$1.60 in my bank account

amother

Maple ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

Right exactly thanks for understanding.

We’ve discussed tomchei many times. He’s too well known in the community to be comfortable having someone drop it off by us and I haven’t figure out a way to pickup.

We get help already from the community programs.

I could run camps technically but it’s really not my forte. I just end up getting annoyed about a mess. It’s not my thing and as much as I want to do it, I have lots on my own plate with my own neurodivergent kids.

My grocery receipt- are you kidding me? My splurge was on $10 plastic cutlery for yom tov to enhance my simchas yom tov so I don’t have to wash then. Why do you think I don’t do the other things you mentioned? It’s really off putting you are assuming they because we are struggling I don’t know how to budget / save. Just because I’m poor doesn’t mean I lack life skills.

I’ve called the credit card company as per suggestion here all I got was, we can’t help you, pay your bill and that’s all. I never got any plans worked out.

Thanks for davening for us!

If you’re in Brooklyn, call eizer lmuzon. Their number is on the egg cartons. They’re tzaddikim.

amother

NeonBlue

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

Not sure if this is a possibility, but any way tomchei Shabbos could deliver to your ravs home? Then you could organize to covertly pick it up without anyone knowing.

amother

Coral ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:44 pm

amother Ginger wrote:

OP, I really feel bad for you and the situation you find yourself in.
Just not sure what you hope to gain from these posts.
In both this and your last thread, you did not take much advice from the posters, but answered them back with excuses and reasons why things can't change, and need to remain status quo.
What is your goal with these threads?
If it's for sympathy, then you've got mine!

Came here to say the same thing. OP, I get the sense you're here looking for cash not solutions. People have given you great ideas, even about selling your house, and your response is, but what about play dates? What about picking up food? No, can't do that at that time. Don't want to babysit because they'll mess up my house. I don't know. At some point you have to start helping yourself.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:49 pm

amother Coral wrote:

I mean moving house is huge. It’s not something to just do because things are tight.
I never said I was looking for solutions or cash. One of the things that most people don’t understand about being poor is that we have tried everything literally everything that makes sense.
Not everyone is cut out to babysit. I don’t handle my own kids well, why is it fair to add other people’s kids? (And the idea was a day camp which is older kids, babies are easier that was not mentioned- I would do that maybe, but I work out of the house already). I said I work a job and have 2 businesses. DH tried to have a business it didn’t take off. DH tried to ask for a raise they didn’t approve yet. Please tell me how we are not helping (trying to help) ourselves

amother

↑ Lily

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

Primarily by not taking tomchei, it’s a community resource that would take a huge weight off your shoulders and give your kids and family normal food and feeling of yt. It’s a built in way to support families so even when things are really bad food doesn’t become a crisis and it also frees up that money for other things like mortgage etc.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:55 pm

amother Lily wrote:

I explained this many many times. It was about DH not wanting it.
And then I made another post that DH did agree

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:55 pm

amother Lily wrote:

So all the other things I do/ have been doing don’t count?

amother

↑ Coral ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

He says it will get better eventually. (I started a business we hope it will take off, in addition to his raise). His plan is that sometimes we struggle and it won’t stay this way forever. CC are maxed out mostly. I pay the bills. I don’t get nervous much, I do a lot of work on my Emunah. It’s not as though we aren’t doing hishtadlus. We are trying, and if Hashem didn’t mean it for us now then this is in his hands. I’m not saying we shouldn’t work just saying my husband tried to start a business it failed he tried to ask for a raise no answer- that’s from Hashem, he tried. So I don’t really worry. I cry out to Hashem a lot, but worry not really. Electric was turned off he sort of moved on from that. He is an avoider by nature. But this post is not about him. I can’t change that. I can’t answer for him. I think he’s depressed because it’s hard to be a man who can’t provide for his family

Husband who just shrugs off your power being cut? Shrugs off no food on the table? I guess I'm really confused about your situations. Do either of you work FT and bring in FT salaries? If not, you need to get a job. I truly can't imagine letting my kids live with no food or electricity rather than get a job.

↑ Cheiny

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:57 pm

amother Coral wrote:

Agree. Again, no one should be offering anyone help without the recipient being verified and okayed by Yael.
There are scammers all around us. Sending anyone you don’t know gifts or cash is a very bad idea, even if their story sounds real. Remember, it’s very easy for anyone to come up with a tearjerker story. People shouldn’t be naive enough to believe everything they read…

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:57 pm

amother Coral wrote:

DH works full time he makes about 50k. a year. I work part time (due to childcare) and make about 15k.

amother

Forestgreen ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

So all the other things I do/ have been doing don’t count?

Of course your efforts count. But when you say "I did everything I can think of" and objective strangers point things out objectively- now of course it may not work for your situation but they're trying to open your eyes to new possible solutions- then you should take those leads too. At a certain point my husband can eat his pride and I will feed my children actual food.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:04 pm

amother Forestgreen wrote:

I did try them though. I called tomchei shabbos to see if we can pickup. I explored that possible solution. I already received the food pantries they suggested. We reached out to the rav and the other organization.
The only suggestions that I couldn’t follow were moving house, having tomchei dropped off and babysitting.
Someone suggested DH do sukka building which I will suggest to him. There were many good ideas I was opened to

amother

↑ Coral ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

You have tried literally everything "that makes sense," I.e. what's comfortable to you. I've been poor. I get it. I literally took experimental COVID vaccines because it paid cash, which I used for utilities. I'm not saying do this, but I am saying that before a few minutes ago, getting food for free "didn't make sense" because of your husband's pride. When we were low on cash I would have moved mountains for free boxes of kosher food. That doesn't exist where I live. Does he work? If not, he needs to forget about these failing businesses and get a job with a paycheck so your family can live! I think it's just frustrating for some of us to hear "I've done everything I can" when there's no clear sense of what you've done. And that may not have been the point of your post, but that wasn't clear, either.

Edit: Okay, your husband does work FT. Can he get a remote side hustle? My husband and I both work FT and both have remote side hustles. I don't love it but it's how we pay for tuition.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:07 pm

amother Coral wrote:

I also got my kids the Covid vaccine because they paid cash. But the tomchei was a shalom Bayis situation which would cause more harm if I touched it at that point.
Yes DH has a job, it doesn’t pay much but he gets up and goes to work daily and gets a consistent paycheck it’s only 50k a year though. And my work makes about 15k. So it’s too much for Medicaid for the adults and a bit too much for snap.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:11 pm

amother Coral wrote:

He tried a business and it didn’t take off. He’s burnt out and not sure what to try next but he’s thinking about what he should do