Adhd anxious child extremely challanging

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:04 pm

My 10 yo dc has been out of control lately. She's on meds for strep, they usually help but now it's been a week in and she's been absolutely batsh!t crazy for the last week+.
Shes been walking around yelling at everyone. Kicking and hitting her siblings. She even bit her older sister yesterday. Shes been instigating and starting fights with everyone. Older, younger all ages siblings Including the 2 year old, who she potched because she opened the freezer... stupid stuff like that.

And today I lost it. I potched her and I yelled in her ear like she's been doing all week.
I feel absolutely like the scum of the earth for doing that. I'm supposed to be the adult. Dh is fasting and not feeling great so he's checked out. It's day 5 of no school. It doesn't help that I'm also sick.
And I lost it. I completely lost myself in the frustrating, anger, helplessness and rage.
I told my dh that I think I need to just send her to live with someone who can actually raise her like she deserves.
(Yes we're all in therapy. Her becuase of ber issues and me because I need to survive this life, and my other kids for their challanges)
Why am I posting? I guess to get more tomatoes and rotten eggs thrown at me. I deserve it.
If I'm roasted enough I might actually want to live with myself. Cuz right now I want to run away and disappear.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:07 pm

The worst part? I grew up with extreme abuse. My mother would break items on My back from hitting me so hard. She pulled clumps of hair out of my head. She cursed me out and let me know what a horrible waste of space I am. And that I don't deserve anything.

I PROMISED I will NOT continue that cycle.

So much for promises.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:18 pm

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

Classic pandas. She should be on motrin and an antihistamine round the clock and I'd ask for at least 30 days of abx.

Many more alternative things to try and get her out of this flare if you're interested.

Been there. There's hope. Sending hugs.

Is there?
I'm sorry for being so cynical. But I have an older child who finally kicked the Pandas diagnosis after years of struggle.
I felt like things might actually be normal for a change. But now this. I don't know anything about hope.
Hope. Hope. Hope for things to get better. They get better and then they aren't better anymore. Is there truly hope?

I still shouldn't have done what I did.
I promised I wouldn't. And I hurt my child. If she is sick, that's EVEN WORSE!

and for the amother who asked about meds, no she's not. And with support she's been doing well. Some of my other kids are on meds. Different presentation.

amother

↑ Bluebonnet ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

Oh. It's so gut-wrenching.

My second kid is spiraling into pandas as we speak, just as my first panda is maybe, maybe finally turning a corner. I can't watch, and I'm so, so burnt out from trying to beat this beast. And I lose it at him all the time.

But motrin and zyrtec don't take much effort. And they'll give you your kid back really quickly. Just so you can catch your breath. Maybe till after Yom tov. And then you'll tackle it by it's horns.

amother

Dahlia

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:28 pm

Cut out sugar. Sounds like she has this issue over Yom tov, which is when kids often eat a lot of junk food. Be on top of her diet. Also please don’t give Motrin around the clock without guidance of a doctor there are many negative side effects like causing organ failure. I know people on here are obsessed with it but it’s dangerous and irresponsible.

amother

↑ Bluebonnet ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:37 pm

amother Dahlia wrote:

Dye free motrin twice a day with food for 2 weeks isn't dangerous and won't lead to organ failure. Saying this as someone who is very cautious about using any kind of pharmaceuticals.

There are natural options but they're not as easy and don't work as quickly.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:42 pm

Ugh. I know all tricks. The trouble started over a week ago. I got her swabbed for strep. I had to fight with the doctor that she's sick. She looked perfectly well. But of course it came back positive for strep. She's been acting nuts since. Nothing to so with junk food.
And she didn't have much over yom tov.

I know motrin and zyrtek. Unfortunately I know too well.......

amother

↑ Bluebonnet ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is she already on them and it's not helping?

Are you looking for other ideas?

I know you're beating yourself up now but the reason you reacted the way you did is because your child is acting in a way that isn't within normal limits. The only way forward here is to tame her brain. You can't expect yourself to deal with such abnormal behavior and keep cool.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:46 pm

Molly Weasley wrote:

What your mother did to you sounds like abuse.
Hitting a kid when necessary isn't abuse. You're not your mother.

Your 10 year old biting sounds like a problem.

Of course it was abuse.
I'm still surprised I survived with all my limbs intact.

But what I did was also abusive.
It wasn't just 1 potch obviously.

I do a tap/potch on the hand for chinuch every now and then.

This was proper smacking. And YELLING.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 4:01 pm

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

No. I appreciate your help. I really do.

I ended up pulling my husband out of bed and making him deal with her.
She told him I'm a crazy mother and I yelled and I hit her. Which she was right. I can't and won't deny that. He told her that I was at lost for how to get the point across to her that being physical hurts and how yelling is disturbing.
I'm not sure I agree with it. But eventually she calmed down. She's now off to go find some company.

I'll give her some motrin/zyrtec as soon as she comes back. I think I might have to change the abx for a stronger one.

And I really appreciate the compassion. I really don't have that in my life.
I can't even share with my friends. I don't think it's right for my children's privacy. My siblings is a whole other issue. So I'm left fighting mostly alone. I guess I'm not THAT terrible of a mother.

I just hope I can repair what I've damaged now.

I love my kids to death. They are literally my whole entire world. I don't shy away from hard work. I do what needs to be done. Physically and emotionally/mentally.
But when one of my children are hurting another of my children I cannot deal.

And today. I myself, with my own hands hurt my own child.

How do I even apologize?
Will she forgive me?

amother

↑ Bluebonnet ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 4:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

Apologize to her AFTER the motrin and zyrtec lol.

You'll both be OK.

↑ Molly Weasley

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 4:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Again, unless you're not telling us the whole story, it doesn't sound like abuse.

Losing your temper with a child is much different than occasionally giving a tap, and while losing one's temper is wrong and concerning if it happens often, it's not abuse.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 7:42 pm

So she came home. She had another insane crazy voilent meltdown. I'm all scratched up. (Luckily she's extremely petite so it's still not too hard to keep her and everyone safe)
I forced motrin down her throat. And it hasn't been more than 20 minutes she came out of her room a different child.
I can cry all day from this.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 7:43 pm

Molly Weasley wrote:

Of course I'm not telling you the whole entire story. And I don't need to.
I shared what was relevant to the current situation.

amother

Tulip

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 8:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

As a pandas mom myself... so sorry
Don't worry about being abusive. I've been there. We're all okay. Losing your cool isn't being abusive.

amother

↑ Bluebonnet ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 8:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

I call it motrin magic. Been there so many times. It's crazy to watch the transformation happen in front of your eyes.

Please keep giving it to her twice a day to keep the inflammation down. For her health, but also for your relationship.