My teacher HATES me!

amother

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 10:01 am

My daughter (second grade) continuously claims that her teacher hates her. I’ve been pushing it for a while thinking they need to get accustomed to each other. She cannot name specific examples, just “I feel she hates me, and only me…”.

Do I bring it up with the teacher, and bigger questions, HOW?

amother

Babypink

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 10:03 am

This is normal. I’d say she feels she’s not called on enough and not given enough attention and can she look out for her. You can also ask how she’s doing in class to get a fuller picture of the teacher’s point of view.

amother

Olive

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 11:57 am

My 5th grader says the same.

She said the teacher yells at the class a lot (lots of musar shmuzen) and specifically at her. I am not in the classroom, so I can't tell what my daughter may have done nor if she's accurate on the amount of yelling. But I do know the yelling is real as my 2nd grader overheard a 5th grader say to another that "today was a better day" for this teacher.

I am waiting for PTA to see what she says about my daughter (and my gut feelings) before speaking to the administration. But I'm not sure there is much I can say as she teaches all the 5th grade classes.

amother

Chestnut

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 12:11 pm

Absent any actual abusive behaviors, I would say it’s your child’s job as a student to learn to get along with the teacher for a school year. Maybe you could help them figure out how to do that. I certainly wouldn’t start moving them around to different classes. Teach them coping skills so that they can rely on themselves and deal with situations.

amother

Skyblue

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 12:12 pm

Why don’t you call the teacher to check in on how ur daughter is doing. You can mention that you know that kids can be extremely sensitive but this is how ur daughter feels. As a teacher I would appreciate such a phone call.
I had this as a fourth grader bec a teacher wasn’t calling on me. This is how I felt. My mother called the teacher and the teacher was happy that my mother brought it to her attention.

AlwaysGrateful ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 12:26 pm

amother Skyblue wrote:

This. Please don't wait until conference time. Call now, try to nip it in the bud rather than letting it grow. Don't say it in a judgemental way to the teacher -- let her know that you know this is coming from a second grader's perspective, but you know she'd want to know so she can try to address it.

If any child--your daughter's friend, a neighbor--thought you hated her, wouldn't you want to know so you could figure out why and proactively try to fix it?

amother

Catmint

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 12:39 pm

amother Chestnut wrote:

Strongly disagree

↑ AlwaysGrateful

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 12:51 pm

amother Catmint wrote:

Strongly disagree

Wow, I missed this. In second grade? Maybe for a kid in high school who has the teacher for less than an hour a day. Definitely not for a child who has the same teacher all day, and is young enough tat she might still hug a teddy bear when she goes to sleep...

ddmom

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 1:17 pm

Definitely call teacher now. Do not wait for PTA!
"How is my dd doing? She's really not so happy to go to school, would you please be able to give her a little bit of extra positive attention? Not sure how you run your classroom but maybe you can call on her or reward good behavior or nice work?"

amother

Ruby

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 1:27 pm

I had this with one of my kids one year. He got told off over something dumb very early in the year (minor, so not something I was told about initially) and he viewed his rebbi very negatively because of it. I ended up reaching out to the rebbi and made it clear I don't blame him for anything, I know he's just doing his job, but this is my son's perception, that he has it in for him. Bh the rebbi understood and made sure to spend a few weeks really building my son up and repairing the relationship. While ultimately he was not my son's favorite rebbi (I think it was just a personality mismatch, it happens) he was able to move on enough from the rough start that he was able to deal with not loving his rebbi that year and had a perfectly fine year. I think in cases like this where it's not a good match but nobody is really doing anything wrong, it's worth reaching out to the teacher nicely and then also working with your kid at home that hey, sometimes we get a teacher we don't like that much, but we can get through it.