Book recommendation on why to believe

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 6:34 pm

amother Moccasin wrote:

I don't know if this will help you because it's not really a good reason to believe, but it is my thought process:

I believe that there is some kind of First Cause entity that we refer to in English as "God" and we will never be able to understand it, like microbes trying to understand Einstein. Period. All the explanations of relationships and whatnot are just our microbe-level human rationalizations trying to cope with that.

I believe that absent supernatural intervention, it is extraordinarily unlikely that the Jews would still exist, in the sense of a cohesive people who have maintained (more or less) a culture, traditions, texts, and group identity across multiple millennia and a worldwide diaspora. I don't know of any other group that has achieved this to the same degree, although I'm sure there could be.

Basically, I believe in the Jewish people and I believe in God. That's enough for me.

I like this. It’s not enough. But it’s the most convincing so far. I do believe in the Jewish people too.

amother

Feverfew ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 6:36 pm

amother Midnight wrote:

Your the op of the previous threads questioning God. STOP OPENING THREADS! We all believe in hashem and have a loving relationship with him! We are living beautiful and meaningful torahdiga lives! We love doing mitzvos and davening to hashem!

She isn't that OP, because I am one of the others. You'd be surprised just how many of us there are out there, just going about our day either like OP, who is happy as she is, or like me, trying to make do with balancing a deep fervent wish that it would be true, with the knowledge that I've done a ton of research and none of it makes sense. I spend my time going about my daily routine (including scheduling and arranging shiurim for my shul) feeling a tremendous chasm between me and the people around me, doing things with them while my brain yells "It's all crazy! It's made up!".

None of us are doing this because it's fun. No one says. " I think people who believe are stupid cultists who have their head in the sand, let me have some fun." It hurts, it really hurts. Sometimes I wish I hadn't had the mind to want to know things and just stay in my blissful cocoon where all is good and Hashem loves me despite all the bad that happens etc. There is a reason why threads like this are opened. It's because women want to talk about their feelings and sometimes, as is the case with OP, ask for advice on how to relate to the idea of Hashem. You want us to shut up? That wouldn't be fair to us. There is a private forum for women whose husbands are struggling with Yiddishkeit, but none for women who are struggling themselves. Until there is one, we will have to open threads that are visible to everyone. Telling everyone who voices their feelings on this issue that they are just looking to stir things up is invalidating and hurtful.

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 6:43 pm

amother Feverfew wrote:

I feel for you ladies. This month means a lot of work and absent meaning, it might just seem like so much drudgery.

I don't think Yael would be thrilled to give you your own forum. It's one thing if people want support to deal with husbands when they're not on the same page. But presumably, they are with the program and believe. To give people unmoderated space to vent to each other (and maybe have some constructive conversations) to me doesn't seem to be part of her vision and not something her advisors would recommend hosting.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 7:02 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Side point but I actually love chagim. I enjoy the traditions and rituals, the time spent with family and friends.

amother

Pewter

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 7:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

I currently don’t feel any need to connect to or believe in G-d. I feel like my life is very full and busy and generally happy and I don’t see how believing in G-d will help it be better. I keep the basics and I’m fine with keeping those basics because I enjoy them and think they are good for me as a person. I don’t have a problem being “frum” but not believing. It feels fine to me. The only reason I see to believe and connect to G-d is if something bad happens, but I absolutely do not want to do it for that reason because that sounds like anxious thinking to me and I don’t want to connect to G-d just because I want something from him.
Anyways, I decided that I should really see if there are any very convincing arguments before I totally give up. Anyone have any really good books that explain why my life would be better if I believed in G-d?

I don’t think anyone can convince you to choose to want to believe.
I lived similarly for years, until I had a wake up call which led to a major turnaround. Let me tell you, there is nothing sweeter than the feeling of being a part of Hashems chosen nation, and having the privilege of keeping the Torah. Meditating and talking to Hashem daily is such a gift.
You say “believe”, but really it’s “knowing” that Hashem exists. Once you know you know.
I’ve read the Ramchal’s sefarim , Derech Hashem and Daas Tevunos.
Also read R’ Avgidor Miller’s history book series (Behold a people is one of them)
Meditated daily for months and months.
I can sit and cry for hours over the lost years of taking life for granted and not knowing Hashem.
So, again, no one can convince you to want to believe, but as a fellow sister I can tell you it’s worth it.

amother

Crocus ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 7:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

No I don’t feel empty at all. As I said my life is very full and I also have many other things I’m interested and passionate about. I’m very intellectual and read a ton of literature. I love travel and learning about different kinds of people. I’m super interested in history and philosophy. I love nature.
I just don’t really connect those things to God.

I think I always felt this way but would kind of delude myself when I was younger.

My parents are Chabad baal teshuvas who are very into connection with god and are mystified as to why I am not.
My husband knows and isn’t bothered by it. He feels somewhat similarly.

