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Forum
-> Computers, Phones and Devices
amother
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 Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:24 pm
Today, I didn’t just reclaim my life, I snatched it back from the jaws of a thief. I was reborn, and renewed, and I rekindled my marriage. With a hammer in hand, I smashed my iPhone and tablet into a thousand tiny pieces. I’m not here to preach or tell anyone what to do, but I need to share my story because I was trapped, and now I am free.
Our drift toward distraction began innocently enough. My husband and I got our first iPhone when our oldest was barely a year and a half. We told ourselves it was for “work", as if that justified the grip it would soon have on us. Little did we know, it would become the worst decision we ever made. It didn’t just steal our attention; it stole our lives, our marriage, and our child's parents. We became shadows of ourselves, with a screen’s glow lighting the void where our love and presence used to be.
It started gradually. I downloaded social media apps, and soon, I was watching endless streams of movies. I was no longer living, I was merely scrolling. I was no longer a person, a wife, or a mother, I was a prisoner.
There were no exceptions. I scrolled while feeding my baby, my eyes Messed toward the screen during bath time, and I tapped away as my child drifted off to sleep. Our marriage disintegrated before my very eyes, though I was too distracted to notice. Even during meals, vacations, or late-night walks, my husband and I were side by side, but a million miles apart. Our devices divided us, actually, no, they devoured us. I’ll spare you the details of the impact it had on the intimate side of our marriage.
The iPhone didn’t just take over our lives, it devoured them.
Of course, we convinced ourselves otherwise. We still managed to “talk” for a few minutes each day, didn’t we? Isn’t that enough? Who really needs to chat through an entire dinner?! The lies we told ourselves were absurd, and yet we believed them, letting the precious minutes slip away time that should have been spent chasing my child’s laughter or building a bond in the early years of our marriage.
The iPhone didn’t just steal my time it robbed me of moments that I can never get back.
It took us years, years to acknowledge what our devices were doing to us. But even after the realization dawned, breaking free felt like trying to escape from quicksand. We installed filters, deleted apps, reinstalled them in moments of weakness, and went in circles for what seemed like an eternity. It was an addiction, plain and simple, and shaking free from its grasp was nearly impossible.
But then, life threw us a curveball, an opportunity for change disguised as hardship. We needed something drastic to pull us out of the downward spiral. We switched to basic phones. In an instant, it was like coming up for air after nearly drowning. I could see clearly again. I got my life back. Our kids finally had the parents they deserved parents who weren’t constantly rushing through dinner to retreat to the glow of a screen. Parents who tucked them in without distraction, and who sat together, uninterrupted, reconnecting in ways we hadn’t in years.
But our old phones still lingered in the drawer, tempting us. Occasionally, we would use them to check a contact or download music. But today… today, we put an end to it once and for all.
We took those cursed devices and shattered them with a hammer. We smashed and smashed until there was nothing left but shards of glass and twisted metal. We didn’t stop until our phones were unrecognizable!
The feeling was electric. It was like a storm breaking and the sun finally shining through. I can’t even begin to describe the freedom coursing through my veins.
I’m alive again. I’m no longer living through a screen. I’m living life itself.
We did it!
(Sorry for the long post..)
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amother
Forestgreen
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:27 pm
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PSA: you can sell phones for money, and it's halachically problematic to destroy any item of value.
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Light1234
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:29 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Today, I didn’t just reclaim my life, I snatched it back from the jaws of a thief. I was reborn, and renewed, and I rekindled my marriage. With a hammer in hand, I smashed my iPhone and tablet into a thousand tiny pieces. I’m not here to preach or tell anyone what to do, but I need to share my story because I was trapped, and now I am free.
Our drift toward distraction began innocently enough. My husband and I got our first iPhone when our oldest was barely a year and a half. We told ourselves it was for “work", as if that justified the grip it would soon have on us. Little did we know, it would become the worst decision we ever made. It didn’t just steal our attention; it stole our lives, our marriage, and our child's parents. We became shadows of ourselves, with a screen’s glow lighting the void where our love and presence used to be.
It started gradually. I downloaded social media apps, and soon, I was watching endless streams of movies. I was no longer living, I was merely scrolling. I was no longer a person, a wife, or a mother, I was a prisoner.
There were no exceptions. I scrolled while feeding my baby, my eyes Messed toward the screen during bath time, and I tapped away as my child drifted off to sleep. Our marriage disintegrated before my very eyes, though I was too distracted to notice. Even during meals, vacations, or late-night walks, my husband and I were side by side, but a million miles apart. Our devices divided us, actually, no, they devoured us. I’ll spare you the details of the impact it had on the intimate side of our marriage.
The iPhone didn’t just take over our lives, it devoured them.
Of course, we convinced ourselves otherwise. We still managed to “talk” for a few minutes each day, didn’t we? Isn’t that enough? Who really needs to chat through an entire dinner?! The lies we told ourselves were absurd, and yet we believed them, letting the precious minutes slip away time that should have been spent chasing my child’s laughter or building a bond in the early years of our marriage.
The iPhone didn’t just steal my time it robbed me of moments that I can never get back.
It took us years, years to acknowledge what our devices were doing to us. But even after the realization dawned, breaking free felt like trying to escape from quicksand. We installed filters, deleted apps, reinstalled them in moments of weakness, and went in circles for what seemed like an eternity. It was an addiction, plain and simple, and shaking free from its grasp was nearly impossible.
