$1.60 in my bank account

amother

↑ Cyan ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 8:49 am

amother OP wrote:

Of course food is important. My therapy is very important. I cannot give it up right now. If I was working part time (25 hour a week, that wouldn’t include a lunch break).

If you were working 25 hours a week you would still b able to go to therapy. 9-3 is 30 hours so you should be able to fit it in at beg or end of day

amother

↑ Lemonlime

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 8:51 am

amother OP wrote:

I’m not making excuses. I’m asking HOW to work it. I started my job with the promise of 20 hours a week but it’s not at that, so I’m in the search for something new.
Find a new therapist is not an option. That’s the one thing I can’t change

You really shouldn't be asking a whole bunch of anonymous women online for help making life decisions. I'm very pro asking for help online, but it needs to be in context of the rest of your life.

I would ask here for suggestions - sometimes people have ideas I haven't thought of. Imamother is a great resource for that!

But for help making real life decisions, please please turn to someone IRL. Your therapist should either be helping you figure it out, or ideally she should be helping you learn to create a bigger support network IRL. You say that therapy is a must for you, but your therapist should be helping you create a world outside of therapy. And if not, and she is the only support you have, than she should be the one helping you make these life decisions. Show her this thread, go through the options with her.

But please don't let imamother posters dictate to you how to live your life. You're taking this WAY too seriously. Ask for help, it doesn't work, move on. I'm giving you real life advice.

ETA: I think people are actually giving very helpful suggestions and advice here. It's not that the advice is bad, it's just that you really also need a real person to talk this through with as well.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 9:03 am

amother Aconite wrote:

Op I hope you win the lottery. But in the event that you dont I just want to point out that your not that different than the rest of us. If I only worked 10-15 hours my family would also not make it and fall apart. My priority right now is supporting my family (together with my husband) its all about priorities. I do have a health issue at the moment that I really need pt for but just cant manage to fit it in my day guess what its not my priority right now and it will just have to wait (while im in pain and all) but we have enough money to cover our mortgage and feed my family. Yes some kids have appointments that need to be prioritized I looked high and low for places that I can work around the schedule and thats why as I said earlier I work on Sundays. From what you describe you and your husband are both currently trying to start businesses it doesnt sound like a smart thing to do simultaneously you need to have steady income first then start a business on the side.
Ive refrained from commenting till now because I really dont want to hurt you but you keep crying out howuch your struggling and then the more you share the more I realize we are not so different our priorities are.

My husband is not trying to start a business now. He did try it was fully on the side he was also working full time. There is still the potential for it to take off at any point but so far it hasn’t

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 9:05 am

amother Cyan wrote:

If you were working 25 hours a week you would still b able to go to therapy. 9-3 is 30 hours so you should be able to fit it in at beg or end of day

Well by the time I get to work after childcare drop off /pickup I can potentially be at work 9:30-2:30. I drop off at 9 pickup at 3. I’m just thinking out loud, not trying to make excuses

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 9:06 am

amother Lemonlime wrote:

Yes I’m gonna bring it to my therapist thanks

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 9:09 am

I also work a few hours a day in business. It’s a longer term plan than working at a new job (which I’m going to do also). Because once it’s fully established it will flow IYH and be an easy source of parnassah. So right now it’s hard because it’s the beginning and it doesn’t have a lot to show on paper

amother

↑ Cyan

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 9:11 am

amother OP wrote:

Well by the time I get to work after childcare drop off /pickup I can potentially be at work 9:30-2:30. I drop off at 9 pickup at 3. I’m just thinking out loud, not trying to make excuses

Is there any after hours or early hours at childcare? How often do you go to therapy? If it's once a week maybe someone else can pick up or drop off that day so you can go to therapy

amother

↑ Aconite

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 9:14 am

amother OP wrote:

Well by the time I get to work after childcare drop off /pickup I can potentially be at work 9:30-2:30. I drop off at 9 pickup at 3. I’m just thinking out loud, not trying to make excuses

Work it out between you and your husband one does drop off and one does pickup I start work at 8 so I can be home at a reasonable time my husband takes the kids in the morning and comes home much later. Or there’s carpools or if you are earning more money you can afford childcare. Again its a mindset “I can only work when my kids are away” vs I have to figure out childcare so I can work more because we need the money.

amother

Salmon ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 10:21 am

At first I had a lot of sympathy for you. But honestly after 12 pages you really need a REAL job with a steady income and where you work more than 5 hours a week.
For me- we are struggling now due to DH's unemployment and mental health issues. So I work 40 hours a week. Out of the home. I am out by 745 to do morning carpool and don't come home until after 5. I do morning carpool, he does afternoons. I use my lunch break to coordinate appointments, call doctors etc. It is the only way we pay rent, food etc.

