$1.60 in my bank account

SYA ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 1:04 pm

All those putting down OP don’t know her personal details. If I recall correctly she has a health condition that requires her to work out, she has children who need weekly appointments. That could be physical or mental health. Being a parent to children with health issues or special needs is a lot of work.

I have a friend with a special needs child. She had to stop working. Once the child comes home she can’t leave and has to be fully present. Dinner needs to be prepped before the child gets home. All appointments for the other children have to be during school hours. Scheduling the appointments, basic cleaning (cleaner comes weekly for harder work) shopping and more all have to be during the time the child is at school. I don’t think people realize the amount of time and work it takes when one has or has a child with physical or mental health conditions.

↑ SYA

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 1:11 pm

One other point, she’s not sharing all her financial and personal information. And she has every right not to, to protect her privacy.

Sometimes, pay for local jobs can only bring in so much. There’s only so many hours in a day one can work, which depends on an individuals specific circumstances. In these cases, it may be worth to work slightly less for the short term to set up a business that will bring in considerably more for the long term. If it can mostly run with little work from OP so she could work minimally at a steady job and then eventually drop it when it grows, that is really a great option.

amother

↑ Stoneblue

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 1:29 pm

amother Bottlebrush wrote:

You're making a choice between food and therapy. To me the obvious choice is food for my family. I guess for you, it's your therapy.

And it doesn't have to be that way. There have been many, many suggestions on this thread and you've basically pulled down most of them.

Judgemental??!! May you never know!
May Hashem be less judgemental to you this Yom Kippur than you've been to OP.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 1:53 pm

SYA wrote:

Thank you so much for saying this. Sometimes I’m shocked at all the responses on imamother this was a breath of fresh air.
I’m not sitting at home twiddling my thumbs we made a decision that seems to be the best long term decision for us, and right now it’s very hard. Doesn’t mean I’m not doing hishtadlus, and I am creating a kli for Hashem to bring Bracha and IyH he will. And I can grow this business and then have it to rely on if I ever cannot work (maternity leave, sick kid Chas shalom whatever).

But we have a long term plan on my end. DH still needs to figure out his long term plan because his pay is not sustainable but right now we are not there yet and we are struggling. Doesn’t mean we aren’t trying the best we can

doodlesmom

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 2:26 pm

Op not sure if this was suggested, but how about you tell Tomchei shabbos, that you’re a drop off for someone who is too embarrassed to have it delivered to their house? And that person will “ come pick it up” from your house.

amother

↑ Coral ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 3:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

It's a breath of fresh air to you because she's validating you. The rest of us are telling you to get out of your comfort zone for the benefit of your family, and you don't want to hear it.

amother

↑ Coral ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 3:12 pm

SYA wrote:

I have a physical disability. Literally a physical disability where if I trip and fall I can shatter my bones. I have to constantly manage my health condition. I have a child with autism who needs therapies and constant support. I have other children. I also have a FT job and career. It can be done.

amother

↑ Salmon

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 4:19 pm

amother Coral wrote:

Kudos to you. So impressed.
I work full time and have 2 kids with ND. It can be done!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 6:02 pm

amother Coral wrote:

It's a breath of fresh air to you because she's validating you. The rest of us are telling you to get out of your comfort zone for the benefit of your family, and you don't want to hear it.

Yes because I live my own life and make decisions that feel appropriate for us.
I listened to many suggestions here, I don’t know why you think I don’t want to hear it.
I’m trying to hear whatever I can and see if there is a way it makes sense. (Even looking into job opportunities, I wasn’t saying I can’t do them I was questioning how they would work).
If you don’t agree with it, gezunteheidt you don’t have to.

amother

↑ Leaf

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 6:24 pm

SYA wrote:

"Work slightly less for the short term to bring more for the long term"
Working 20-25h per week for a year or two while your husband's salary covers the rest of expenses, so you can work minimally or stop working after would be what you're talking about. Not working 10-15h per week (really, half of that if you count all yomim tovim, school breaks, summer - 15K/52 weeks/hourly rate) because appointments during the day and drop offs/pick ups; growing businesses that will hopefully be profitable at some later point, husband's low salary, mortgage arrears, not enough food, and nothing in the bank, etc.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 6:47 pm

amother Coral wrote:

Ok I'm asking this out of genuine desire to know if it can even be feasible for me. What do you do for childcare before and after work hours?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 2:55 am

amother Ginger wrote:

There are options for full day daycare in Cleveland.

Isn’t it very very hard to get into.
And what about school aged kids?

Again, I’m not asking as an excuse just trying to understand how this works

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:14 am

notshanarishona wrote:

Very few. Only Orthodox one I am aware of is Torah Nursery which is impossible to get in for a baby but easy to get in for 3-4.

I think in Cleveland in generally it’s very difficult to be full time working mom. There are very limited options. But that’s another discussion.

amother

Teal

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:31 am

amother Ginger wrote:

There are options for full day daycare in Cleveland.

Where? There isnt one frum place. Someone mentioned torah nursery. It is not full time. Its 8:30-4:30 and closed on all the days that all the other schools are closed.