S/o My MIL was an Adopted Yemenite baby

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 5:08 am

I'm not going to put AMA because I won't answer all questions due to her and my privacy. I will not be posting her full name. Here's some of the basics facts and I'm fine to answer anything not too intrusive

She was born in the early 60s.

Her mother was an unmarried teenager.

Her adoptive parents did not know anything sketchy was going on, they were just told there was a nebbach situation.

She had a wonderful childhood but knew she was adopted and only looked into it after both adoptive parents were niftar (they were much older)

amother

Butterscotch ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 5:10 am

amother OP wrote:

Do you mean they told the teenager the baby had died at birth? They stole her and gave her to your husbands grandparents?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 5:12 am

amother Butterscotch wrote:

Do you mean they told the teenager the baby had died at birth? They stole her and gave her to your husbands grandparents?

Yes, her birth mother was a teenager at the time. She was told the baby died and was then adopted by older parents

amother

Lightyellow

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 5:16 am

This apparently was not unheard of in those times. I don't know the history with yemenite babies, but I just saw that the Vatican used to do the same thing.
Really is terrible.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 5:22 am

amother Teal wrote:

Is your MIL my cousin? Except that she was born in the early 70s.

I wouldn't know unless through marriage. My husband doesn't really have any connection with her family (adopted or birth) beyond knowing the names of the adopted siblings

amother

↑ Teal

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 5:23 am

amother OP wrote:

I wouldn't know unless through marriage. My husband doesn't really have any connection with her family (adopted or birth) beyond knowing the names of the adopted siblings

I meant cousin, through adoption.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 5:45 am

bestme wrote:

Did she ever try to find her birth parents? Did she try to find her siblings?

Yes after both adoptive parents were niftar she looked into it and connected with them. It's a pretty formal relationship as it had already been almost 50 years. Her siblings are much younger than her and are mostly following their mothers lead. We're also all in America now and they're still in Israel

amother

Magnolia

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 7:25 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes, her birth mother was a teenager at the time. She was told the baby died and was then adopted by older parents

This is so awful. And so mind-boggling that even on this forum there are posters who deny this ever happened.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:06 am

amother Apricot wrote:

Were her adoptive parents religious? Was her birth mother religious?

She was raised dati leumi but became more religious as a teenager. I'm not sure what her birth mother was like back then but she's currently mizrachi

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:07 am

amother Peach wrote:

This is so sad.

How has this effected your mil emotionally?

She's not a very emotional person but that could be because of other factors in life. She loved the parents that raised her so there's no resentment on that part

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 8:08 am

amother Butterscotch wrote:

Did her birth mother faint? did she want anything to do with her?

I wasn't there for the reunion but now they keep a formal relationship. Her birth mother hasn't told her extended family about her, only her other kids

amother

Offwhite

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 9:12 am

Wait. So just to clarify..
You mother in law searched for her birth mother, and when she found her, the birth mother told her that she was told that her baby had died?

ectomorph

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 2:36 pm

amother Magnolia wrote:

This is so awful. And so mind-boggling that even on this forum there are posters who deny this ever happened.

It definitely happened.

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 2:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

How did she connect with them? How did she verify it was actually her mother? Did she ever meet her father?

soproud

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 2:50 pm

This really breaks my heart. The anguish these vulnerable immigrant families went through… unfathomable.