Bad faster and nursing baby- how do you do it?!

amother

↑ Dill ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 2:23 am

How can there be no one in her entire city who can help her? Can you get tzedaka money to hire a non jew to help her? Is she uncomfortable with someone else in her house?

Skipping feeds one day won't ruin her milk supply but I don't think it will help much because her body will produce milk on schedule and she'll become engorged. Skipping one or two feeds maybe, but I don't understand people suggesting she go from ebf to a full day of bottle feeds.

↑ gootlfriends

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 8:09 am

amother Dill wrote:

No one suggesting a full day of bottles. Most babies eat every 2-3 hours. I suggest starting bottles at noon.

amother

Watermelon ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 8:13 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

I have a terrible time fasting+nursing.

By the end of the fast I'm pretty much half unconscious, and the baby is screaming and starving.

kali tzom doesn't help me for long fasts. I doubt the time release electrolytes would be that helpful either, but can't hurt to try.

If she has someone who can move in, or she can move in to, that would be a nice idea.

Do you have help or someone to move into?
Give your baby bottles, they shouldn't fast

amother

↑ Dimgray

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:42 am

amother OP wrote:

She didn't tell the rav that she's single. She doesn't live in my community and doesn't have anywhere to be. She has no choice but to be alone for all of Yom Kippur. The rav said that she should fast and stay in bed and have someone help her- but he doesn't know that she doesn't have anyone.

Will giving bottles affect her milk supply? The baby is exclusively breastfeeding.

As long as baby isn’t a newborn it shouldn’t affect supply. But she still needs help! The only heter that I can think would actually help is iv, but does she even live in a community where that’s a thing?

Can you travel to her? Or her to you. It’s worth paying for a flight if that’s the only way for her to get help.

amother

↑ Dill

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:50 am

gootlfriends wrote:

No one suggesting a full day of bottles. Most babies eat every 2-3 hours. I suggest starting bottles at noon.

Did I misunderstand your previous post?

Quote:

One day of bottles will not affect her supply. I did it with 2 kids. She might need to cluster feed the next day but then she should be fine. She should focus on hydrating herself. I suggest she hire a teen to help her with the baby. Babies are a lot of work.

Ruchel

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:55 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

You seem like you fast even worse than me. You might well qualify for shiurim

amother

↑ Daisy

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:56 am

amother Dimgray wrote:

As long as baby isn’t a newborn it shouldn’t affect supply.

Fasting will affect supply but only for the later part of the day and a day or so after the fast. It Shouldn’t affect supply for long term for a newborn or any age baby IME.

When I took kalei tzom I had way less issues with supply the day after the fast.

But yes she absolutely should get help. It can’t be she lives in a place where there’s no one at all who can help her.

amother

Mustard

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:24 am

One of my daughters fasts terribly when nursing & absolutely does shiurim. (And they are very very careful with halacha. And never get an IV!)

Your friend must find a way to get help though. It sounds dangerous to me!

And she must call back the Rov & say she has no help. And also get clear to know when to start shiurim. If one waits too long it doesn't help & then they must drink regular.

amother

↑ Lightpink

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:32 am

amother Watermelon wrote:

Do you have help or someone to move into?
Give your baby bottles, they shouldn't fast

My last baby refused bottles. Trust me, I tried.

I didn't have help, but I have older(ish) kids around. In hindsight I should have had more help, but also not sure what help could have done for an ebf baby whose mommy is completely depleted. Maybe hold her so I wouldn't feel so bad about her crying. But that's it.

amother

↑ Watermelon

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 11:36 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

Can you pump extra before and then someone else can feed her

TantaB

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:54 pm

She should start hydrating now already and upkeep extra hydration for a few days post fast, so her milk supply won't be as affected by a day of not fully nursing.
I second the thought of having some bottles ready, worked for me to give a couple of bottles towards the middle/end of the fast
One last thing, a four month old, hope she has an easy baby, can sit in a carriage/be in a crib for a nice chunk of time, won't adversely affect them for one day. I might get tomatoes thrown at me, but a propped bottle will also provide nutrition for the baby and not necessitate mother sitting and feeding the baby if she needs to lie down.
And yes, she should absolutely share the fact that she is alone with the Rav, it is a very relevant detail.
Hoping she can get outside help and a gmar chasimah tovah!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 10:43 am

Thank you all! You are probably right that she should reach out to the rav and explain that she didn't reveal all relevant info- however, she's having a hard time reaching the rav. Can anyone post contact info for other rabbanim she can try?

HonesttoGod

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 11:36 am

Powerade/Gatorade before the fast.
Slow release tylenol, caffeine, and electrolytes (really life savers)

She MUST TELL THE RAV SHE IS SINGLE!!!

She will get a much better psak than "stay in bed all day" which she will do anyway.

amother

Chicory

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 7:35 pm

My baby was a month old by Yom Kippur. My baby's pediatrician prescribed DDAVP for me, the medication which prevents bedwetting by retaining fluids. I also supplemented bottles and breastfeed less.