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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
amother
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:00 pm
Our finances are pretty tight but bh we are able to make it through the month.
DH and I both got Rosh Hashana bonuses from work in the form of a gift card, from the Gift Card registry in Lakewood. Basically a list of local stores accept it, some geared more towards the treat yourself side but many regular stores as well including clothing, Judaica, sock stores etc. Together both cards are a very nice sum of money.
DH wants to pool them to buy me jewelry or another gift which is really sweet.
I'm just not sure why we should treat it any different than money that comes in via a regular paycheck and use it to purchase things we actually need.
We will definitely make the decision of what to do together, but I'm curious what others would do in this situation.
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amother
Ivory
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:04 pm
Probably some and some.
The sock store can be over 100$ Erev yt and being able to do that is also a treat to me.
So say if it was 800$ I’d do nicer flowers for yt or 400$ on new clothing for me then the rest practical things.
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Molly Weasley
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:10 pm
If it's a bonus, also on necessities. If it's a gift, only on a splurge.
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amother
Honey
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:19 pm
your situation, definitely on necessities
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amother
Wisteria
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:23 pm
I would do a splurge on necessities
So necessities that I wouldn't normally treat myself to - a nicer YT outfit, a new hat or suit for dh even if the one he has is technically ok, the cuter socks and hair accessories that we would have gone without....
Personally would not splurge on jewelry when we are month to month, unless month to month already allows for these kind of things.
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amother
Dill
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:24 pm
When I get giftcards as a gift from parents of my playgroup at the end of year present or Purim I usually use it for the kids clothes. Some I've kept for nearly a year to buy Pesach clothes for the kids.
If I'm in need of jewellery for a specific YT outfit I will use it.
I really use it for general shopping that needs buying if the store takes that card.
I do the same with items that come with gift receipt that I don't need. I will return for items I need or gift receipt so I can get something I need later on.
(I am spoilt and know DH will buy me jewellery or clothes for Simchas chag even without the card)
If your husband wants to treat you and it's easier for him to do it as you have the cards I probably will let him feel he is treating you.
It's good for their ego
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AlwaysGrateful
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:31 pm
amother Wisteria wrote: | I would do a splurge on necessities
So necessities that I wouldn't normally treat myself to - a nicer YT outfit, a new hat or suit for dh even if the one he has is technically ok, the cuter socks and hair accessories that we would have gone without....
Personally would not splurge on jewelry when we are month to month, unless month to month already allows for these kind of things. |
I agree with this.
I would have it go towards things that other people might consider necessities, but I would not normally be able to buy without a lot of thought. And the gift would be that I don't have to decide -- I can just buy it. Things that would make my life easier, or that I'd have to buy but can now buy better quality, or that I'd have to buy eventually but can now buy before it's an absolute necessity.
Alternatively, I'd use it on necessities and then allow myself to use the identical amount of money in any other area of life that would fit the above. So use it on things that you'd buy anyway, and then put that amount of money towards more cleaning help, or buying a piece of furniture that you would need to buy anyway but higher quality than what you'd normally let yourself spend...something like that.
ETA: Unless month to month doesn't include money set aside for emergency expenses. If that's the case, I'd use this for necessities and put the money aside for when something else comes up.
Last edited by AlwaysGrateful on Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Waterlily
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:37 pm
We have this in my family. I'm with you, practical all the way. Dh may feel really bad about not being able to buy you something great. What I do in situations like this is start talking about something I really want that is cheaper. Yes, you may need to invent a want out of something that would be nice but you're really fine without. For dh's sake, bonus points if it's something you can put on or use and tell people, "Dh got it for me." Use part of it for that. An elevation if a necessity can sometimes work for this too.
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amother
Diamond
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:38 pm
If I remember correctly the gift card registry in Lakewood cannot be divided among a few stores. So you would need to pick 1 store to spend each gift card in.
Ex. You cant use half for socks and then the other half for books....
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amother
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:40 pm
amother Wisteria wrote: | I would do a splurge on necessities
So necessities that I wouldn't normally treat myself to - a nicer YT outfit, a new hat or suit for dh even if the one he has is technically ok, the cuter socks and hair accessories that we would have gone without....
Personally would not splurge on jewelry when we are month to month, unless month to month already allows for these kind of things. |
I like this since it's somewhere in between.
I was thinking of maybe getting a second set of linen with some of it, right now we only have one which I have to wash and put on our beds at the same day. It would really be a gift for me since it would make my life easier, plus we would also have fresh new linen
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amother
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:41 pm
amother Diamond wrote: | If I remember correctly the gift card registry in Lakewood cannot be divided among a few stores. So you would need to pick 1 store to spend each gift card in.
Ex. You cant use half for socks and then the other half for books.... |
It says you can call them and divide it between multiple cards before you spend.
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amother
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:42 pm
amother Waterlily wrote: | We have this in my family. I'm with you, practical all the way. Dh may feel really bad about not being able to buy you something great. What I do in situations like this is start talking about something I really want that is cheaper. Yes, you may need to invent a want out of something that would be nice but you're really fine without. For dh's sake, bonus points if it's something you can put on or use and tell people, "Dh got it for me." Use part of it for that. An elevation if a necessity can sometimes work for this too. |
Like this thank you! Very smart!
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amother
Ghostwhite
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Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:48 pm
I don’t know I think it’s really sweet that your husband wants to treat you and once in a while it’s OK to splurge Financial struggles will be there regardless of using this practically or not. I wouldn’t do this all the time but something like a bonus I would.
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