Help not OCD but son can't keep up with a minyan

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

OP ↓

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 1:37 am

What can this be? He says if he goes faster he mumbles. He finds it easier not to mumble when he davens out loud. It's not exactly a speech issue, it's not OCD, he's not repeating words etc, it's maybe some sort of processing issue but I don't know what could possibly help him. With slower minyanim it's not really an issue but he can't keep up with faster minyanim. Does anyone have any insight? Did anyone's son or dh have this and how can we help him? For reference he's in yeshiva (highschool).

greenteam

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 1:45 am

My dh suggests should talk to a posek if he should be skipping any parts, going ahead of the minyan or davening quietly without making any sound

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 1:54 am

Thank you . Yes that is the plan! Smile

Was just wondering if anyone had any insight on what could be the root issue.

And after giving it some more thought he does mumble when talking sometimes . And he's a slower reader in general.

DrMom

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 2:00 am

Maybe the minyan he davens with davens very quickly and he feels he is just speedreading his way through the davening. What's wrong with davening with a slower minyan?

Last edited by DrMom on Mon, Oct 28 2024, 2:01 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 2:01 am

DrMom wrote:

Maybe the minyan her davens with davens very quickly and he feels he is just speedreading his way through the davening. What's wrong with davening with a slower minyan?

Its not a quick minyan, it's normal paced. The slow yeshiva minyan he can keep up with but going to regular minyanim over bein hazmanim he cant keep up.

NotInNJMommy

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 2:33 am

Most non yeshiva Minyanim are way too fast to be meaningful for davenning to many.

Is there a kollel or other learners’ minyan for him to attend that won’t be a “normal” working man’s pace which tbh is usually insanely fast?

We don’t have many options of Minyanim OOT. There’s basically one in our community and during the week it’s insanely fast. My husband gets little to nothing out of it for his actual required tefillah.

amother

Waterlily

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 2:35 am

Could be a slow audio processing speed.

amother

Molasses

Mon, Oct 28 2024, 2:40 am

Feel blessed that your son is saying this. It means that he is actually saying the words when he davens. If you go to any normal paced (read: fast) minyan most people can't possibly say all the words in the time allotted. Both my husband and father talk about this. Either they come early to davening or skip some parts of pesukei dezimra to keep up.

(I don't think I have any language delays but at some shuls the davening and leining is so fast that my brain can't even process the words I hear as fast as they are being said. Instead I choose shuls with slower davening.)

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