I hate this supper! Rant

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amother

OP ↓

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 11:43 pm

Every day when my kids walk in they all complain about what's for supper.... and then eat it! But everyone needs to complain first. I'm losing it. I understand they come home hungry and tired and would love pizza every night and I know I should be grateful that they're not really picky but the kvetching is getting to me. I stood over an hour making supper before they walked in, have it ready on time for them to eat right away, and all I get is kvetching! K rant over

amother

Wine

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 11:45 pm

I feel for you! I started telling my kids the morning of what will be for supper when they come home, so they know what to expect. It seems to help bH

amother

Cappuccino

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 11:45 pm

Earplugs when they come in... After half an hour, serve supper!

doodlesmom

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 11:45 pm

Announce that whoever complains about supper is skipping dinner that night.

amother

Blue

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 11:47 pm

Did you try to talk to your kids about how you feel about their complaining & it's not nice to complain like that all the time?

Ihatepotatoes

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 11:47 pm

Totally get you.... I feel as if I need to have an official "Kvetch Time" for every child as they come in. Maybe each child gets three kvetches per day...

bzmommy

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 11:48 pm

It doesn’t feel good when they complain
Try asking kids to help you plan menu this way they will eat it bc they added it to menu .
You can also post what foods u make each day so kids know what to expect for supper. My kids know what I’m making each day bc they help plan with ideas and then I try to make it as they like it .
Def find they way better when they help meal plan with ideas

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 11:50 pm

amother Blue wrote:

Did you try to talk to your kids about how you feel about their complaining & it's not nice to complain like that all the time?

I did. And now we're back in school for 2 days and they're sadly right back at it. 3 kids walk in together right before supper time so it's a full on kvetch session. I think I'm going to talk to my oldest of that group and see if he dials it down maybe it'll lesson the intensity for everyone

Beingreal

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 11:51 pm

I have a menu for the week and if they don't like it, I have bread out for them to make your own sandwiches.

amother

Waterlily ↓

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 11:52 pm

Tell them in the morning so they know before they walk in. They usually don’t complain about supper in the morning because they really aren’t up to that yet.
Some mornings I tell them- I know you’re not in the mood of eating supper now but I just wanted to let everyone know that tonight we’re having schnitzel.
And there’s usually no response because they’re busy getting ready for school and don’t really care about supper right after they finished breakfast.
I think kids often complain because they’re hungry and they were probably imagining something special that they like and that’s not what is waiting for them. So they complain for a few minutes. It’s much easier if they already know what’s on the menu. They won’t be disappointed that’s it’s not what they were expecting.

amother

Salmon

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 12:10 am

amother OP wrote:

Zero tolerance. Or they will be doing this to their spouses!! If you don't teach them "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing", then who will?

Why do you accept this? What is going on in you that you cant stand up for yourself?
You work hard, plan good, nutritious, delicious meals (within your budget).
You deserve a "Thank You, Ma. You're the best!".
Kvetches can be left outside the door. Besides you may be teaching them that Kvetching is ok. Its not!
Your talk to your children should include a "Zero Kvetching", not "dial it down".
They need you more than you need them. It's a privilege to come home to a cooked supper. He who kvetches, can have PB&J's and that's all. Do it once and they will learn. (seriously, tell them no kvetching, if they do, they get a PB&J and don't reconsider. Be strong.).

If they spoke this way in school, what would the teacher do?

Its not the Torah way to allow children to speak disrespectfully to their parents. So for the Torahs sake, take back your role as the Mother.

amother

Oak

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 12:15 am

I had my kids work together to write a supper menu for the month. That way they know what's for supper and already agreed to eat it. They know I might change things if I need to/feel like it.

amother

Banana

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 12:27 am

I rotate my menu and I fill it in on my calendar/planner usually for about 6 weeks at a time. My kids flip through it and they look forward to their favorite meals, sometimes way in advance (I can't wait for next week weds, we are having lasagna for supper!) and by the same token have enough time to make peace with a less appealing dinner (ugh, tomorrow is grilled chicken) by the time they walk in the door they made peace with it and/or already planned their own alternative.

I agree with poster who said that it may just be a mismatch with their imagination. I remember as a child, coming home from school, it was dark, snowy and cold, sitting on the bus and dreaming that I will walk in the door to a hot stew. Occasionally there was, but if I came in and found, let's say, a pasta casserole, I was soooo disappointed. Funnily enough I don't think it ever occurred to me to ask my mom to make my favorite dinners more frequently.

amother

Chambray ↓

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 12:53 am

amother Salmon wrote:

Is pb&j supposed to be a threat? I've got a whole crew that think think that's a way better option then my well balanced meals...

amother

Lilac

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 2:34 am

Roll your eyes at them and say "Wow! Thank you Mommy for spending hours preparing this delicious dinner! Can I get doubles?"

A drop of humor will take the edge off it for both you and them.

amother

Steel

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 2:40 am

Ihatepotatoes wrote:

Totally get you.... I feel as if I need to have an official "Kvetch Time" for every child as they come in. Maybe each child gets three kvetches per day...

I told this to my 5 year old today. She was crying because she had to wait a few minutes until I was able to give her something. Afterwards she would not stop using a kvetchy voice. When I asked her to please talk in a happier voice she told me after she cries it's hard not to kvetch. I validated her and then said it's 4:17, you can kvetch for 3 more minutes and then were all done. We checked the time together and at 4:20 she stopped lol.

imaima

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 2:46 am

amother Lilac wrote:

Roll your eyes at them and say "Wow! Thank you Mommy for spending hours preparing this delicious dinner! Can I get doubles?"

A drop of humor will take the edge off it for both you and them.

I don’t know
I have seen grown ups sitting at someone else’s table and discussing in detail why a certain dish in front of them could have been better and that the texture is like cement.

I think it‘s simple manners and should not be tolerated or humored in any way.

amother

Amaranthus

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 7:38 am

Maybe it has nothing to do with supper if they actually eat it?

My son's rebbi told us this yr, when they come home from school, they're hungry and tired, don't ask them if they had a good day, they usually did but they can't talk about it, all you'll hear is kvetching!
Just offer a hug and a snack/yummy supper!

amother

Celeste

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 7:54 am

Why answer directly? They'll see when they get to the table.
When they ask me, I say: food.
It's not up for discussion.

amother

Nectarine

Wed, Oct 30 2024, 8:01 am

amother Chambray wrote:

Is pb&j supposed to be a threat? I've got a whole crew that think think that's a way better option then my well balanced meals...

Yup exactly! My kids would rather bread and cheese, cereal and milk, macaroni and cheese, etc a million times more than my healthy and nutritious hot suppers
I hang a menu for the week on the fridge, so they know what they’re getting. They usually help me make the menu also. So if it’s chicken and potatoes tonight, they’re ok because they know tomorrow night is baked ziti and they eat without kvetching. It’s a game changer

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