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amother
Tomato
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 8:09 am
amother Beige wrote: | I remember this too. So many frightening moments for my friends and me. I'm pretty sure we had to sign something beforehand that they're not responsible for our lives. Absolutely insane. I sure hope the camps don't do this anymore. |
I actually do hope that camps still do this. Exposing kids to (fairly low levels of) risk is very important in their development. The current generation is so worried about exposing kids to any sort of discomfort and risk that we're creating generations of kids who are anxious and fragile. You obviously wouldn't want to do anything overtly dangerous, but letting kids experience small degrees of danger is essential. I'm a big fan of Jonathan Haidt... read his books if you haven't yet.
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amother
Firebrick
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:17 am
Times were different it’s not bashing parents thread It was safer back then in the 90’s
I remember taking the subway myself to work when I was 19 and walking around Manhattan and taking amtrack myself to visit grandparents and being out with friends till 2 in the morning with no phone so nobody knew who’s house we were at
It was very different then
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amother
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:21 am
amother Firebrick wrote: | Times were different it’s not bashing parents thread It was safer back then in the 90’s
I remember taking the subway myself to work when I was 19 and walking around Manhattan and taking amtrack myself to visit grandparents and being out with friends till 2 in the morning with no phone so nobody knew who’s house we were at
It was very different then |
19 is an adult. A 19 year old should be able to travel independently. I think whoever has lived in NY has taken the subway alone at age 19. I took the subway & busses at a younger age.
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giftedmom
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:07 am
amother Tomato wrote: | I actually do hope that camps still do this. Exposing kids to (fairly low levels of) risk is very important in their development. The current generation is so worried about exposing kids to any sort of discomfort and risk that we're creating generations of kids who are anxious and fragile. You obviously wouldn't want to do anything overtly dangerous, but letting kids experience small degrees of danger is essential. I'm a big fan of Jonathan Haidt... read his books if you haven't yet. |
IDK I wouldn’t call somewhere where two adult men drowned within two days “low level of risk”
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amother
Tangerine
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:11 am
amother Tomato wrote: | I actually do hope that camps still do this. Exposing kids to (fairly low levels of) risk is very important in their development. The current generation is so worried about exposing kids to any sort of discomfort and risk that we're creating generations of kids who are anxious and fragile. You obviously wouldn't want to do anything overtly dangerous, but letting kids experience small degrees of danger is essential. I'm a big fan of Jonathan Haidt... read his books if you haven't yet. |
I would rather my kids engage in dangerous stuff with my husband who is better equipped to deal with crises then some teen counselors. I don't think it should be done in camp.
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Ruchi
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:18 am
amother Junglegreen wrote: | Here's another one I just remembered, and this one my mother actually was the one to bring up what a bad idea it was. I wanted guitar lessons when I was in high school and my parents asked around for recommendations for an instructor. Apparently, the best instructor in town was a man who gave private lessons in his home in a totally soundproofed room 🤦♀️ BH everything was perfectly fine, he WAS a great instructor and totally professional and I was perfectly safe and nothing happened other than me learning how to play guitar. But looking back at it now in 2024, it was such incredibly poor judgment by all the adults involved (in fact, I wonder, if he's still giving lessons, hopefully he's changed his setup!) My mom in particular can't believe she just allowed that arrangement no questions asked. |
Yichud Alert!
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amother
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:51 am
amother Mint wrote: | Ha this is gonna be a fun one…
My mother took me to an R-rated movie in theaters when I was eight years old. There was a scene with r@pe. Fun times… my eyes are still hurting. |
What’s wrong with your mother?
Asking seriously.
When I was a kid I used to play at a friends house who’s mother neglected her. She watched R rated movies all the time and her mother didn’t care. She is not a healthy or stable person today unfortunately
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the world's best mom
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:58 am
Am I allowed to post something done not by my parents?
I once saw a man get out of a car right near a puddle where tons of pigeons were wading. He brought out a huge net, scooped up a bunch of pigeons, and got back into the car with them. He drove away, leaving me wondering if he was planning to make pigeon soup for supper or something.
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Ruchi
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:59 am
amother PlumPink wrote: | What’s wrong with your mother?
Asking seriously.
When I was a kid I used to play at a friends house who’s mother neglected her. She watched R rated movies all the time and her mother didn’t care. She is not a healthy or stable person today unfortunately |
And the movie houses are equally complicit in this crazy situation for allowing in a kid.
