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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
amother
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 Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:06 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | In cleveland? I never get orders anyways so my kids would wonder what’s up, but it’s an idea |
No sorry not Cleveland. Seems each city works differently.
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chagru
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:07 pm
Hi op , I’m so sorry for this awful situation you find yourself in. Yt is stressful as it is, really feel for you to have this additional highly stressful situation. Can I send you some money or pay for groceries?
[mod note. Do not send money to amother unless verified by Yael. Thank you.]
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:09 pm
| amother OP wrote: | So Matan bsayser and tomchei seem connected. I spoke to matan about tomchei pickup, it would be at their house.
Yes b”h k get chesed center, next pickup is this week B”H.
Yes get food bank on green weekly. Very helpful B”H.
Don’t know about the library ones- you have info? |
https://cuyahogalibrary.org/mobile-pantry once a months at cuyahoga county s euclid branch 12-2 pm
https://events.heightslibrary......60930 Once A month at Lee Rd 5-7 pm
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:22 pm
I don’t want to be too specific publicly, because it’s supposed to be private and maybe I already said too much. Maybe we shouldn’t post the name?
Anyways I’ll check out these links thanks
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:25 pm
I'll delete name
But I don't think it's a secret that they are matan bsayser
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amother
Bronze
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:31 pm
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Maybe find out when tomchei Shabbos delivers Maybe it’s at a time your husband is generally at work. Or I wonder if your able to white lie and say someone anonymously from this site sent these things to you.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:36 pm
If speaking to a rav would possibly help you, could you speak to a different rav?
for example, Rabbi Hirschfeld will give it to your husband that he has an achrayus to make things easier and more comfortable for the family.
I once needed my dh to hear a similar message, and Rabbi Hirschfeld really shook him up. Because dh respects Rabbi Hirschfeld.
(I don't know if that would be good/bad for your husband.)
And there are so so many other rabbonim who are passionate and compassionate. We had a thread a while back here from someone from Cleveland who for whatever reason can't speak to her rabbi, and another poster and I were bringing up lots of great names.
If a different rav than your own can possibly help, then please post which neighborhood you'd be comfortable with speaking to, and we'll post ideas.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:47 pm
I really feel for you OP!
My bank account is negative $563, has been for a couple weeks and I’m getting notices it will be closed.. plus all my credit cards are maxed out
No idea how I’m going to survive this but davening for a miracle!
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amother
Tulip
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:51 pm
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I have more than you in my bank account, but that's because I didn't pay my mortgage yet this month and I maxed out 3 credit cards. We don't have money for the mortgage and don't know what to do about it. I don't think I ever had less than $300 in my bank account, but that's because of my credit card bills. I know what it feels like when money is tight. Unfortunately, I don't have any solutions.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:00 pm
OP, you said your husband tells you to put all charges on cc. How does he suggest to pay them? Wait until his raise? Will his raise be enough to pay off the cc debts??
You aren't making the mortgage monthly, cc bills are increasing, no money for food. Again, what's his plan?!
If he's this adamant, honestly, maybe follow his "advice". Keep on having your cc balance climbing. What balance will make him wake up? $10K? $100K? $1M?
What will happen when you max out the CC cards?
Doesn't he see your daily agmas nefesh and cares or you're putting a brave front for him?
Are you responsible to physically pay the bills or he is?
Would having him shop and then see cc bills make it real for him?
How about having kids ask him what's for supper?
Your electricity was turned off last month. What was his course of action?
It might be turned off again now. What will he do?
What will make him get it?? Maybe put the ball in his court and let HIM deal with all this?
Is he depressed and incapable of thinking things thru? Does he care about his kids and wife?
PS. from what you wrote in this thread, it sounds like you spent $100 on food, etc for RH. Not to be mean or unsympathetic,but to be very honest, spending $10 on plastic cutlery lekavod YT when you only had $100 and have zero money right after YT wasn't the smartest move. I absolutely understand having the need to have SOMETHING to feel like Yom tov. That $10 could have gone for supper this week or for succos.
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amother
Orange
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:31 pm
So sorry for what you're going through. The stress must feel like a chokehold. I'm in a similar position. Last Tuesday I had -120$ in the bank (We had some cash bh) and my son asked me to buy him markers for School.
I had to go home and get the cash because I couldn't use my debit card and on the way I got a call from the credit card company that we owe almost 20k.
It's so stressful when you have so much to do but can't do it because you don't have money.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:19 pm
| amother Heather wrote: | I really feel for you OP!
My bank account is negative $563, has been for a couple weeks and I’m getting notices it will be closed.. plus all my credit cards are maxed out
No idea how I’m going to survive this but davening for a miracle! |
Thank you for commiserating and I’m sorry that you’re struggling too.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:20 pm
| amother Tulip wrote: | | I have more than you in my bank account, but that's because I didn't pay my mortgage yet this month and I maxed out 3 credit cards. We don't have money for the mortgage and don't know what to do about it. I don't think I ever had less than $300 in my bank account, but that's because of my credit card bills. I know what it feels like when money is tight. Unfortunately, I don't have any solutions. |
Thanks for just listening and not trying to find solutions. Sometimes we’ve literally tried everything we can
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:23 pm
| amother Leaf wrote: | OP, you said your husband tells you to put all charges on cc. How does he suggest to pay them? Wait until his raise? Will his raise be enough to pay off the cc debts??