If you are intellectual and read a ton of literature, give our very own Tanya a chance.
Likutei Torah/Torah Ohr- have you ever learned the parsha of the week with these maamorim? They are mind blowingly inspirational.
Sichos in English has so many published sefarim, translated.
Our Rebbeim sacrificed so much to pass our heritage on to us. Let us not take it for granted. "Taste it and you will see the G-d is good."

amother

Cantaloupe

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 7:49 pm

OP, kudos to you for opening this thread and trying to seek help even though you seem to be indifferent. As someone whose husband is involved in both Kiruv Rechokim and Krovim and deals with many intellects such as yourself, trust me that you are not alone.

The way I see it and the way my husband guides people is that acknowledging and affirming G-d’s existence is the very basic premise of incorporating Him into your life, understanding His ways (at a human leve) and actually appreciating His existence. That may take reading several books or speaking to several knowledgeable people; both which may ultimately challenge you to be open to the fact that not all of your questions may be answered with logic because our human minds are extremely limited in understanding the concept of G-d. That may sound simple but this is actually an extremely difficult concept for many people to accept. Not everyone can go along accepting something that cannot be concretely proven. However, this very idea is often the framework needed in believing in the Higher Power to begin with. When we understand that we as humans can accept the fact that we simply cannot fathom the idea of a Supernatural Power creating everything in the world from the vast seas to the tiny atom, you and me included, it opens up the window for us to believe that such a Being can exist.

I’m not sure if that makes sense. I’d love to hear your feedback. Good luck on your journey and I hope you find the answers you are seeking.

amother

↑ Feverfew ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:52 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

I honestly love Yom Tov. I don't get spiritual connection from it but I love the tradition and the family time.

amother

↑ Jade ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 5:24 am

So it’s like the traditional Jews who’ll light the menorah and eat matzoh without real connection, it seems empty… I’d speak with a Rebetztin to best assist you!!!!

Yes there’s definitely room in our hearts for kiruv kerovim - but we can’t help you on a public forum- I’d even say it’s not appropriate to have this conversation on here!!!

A book recommendation is one thing not an entire atheist discussion there are other places for that.

This is a forum for frum women to help, discuss etc not to embrace apikorsus

Sorry if I’m sounding harsh.

amother

Lightcyan ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 6:08 am

Having a relationship with Hashem is about your neshamah yearning to connect with its Source and there's no pleasure greater than the taanug ruchni that that connection is, when you are zocheh to experience it. It's sad that you are feeling blocked, but your challenge is to work harder to clear away the blockages and make that connection. Because that's what this world is about - surmounting challenges.

Some of us need to work on our connection with Hashem in spite of being challenged, some of us in spite of being comfortable.

Whether the challenge of wealth and comfort or the challenge of poverty and suffering is more conducive to Avodos Hashem is an age-old argument and has even been debated by the great chassidishah rebbes in the 1800s when Napoleon who represented enlightenment and emancipation waged war against Russia who had a history of oppressing and isolating Jews. The Baal Hatanya considered the freedom and comfort that Napoleon represented to be an existential threat to yiddishkeit.

Historically, the days before the mabul brought people to a comfort zone that made them feel disconnected and no need for Hashem, which ultimately brought them to sink so low. After Hashem cleared and reset the world with the mabul, he introduced some more uncomfortable aspects into nature, like the changing seasons, and the need to work the soil, in order for people to feel a need to connect in their quest for divine assistance.

Challenging times bring us to strip down to what really counts, and reach for the essentials, much like when you need to go into a dark room to get something you rummage around for the one thing you're there to get, and it's clear to you that nothing else in that room is of importance to you right then.

The greater the difficulty the greater the reward. Because it is so much harder to find and seek out Hashem from the place you are b"h in, it will be so that much more precious and valuable when you do!

May you alway be zocheh to be in and to ace this nisoyon of osher.

amother

↑ Crocus ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 6:31 am

What bothers me about these threads are not the questions but the other posters who jump in to agree with the OP.
One person with questions is not the same as everyone else with questions, each one has a unique life story that contributed to their current situation and no two are alike. They shouldn't be conflated.
What I mean is that five people can be doubting Hashem but they are not the same, even if it sounds the same superficially.

To OP: the Tanya tells us specific things that lead to timtum halev vhamoach. Perhaps consider this.

amother

↑ Feverfew

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 7:10 am

PinkFridge wrote:

What would you like your kids to be doing when they're on their own?

Whatever they'd like. I don't think Yiddishkeit is immoral. I know there are those who do and I don't agree. Yes there are things that bother me historically ( Wiping out little children, eye for an eye, etc. and it bothered the chachamim too, which is why they said it means money) and currently (Presenting inyanim and minhag as halacha, not being as creative on aguna as other things, etc.) but overall I do believe my children can be raised in a frum society and come out as good people, and there are things about secular culture that do make me cringe.

That being said, if my daughters went off in a healthy way, finding their own path in a productive manner I would not be upset.

↑ PinkFridge

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 7:13 am

amother Feverfew wrote:

I'm not going to go into every objection you have. I'll just take an eye for an eye.
There are many mitzvos, like shechitah, that are barely alluded to and certainly not detailed in the Torah. That's because there is an Oral Torah, and to ensure that the Torah would be given over faithfully from generation to generation, the Written Torah is in fact somewhat cryptic. It's not like for centuries an eye for an eye was knocked out till some enlightened rabbis taught otherwise. Compensation was taught from Matan Torah.