$1.60 in my bank account

amother

↑ Stone ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks.
Yes I wish he would get over the shame but that’s his issue, I can’t force it.

I don’t think there is any way to downgrade our housing. Our mortgage is $1400 a month including escrow. Even rentals wouldn’t be much less than that. In terms of housing we aren’t gonna get much cheaper. We bought a few years ago when the housing was lower. And no we don’t need to stay here because of special education, but we aren’t gonna get cheaper anywhere now.

Let me flesh out what I mean a bit more.
You said you live in Cleveland. Lets say you live in Cleveland Heights on block with frum neighbors, and you can sell for around 300k.

You can move to something like this, which is still walking distance to that area, for 140k.
https://www.zillow.com/homedet.....zpid/

You use the money you made to pay off most of your mortgage, and you will be left with a monthly payment of a a few hundred dollars at most, if not be able to be mortgage free.

Yes, you are downgrading both location and house size, but imagine what not having a mortgage at all would do for your finances!

The reason I said something about moving, is it is possible that there are higher paying job opportunities/ better benefits somewhere else, I know cleveland is hard when it comes to jobs....

amother

NeonPink ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:04 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

Just wanted to send you a virtual hug!!! It's really difficult to go through this! Keep space in your mind, that Hashem can send you money and food even if in your wildest imagination you can't think of how He can pull it off. And He can do it without Tomchei Shabbos and without embarrassing you either.
Warmest Hugs and may you have an abundant year with lots of money and anything that you may need. May you look back at this as a little bump in the road!
Gmar Tov!

This reminds me of a powerful saying I once heard... 'No-one dies of starvation. But they do die from embarrassment.'

Signed: Your fellow sister who was in pain, but now receives Tomchei Shabbos and funds from the Kehilla Keren.

It was hard, very hard, to make the initial call..but BH we did.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:06 pm

amother NeonPink wrote:

Ty for this

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:10 pm

amother Stone wrote:

There is a way to do that and have same interest rate? Because our interest late is insanely low right now

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:11 pm

saltandvinegar wrote:

How old are your kids? I have a new pair of shoes that I would love to send you, size 25. My DC doesnt need them. They are grey and nice for everyday.

Thanks. My only one close to that size is my little one, age 3. She’s size 24 now I think, (us 7.5)

amother

↑ NeonPink ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s complicated. I can’t explain or I will put myself but the answer is sadly no.

I receive Tomchei.. It comes from the regular grocery/butcher with the same delivery guy. No-one, including my kids know it's not a regular order that I've paid for. It's the biggest chesed IMO.

amother

↑ Stone ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

There is a way to do that and have same interest rate? Because our interest late is insanely low right now

YES!

There is a kind of loan where they roll over the existing mortgage to the new property, and then you just apply however much of the profit into paying off the mortgage.

Chaim Rokowsky or Jay Becker should be able to help with this.

You obviously have closing costs on the mortgage and then the sale and purchase which will eat into your profit, but if you bought a few years back and move into something smaller a little more out, you should be able to make enough to pay off most of your mortgage.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:18 pm

amother NeonPink wrote:

I receive Tomchei.. It comes from the regular grocery/butcher with the same delivery guy. No-one, including my kids know it's not a regular order that I've paid for. It's the biggest chesed IMO.

I never get orders anyways so my kids would wonder what’s up, but it’s an idea

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:19 pm

amother Stone wrote:

Hmm, is it emotionally healthy for my kids to be so far from friends?

amother

↑ Stone ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:22 pm

amother Stone wrote:

I want to add that we did this recently and being mortgage free is a huge boost to our mental health. We know that no matter how bad things got we have a roof over our heads.
We also had enough to pay off some credit cards, and I can finally buy the basics we need and we are working on paying off the rest.

Sure we downgraded space and location but we really upgraded the rest of our lives.
Our kids are also much happier - I saved $2,500 from the sale and used it to diy some really good space saving furniture solutions so everyone still feels like they have there own space.

And know we can afford the clothing and basics they needed and the occasional treat and they feel the calm.

amother

↑ Stone ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

Hmm, is it emotionally healthy for my kids to be so far from friends?

I don't know your kids, but I think that cleveland has a skewed sense of location importance ( I have family there but I live somewhere else). Talk to your rav.

So yes, they will need to walk a bit more for friends and you will need to make more play dates. I find that making sure you have some really fun stuff in the house attracts friends.

I personally don't like the whole hanging out on the block hefkerness anyways, I much rather the supervised friends we invite over - I do make sure we have a friend over every day.

You can also look into south euclid where you can find similarly priced houses with more frum people around.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:30 pm

amother Stone wrote:

↑ Goldie613 ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:33 pm

OP, can you arrange to pick up the Tomche box from their distribution or packing site?

On an odd side note, if you or your husband volunteer as a driver for them, no one else will know if one of the boxes you pick up is your own. Even your kids won't know because you will essentially be coming home with a box of groceries (if you want you can even put the stuff in your own shopping bags).

amother

↑ Stone ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

I actually live pretty far out already (think south Euclid, not exactly) houses are not cheaper than what I paid. The only things cheaper would be even farther than I live now. I don’t want to get into specifics but I’m not close to much. And I don’t have that block hefkerness that you refer to. I don’t want to say more but we aren’t right in the middle of things

I hear.

The question is not how much cheaper the houses are - its if your place went up enough that downgrading will give you enough to pay off most of the mortgage.

My sister bought on Bendemeer for 150k a bunch of years ago. If she would move to that house I posted she would be able to have a profit of around 200k even though she is paying almost as much as her original house....

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:35 pm

Goldie613 wrote:

Being a driver is an interesting idea

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:36 pm

amother Stone wrote:

But would she move her kids so far away from their friends?

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 2:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

In cleveland? I never get orders anyways so my kids would wonder what’s up, but it’s an idea

Kids will be more concerned if you dont have food than how the food came. When I was a kid I didnt even know what tomchei shabbos was. Please accept the help you can have.