What do teenage girls wear to shul on Yom Kippur?

amother

Blonde

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 10:04 pm

My dd is choosing her outfit based on her tights. She only wanted to wear black tights and not nude for comfort so all her summer dresses and white clothing are out.
In yeshivish communities I don’t find ppl as particular about wearing white.

amother

Daylily

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 5:11 am

amother Grape wrote:

I don’t think people are so into white anymore. Let her wear whatever she wants it’s not worth it.

Agree, plus ime it's more of a generational thing. When I was a teen, it was mostly adults who wore white and girls just wore whatever shabbos outfit they had for the season. I still see that. It's not so practical financially to have to buy a white outfit every year or so because of outgrowing one's clothing.

kenz

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 5:29 am

max wrote:

No gold? People don’t wear earrings or wedding and engagement rings or watches?

You can wear something if you basically never take it off, but it’s an inyan not to wear gold ao as not to detract from the holiness of the day.

amother

Tan

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 5:32 am

I think OP is right. Better they ask her than spend EYK discussing clothes with friends.
For context, Israeli yeshivish, if my girls have something white, they wear it, if not, any Shabbos dress, summer or winter is fine. No jewellery. There is no big emphasis put on what the girls are wearing, there will likely be a range.
You're a great mom!

watergirl

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 5:44 am

kenz wrote:

You can wear something if you basically never take it off, but it’s an inyan not to wear gold ao as not to detract from the holiness of the day.

I actually double checked this yesterday with a few rabbis (the aish.com rabbi, my husband, and a community rav). It's a minhag not to wear YELLOW gold because it recalls the golden calf. Yellow colored jewelry is not an issue as far a minhag goes, as it's not yellow GOLD. White gold is also fine as it's not yellow.

The other inyan is to go into the day with humility, not to be showy. My rings are white gold and very modestly sized, and I have a necklace also white gold I wear even in the shower. Those things, I plan to wear. I have silver bracelets I wear MOST days but not every day, those I won't wear.

I also mentioned to the two rabbonim I spoke with that my husband, also a rav, says it's fine for me to wear my white gold jewelry, so there it's shalom bayis which trumps ALL minhagim. Even though he did not ask me or tell me to wear them and he's fine with whatever I do, just that I asked him and he said white gold it outside the minhag and as I wear it all day every day it's not special costume jewelry - listening to his answer in and of itself shows respect for my husband and therefor per the other rabbis I chatted with, I should davka wear it.

amother

Lemonlime

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 9:03 am

amother Lightcoral wrote:

I just don understand why YK is different than any time they’re in shul. Do you consult others before taking them shopping? As far as whether to wear black tights or not- I don’t understand the ques. If it’s hot out why would they need to wear black tights? Maybe in your area it’s diff but by me (and I do not live OOT) no matter what you wear there’ll be someone dressed like that too. I just think you’re putting too much emphasis on this and the need to conform.

Why cant people kindly answer amother.

I admire amother.

She is mothering her daughters.