that is in Israel so maybe not until things calm BH) Machon Chana or Machon L'yahudis. She also suggested Snorkle and Study.
Can anyone help guide me so that we can hopefully create positive experiences for her. We can start with one and continue...We support her journey as far as she wants to go.
(our son chose to go to yeshiva in Israel 2x, and has become more religious so that is not a "fear"
Thank you in advance. I really appreciate any input and non judgement.

chavalesch ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 7:58 pm

Does your daughter specifically want to be Chabad? Machon Chana and Machon L'yahadus could be good (I know many baalei teshuva who went to Machon L'yahadus), but not if she wants to explore/find her own derech -- they're very specific. They're also "political" in a way I can't be explicit about on this site, which she may or may not be interested in. If she wants something more chill, open, and short term, snorkle and study could be a great option.

↑ gfearing ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 8:31 pm

Thank you. The feeling I am getting is that snorkle and study is maybe a less intense beginning.
She grew up going to the chabad for shul/holidays, but doesn't know enough to know if that's what she wants or is meant for. Her experiences are so few. At that girls school in LA, which was MO, they were all very anti chabad...so I think she is confused and honestly as outsiders it's often the case. She went on a mayanot birthright trip this past summer, and loved learning with the rabbi...She is a very soulful girl. Politics might not sit well with her. She just feels left out and intimidated and wants to be able to go to shul and know what page and what's going on and grow as a Jew and woman and honestly just meet nice girls too, and openly ask questions and not feel silly not knowing things.

what's interesting is that my son went to a Litvish yeshiva for a short summer program in Israel and he didn't know what he was getting into and they also openly ridiculed point by point chabad, for all of the boys...it was deliberate because most of them grew up loosely chabad affiliated or had gone on campus. This was very upsetting for them.

↑ chavalesch ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 8:44 pm

Snorkle and Study is definitely not super serious learning (lots of pool time), but it can be a great introduction. Are you completely against her going to Israel? If not, she could try mayanot for a longer period of time, because while they're still chabad they're definitely less intense than the crown heights schools. She could also try Neve which is also very specific with derech, but yeshivish not chabad, but they have girls coming from lots of different background and let you stay for a short or long period of time. The Jewish Summer Fellowship (https://myjsf.org/) is a chabad program that is shorter-term but pretty intense in terms of how much they fit in, and is in Upstate NY which might be more attractive to you if you don't want her in Israel. She could also easily combine this with one of the other schools I mentioned.