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amother
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 11:06 am
Ruchi wrote: | Yichud Alert! |
Obviously I did not grow up frum, so that was not a consideration. But even secular people who don't know the word yichud would nowadays look at such a setup and say, nope, no way, that is not a safe situation for a child (nor for the adult, who would be at risk of potential false accusations). The 00s, 90s, and earlier were simply a different time and CSA and its prevention was just not on the radar of most parents. It was a problem amongst secular as much as frum.
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Ruchi
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 11:09 am
amother Junglegreen wrote: | Obviously I did not grow up frum, so that was not a consideration. But even secular people who don't know the word yichud would nowadays look at such a setup and say, nope, no way, that is not a safe situation for a child (nor for the adult, who would be at risk of potential false accusations). The 00s, 90s, and earlier were simply a different time and CSA and its prevention was just not on the radar of most parents. It was a problem amongst secular as much as frum. |
Oh how times have changed. B"h that there is much more child safety awareness nowadays.
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amother
Valerian
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 11:27 am
amother PlumPink wrote: | What’s wrong with your mother?
Asking seriously.
When I was a kid I used to play at a friends house who’s mother neglected her. She watched R rated movies all the time and her mother didn’t care. She is not a healthy or stable person today unfortunately |
Not that poster, but I was allowed to watch rated R movies from a pretty young age. Probably 8. My family are BTs and my parents grew up in homes that were just exposed to everything at a young age.
BH I am a fully functioning, well adjusted, now yeshivish adult. Watching rated R movies is not the end all be all of if you are dysfunctional. I'm sure there were probably other factors that played into your friend being unhealthy.
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amother
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 11:32 am
heidi wrote: | Agree!
What a nasty nasty thread
Most of the stories here are normal
The real dysfunctional parents were dysfunctional
People really do their best |
I think people are just contrasting the parenting styles then and now. I really dont see this as "cursing out" parents. I think this meant to be more lighthearted
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amother
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 11:47 am
amother Lemon wrote: | I think people are just contrasting the parenting styles then and now. I really dont see this as "cursing out" parents. I think this meant to be more lighthearted |
Right. Also, something can be a poor decision without being majorly life altering. We should do our best to make good decisions, even if choosing wrongly in a particular situation isn't the end of the world!
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Amelia Bedelia
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 11:51 am
the world's best mom wrote: | Am I allowed to post something done not by my parents?
I once saw a man get out of a car right near a puddle where tons of pigeons were wading. He brought out a huge net, scooped up a bunch of pigeons, and got back into the car with them. He drove away, leaving me wondering if he was planning to make pigeon soup for supper or something. |
People use pigeons to treat hepatitis.
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amother
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 11:56 am
amother Valerian wrote: | Not that poster, but I was allowed to watch rated R movies from a pretty young age. Probably 8. My family are BTs and my parents grew up in homes that were just exposed to everything at a young age.
BH I am a fully functioning, well adjusted, now yeshivish adult. Watching rated R movies is not the end all be all of if you are dysfunctional. I'm sure there were probably other factors that played into your friend being unhealthy. |
Oh definitely. Her mother neglected her in every way. That’s why I was asking the other poster if there’s something wrong with her mother. I can’t imagine a FFB normal stable sane mother intentionally allowing an 8 year old to watch a rape scene. Very cruel to do to a child
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amother
DarkCyan
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 2:21 pm
My story is really sad, and I really have no idea what my usually careful parents were thinking.
Here goes:
My siblings and I had to „babysit“ my grandmother who had Alzheimers. For the first few years my grandfather refused to take any help.
I have so many traumatic stories. That is besides for seeing my beloved and elegant grandma turn into a deranged and paranoid woman.
Mind you, nobody sat us down to officially explain her illness.
For example: I would take her on walks and she would shout and scream at me, hit me and run away. I was around 13 years old.
I was about 8 years old when she started to show signs of mental decline.
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GLUE
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 6:50 pm
the world's best mom wrote: | Am I allowed to post something done not by my parents?
I once saw a man get out of a car right near a puddle where tons of pigeons were wading. He brought out a huge net, scooped up a bunch of pigeons, and got back into the car with them. He drove away, leaving me wondering if he was planning to make pigeon soup for supper or something. |
He could have worked for the government.
The government in many cities mounter the health of wild birds, rats and other wild animals in city streets.
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