But then, life threw us a curveball, an opportunity for change disguised as hardship. We needed something drastic to pull us out of the downward spiral. We switched to basic phones. In an instant, it was like coming up for air after nearly drowning. I could see clearly again. I got my life back. Our kids finally had the parents they deserved parents who weren’t constantly rushing through dinner to retreat to the glow of a screen. Parents who tucked them in without distraction, and who sat together, uninterrupted, reconnecting in ways we hadn’t in years.
But our old phones still lingered in the drawer, tempting us. Occasionally, we would use them to check a contact or download music. But today… today, we put an end to it once and for all.
We took those cursed devices and shattered them with a hammer. We smashed and smashed until there was nothing left but shards of glass and twisted metal. We didn’t stop until our phones were unrecognizable!
The feeling was electric. It was like a storm breaking and the sun finally shining through. I can’t even begin to describe the freedom coursing through my veins.
I’m alive again. I’m no longer living through a screen. I’m living life itself.
We did it!
(Sorry for the long post..) |
Good
for you for getting your life back!
I often want to return to my old phone as well!
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amother
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:29 pm
| amother Forestgreen wrote: | | PSA: you can sell phones for money, and it's halachically problematic to destroy any item of value. |
not necessarily. ask your LOR.
just like you can toss food, rather than overeating...
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amother
Chicory
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:30 pm
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With what device are you posting this?
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amother
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:30 pm
and I must say -- good for you!!
although I have a flip phone, I still have devices and wish I wasn't addicted (and my husband)
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amother
Snapdragon
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:34 pm
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I’m surprised that this is being posted on social media. Do you plan on following this thread?
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amother
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:37 pm
Computer that has a filter.
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amother
Lightblue
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:38 pm
I'm literally bawling reading this.
Oh how I wish I have the courage.
My new phone is lying around, waiting for me to be just desperate enough.
This will be the week iyh. I will toss this phone that's taken me from my kids and shoved me so deeply into this pit of heartbreak.
My marriage, my parenting, my energy. This phone has sucked it all.
I'm so proud of you.
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amother
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:42 pm
| amother Lightblue wrote: | I'm literally bawling reading this.
Oh how I wish I have the courage.
My new phone is lying around, waiting for me to be just desperate enough.
This will be the week iyh. I will toss this phone that's taken me from my kids and shoved me so deeply into this pit of heartbreak.
My marriage, my parenting, my energy. This phone has sucked it all.
I'm so proud of you. |
I get you!
Hashem should give you the koach! its not easy!
You can do it!
Good Luck!
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amother
Lemon
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:43 pm
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OP, thank you for sharing this! Food for thought for all of us I think...
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amother
Daisy
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:46 pm
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Is this post a joke? I don't understand how a person can let technology take over their lives to such an extent. And smashing it instead of selling? Seems weird.
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amother
Daffodil
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Sun, Oct 20 2024, 11:52 pm
Good for you that you realized you were not benefitting from it.
I just tossed my flip phone and got an I phone back .I need google maps, bank apps, email, update my business website, shopping, and to relax, I use this website. I used to have an iphone , but then I got issues with my childrens school. So I got a flip. I couldnt get my life together…. So yeah, there is definitely two sides to a story. And whoever looks at me like iam otd or whatever because I have a smart phone, too bad.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 21 2024, 12:00 am
| amother Daisy wrote: | | Is this post a joke? I don't understand how a person can let technology take over their lives to such an extent. And smashing it instead of selling? Seems weird. |
Neither did I. Realizing what the iPhone had done to my life didn’t happen overnight. And if you don’t suffer from smartphone addiction, consider yourself lucky—many people I know aren’t as fortunate.
Just to clarify, these were old, well-used phones, and they weren’t worth selling!
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amother
Cornsilk
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Mon, Oct 21 2024, 12:16 am
Thats amazing and inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
I'm in a similar position as you are (before you got rid of your iPhone). Its effecting all areas of my life. I'm so temped to buy a kosher smartphone (since I would still need a few apps such as Waze and etc). I keep pushing it off though bec my current phone works well and the type of kosher smartphone I would need is expensive and we are short on money now... hopefully one day (filtering my current smartphone won't be enough for me to break this habits, I literally need a new phone where it's not possible to change things or uninstall a filter.
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amother
Tulip
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Thu, Oct 24 2024, 2:28 pm
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I'm happy for you that you were able to break free from the addiction you felt you had. I guess I'm just lucky that I am not addicted to my smart phone. I am able to use it when I need it and put it down when I don't need it. But everyone is of course different and if it's completely taking over your life then that of course is a problem. Enjoy the new found freedom!
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Rappel
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Thu, Oct 24 2024, 2:32 pm
Good for you.
Btw - for those whom want apps, but not internet browsing or a large attractive screen, check out AGM's rugged phone. It really is useful, and it doesn't use you
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amother
Sapphire
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Thu, Oct 24 2024, 2:39 pm
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I have a balanced life bh and am not glued to my screen or scrolling and have the ability to put away the phone for as many hours as I need to. When I’m with children I don’t have my phone next to me. Not everyone needs to break their phone into pieces
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ProudMommie
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Thu, Oct 24 2024, 2:51 pm
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Thank you!!! I hear you...I once was visiting someone without any access to the internet. I smelled Gan Eden at their house..but I also at some point had no smart phones...and it was wonderful
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evaeva
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Fri, Oct 25 2024, 5:10 am
KOL HAKAVOD! VERY INSPIRING, EVERY WOMAN THAT GETS INSPIRED SHOULD DO AT LEAST ONE ACTION IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION IMMED BEFORE INSPIRATION FADES....
YOU CAN DO IT! LETS BRING YESHUOS TO KLAL YISRAEL.
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