When you need to, you make it work. You find a way.
I am trying to do something on the side, planning it out. Right now it requires money to jump start it so I am not putting it into practice just yet but I am planning. Because I can't afford the time off work or the costs.
Side businesses have to stay side until you have the financial security to possibly lose your investment and be OK without income. Even though I would have the opportunity to more than double my income with it, my kids can't just not eat or have shoes that fit.

amother

↑ Iris ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 10:49 am

Hi OP. you sound like you're going through a lot.

I think you should discuss finances with your therapist and really listen.

I see a local therapist who is excellent and I wouldn't want to drop her either. One reason she is excellent is because she pushes me past my comfort zones and makes me do real work and rethink the way I view things. That may be helpful for you in the area of finance.

I know you keep saying you're over qualified for so many jobs, but if you're not making it, you take a less well-paying job that's available. LTC I think only has full-time , but I thinje United Refuah has part-time jobs.
Lets say you got a job at united refuah from 9-1 Mon-Fri, that would be 20 hours a week which is more than whay you're doing. Lets say they pay $30/hour. That would be almost $500 A week. And you would still have time every day after work to go for therapy, take kids to appointments, and work on your businesses.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 10:52 am

amother Iris wrote:

Do you have info for the united Refuah job? And are you really sure they pay that much?

notshanarishona ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 10:52 am

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

When did you last check? The levels change every year. I think every October, so it literally changed last week if so. (I know it did for childcare as I got an email as a provider.)
Also child care vouchers changed this spring for at least a year to have a second tier of eligibility between the 145th-200th percentile.

Thank you so much for mentioning this. Just reminded me to recheck and get ourselves back on Snap. Our income is complicated because we get kicked off every summer when my business is busy but then back on in September. We were borderline making it worth it but the new numbers really helped so thank you! (You just made our yom tov)

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 10:54 am

notshanarishona wrote:

But doesn’t it take a while until you get on?

amother

↑ Iris ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 10:54 am

amother OP wrote:

Do you have info for the united Refuah job? And are you really sure they pay that much?

I don't really know pay. Maybe its $25/hr?
But I do know that there are women and girls who work there part time.
And there are women from UH and CH, mothers at both HAC and YDT so you probably know of someone who works there whom you can ask (unless your kids don't go to those schools and you live somewhere else)

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 10:56 am

amother Iris wrote:

I am looking on their website I don’t see anything about available Jobs. I don’t know anyone who works there, but if anyone here does I’d be interested to know if there are any openings

↑ notshanarishona ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 11:13 am

amother OP wrote:

But doesn’t it take a while until you get on?

Yes and no. It can take 2-3 months but you normally get backpay from when you qualified.
Also, sometimes Gesher makes it go even faster.
Additionally, if I include documentation of health conditions that technically qualify me for disability (if not that I work ) and then that automatically expedites it

↑ notshanarishona ↓

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 11:19 am

Also you can PM me if I can help, if you proove that your monthly expenses are greater than your income and / or your bank account is less than $150 they will expedite it. There are a lot of ways to make it go faster.
Additionally, if your self employed, they only count your income as half as far as getting benefits so it can help you.
We have spent many years balancing being right on the edge of benefits and trying to set up my business to make enough over to make ends meet to be worth it so I have a lot of experience

amother

↑ Stone

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 12:51 pm

amother Stoneblue wrote:

Disclaimer, I didn't read all 10 pages but I got the gist of the situation.
I think it is very unfair to "demand" that the mother of several children, who has a medical condition, should work more hours. Kudos to those who can juggle working 40 hours and a household.
I think running two businesses gives Hashem a vessel where the Bracha can come through. And if for whatever reason it is not coming via that vessel, then yes, you may need to resort to Tomchei Shabbos to tide you over.
But a mother in your situation to take on more working hours (equaling more stress) which may or may not affect your medical condition, may not be practical or productive.
Only you know the dynamics of your household and only you can know if working more hours will benefit your family. (Not referring to financially).

There is a difference between saying that you need to work 40 hours a week and juggle children, and work more then the 25 hours A MONTH that Op is working. That's not even 10 hours a week ( 15k a year!!!!)

That is not working, its a side hustle.

OP if you cant work 25 hours a week on a job with flexibility (most remote jobs have flexibility), which is still part time, then at least 15 hours a week. Or just drop the jop so you can get benefits and stop doing things like cleaning help.

amother

Papayawhip

Wed, Oct 09 2024, 1:24 pm

I really feel bad that this is your situation
But something has to give
I’m home now, recovering from ppd and mono at the same time.
Can I use cleaning help? Of course, but I canceled it bec rn I’m not working.
My point is, not everything will work out exactly how it’s comfortable for you.
It sounds like it may be a good idea to put one of your businesses on hold and find a better job so that you can put food on the table for your family.
You can work on one of the business at night. Or early in the morning.
Same goes for appointments. It’s not easy, but you just figure it out and make it work, even if that means dinner isn’t ready exactly on time or you do all appointments on Sunday. Or whatever it is
You just gotta figure it out.
If your priority is to work on your businesses and not have money or food, that’s a choice that you’re making and that’s ok if that’s what you decide is best for you, but then you can complain that you don’t have money.