You aren't making the mortgage monthly, cc bills are increasing, no money for food. Again, what's his plan?!
If he's this adamant, honestly, maybe follow his "advice". Keep on having your cc balance climbing. What balance will make him wake up? $10K? $100K? $1M?
What will happen when you max out the CC cards?
Doesn't he see your daily agmas nefesh and cares or you're putting a brave front for him?
Are you responsible to physically pay the bills or he is?
Would having him shop and then see cc bills make it real for him?
How about having kids ask him what's for supper?
Your electricity was turned off last month. What was his course of action?
It might be turned off again now. What will he do?
What will make him get it?? Maybe put the ball in his court and let HIM deal with all this?
Is he depressed and incapable of thinking things thru? Does he care about his kids and wife?
PS. from what you wrote in this thread, it sounds like you spent $100 on food, etc for RH. Not to be mean or unsympathetic,but to be very honest, spending $10 on plastic cutlery lekavod YT when you only had $100 and have zero money right after YT wasn't the smartest move. I absolutely understand having the need to have SOMETHING to feel like Yom tov. That $10 could have gone for supper this week or for succos. |
Just about your last point, yes I can spend a small amount to make my yom tov easier. I believe that Hashem doesn’t cheshbon that money, and obviously I’m not spending outlandish. The impact that had on my yom tov (6 meals) is worth my simchas yom tov. And I don’t spend like this in general but $10 to make my yom tov easier is important. (And btw, the cutlery is not all used up I will have some left for Sukkos).
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:28 pm
| amother Leaf wrote: | OP, you said your husband tells you to put all charges on cc. How does he suggest to pay them? Wait until his raise? Will his raise be enough to pay off the cc debts??
You aren't making the mortgage monthly, cc bills are increasing, no money for food. Again, what's his plan?!
If he's this adamant, honestly, maybe follow his "advice". Keep on having your cc balance climbing. What balance will make him wake up? $10K? $100K? $1M?
What will happen when you max out the CC cards?
Doesn't he see your daily agmas nefesh and cares or you're putting a brave front for him?
Are you responsible to physically pay the bills or he is?
Would having him shop and then see cc bills make it real for him?
How about having kids ask him what's for supper?
Your electricity was turned off last month. What was his course of action?
It might be turned off again now. What will he do?
What will make him get it?? Maybe put the ball in his court and let HIM deal with all this?
Is he depressed and incapable of thinking things thru? Does he care about his kids and wife?
PS. from what you wrote in this thread, it sounds like you spent $100 on food, etc for RH. Not to be mean or unsympathetic,but to be very honest, spending $10 on plastic cutlery lekavod YT when you only had $100 and have zero money right after YT wasn't the smartest move. I absolutely understand having the need to have SOMETHING to feel like Yom tov. That $10 could have gone for supper this week or for succos. |
He says it will get better eventually. (I started a business we hope it will take off, in addition to his raise). His plan is that sometimes we struggle and it won’t stay this way forever. CC are maxed out mostly. I pay the bills. I don’t get nervous much, I do a lot of work on my Emunah. It’s not as though we aren’t doing hishtadlus. We are trying, and if Hashem didn’t mean it for us now then this is in his hands. I’m not saying we shouldn’t work just saying my husband tried to start a business it failed he tried to ask for a raise no answer- that’s from Hashem, he tried. So I don’t really worry. I cry out to Hashem a lot, but worry not really. Electric was turned off he sort of moved on from that. He is an avoider by nature. But this post is not about him. I can’t change that. I can’t answer for him. I think he’s depressed because it’s hard to be a man who can’t provide for his family
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Goldie613
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:38 pm
Odd thought - or maybe not so odd, I can't be the only one who has heard of this - do you have anything around your house that you can sell? I don't mean super special jewelry, but more like books, fancy clothes you're never going to wear again, a piece of furniture that has been laying around your basement, a bike the kids have outgrown - you get the idea. If you have a local online community message board (or equivalent) you may be able to post about these types of things and get some ready cash.
OP, whatever you do and however you handle things, I hope you have a wonderful chag :-)
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:40 pm
| Goldie613 wrote: | Odd thought - or maybe not so odd, I can't be the only one who has heard of this - do you have anything around your house that you can sell? I don't mean super special jewelry, but more like books, fancy clothes you're never going to wear again, a piece of furniture that has been laying around your basement, a bike the kids have outgrown - you get the idea. If you have a local online community message board (or equivalent) you may be able to post about these types of things and get some ready cash.
OP, whatever you do and however you handle things, I hope you have a wonderful chag :-) |
Thanks! I generally don’t like clutter so I try to move things quickly if they’re sitting around. Sometimes they sell sometimes they don’t, but honestly I wish I had more extra “junk” lol. I think about that sometimes that must be why people hold on to stuff because it actually can be worth something.
Thanks for the ideas!
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:41 pm
Ok big news, just had a convo with DH.
He says we can do tomchei shabbos for now.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:46 pm
I'm SOOOOOO HAPPY for you!!!!!
Make sure to tell dh that you really appreciate it.
That's what Tomchei Shabbos is here for- to help people in your situation.
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amother
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Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:59 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Ok big news, just had a convo with DH.
He says we can do tomchei shabbos for now. |
Great news! May it be the hishtadlus needed for your financial situation to improve!
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