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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur
amother
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Yesterday at 9:34 pm
I was surrounded by family members who just barely went to shofar, kept talking how the day is so long and boring and how can they occupy themselves (maybe a puzzle etc.)…
I kept thinking how the whole point of the day was just going over everyone’s head.
We’re not referring to those who were busy with childcare, house work etc.
How can one connect better with Rosh Hashana and the concept of the day? And should I have said anything?
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amother
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Yesterday at 9:36 pm
No, you shouldn't have said anything. Everyone has their own way of going about the day.
Yes, the day is long & boring & not everyone is able to daven all day long.
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amother
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Yesterday at 9:42 pm
amother Fuchsia wrote: | No, you shouldn't have said anything. Everyone has their own way of going about the day.
Yes, the day is long & boring & not everyone is able to daven all day long. |
No one needs to daven all day long.
It would be nice if everyone is in a healthy enough place to daven something.
Or read something inspiring.
Or have a discussion…
I do believe an adult that can’t bring themselves to daven at all on Rosh Hashana is not in a good place.
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amother
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Yesterday at 9:43 pm
amother OP wrote: | No one needs to daven all day long.
It would be nice if everyone is in a healthy enough place to daven something.
Or read something inspiring.
Or have a discussion…
I do believe an adult that can’t bring themselves to daven at all on Rosh Hashana is not in a good place. |
All this is none of your business. Just take care of yourself, you do the right thing, and don't worry about how others may or may not connect with the day. It doesn't effect you & it's not your concern.
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dena613
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Yesterday at 9:44 pm
Right. They are not in a good place.
If they are your spouse or child, that's really hard. What would make them happier and more connected? Do they need therapy?
If they are not your spouse or child, daven for them and stay out if it.
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amother
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Yesterday at 9:46 pm
amother Fuchsia wrote: | All this is none of your business. Just take care of yourself, you do the right thing, and don't worry about how others may or may not connect with the day. It doesn't affect you & it's not your concern. |
Then whose concern is it?
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amother
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Yesterday at 9:48 pm
dena613 wrote: | Right. They are not in a good place.
If they are your spouse or child, that's really hard. What would make them happier and more connected? Do they need therapy?
If they are not your spouse or child, daven for them and stay out if it. |
So do I speak about it? I basically tried to daven for them….
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dena613
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Yesterday at 9:51 pm
amother OP wrote: | So do I speak about it? I basically tried to daven for them…. |
Are you talking about a man or a woman?
Because men have a bigger chiyuv to daven.
I wouldn't talk to them about Rosh hashana and ruchniyus.
See what's upsetting them in their life, or bugging them. General schmoozing conversation
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amother
Blonde
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Yesterday at 10:10 pm
I have similar so I do what I have to do it's there choice in life yes I had a few tears in private but they are mature enough to choose what they want sending hugs from someone who understands
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amother
Amaryllis
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Yesterday at 11:03 pm
Model that which you feel and connect to
Being grateful you do
Daven for them
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amother
Babypink
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Yesterday at 11:57 pm
I’m sorry, but how old are you? This sounds like an 11 year old who doesn’t want to be in shul, not like a mature adult whose household is depending on her tefillos.
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amother
Alyssum
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Today at 12:02 am
amother Babypink wrote: | I’m sorry, but how old are you? This sounds like an 11 year old who doesn’t want to be in shul, not like a mature adult whose household is depending on her tefillos. |
Well yikes. That’s super nasty of you to say. It’s very hard for me to daven and connect through words that don’t mean anything to me and yes I get bored and was not looking forward to yuntif. Does that make me a bad person? That I want my family to fail? No it makes me human and you sound really judgmental
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amother
Wine
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Today at 1:07 am
amother Alyssum wrote: | Well yikes. That’s super nasty of you to say. It’s very hard for me to daven and connect through words that don’t mean anything to me and yes I get bored and was not looking forward to yuntif. Does that make me a bad person? That I want my family to fail? No it makes me human and you sound really judgmental |
I agree. For someone who already struggles with davening and shul, it's really hard to have days where the main thing to do is ... Daven in shul. It's a relief to have a baby this year and have a reason to come for shofar and then leave.
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amother
Oleander
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Today at 1:32 am
Feeling "connected" (as you call it), and daven is a blessing. It's not something that everyone feels so strongly and they're must not be something wrong with them.
I am a mother of a full family bh, having lots to ask for, I could have enough time to daven, if I want to, there is nothing "wrong" with me, and yet, I don't connect with formal davening. I don't feel anything if I do. (I don't see that those who davened and those who don't, have a different experience).
I am emotionally numb and don't feel connected. Though I do speak to Hashem constantly in my own words.
Am I (or are they) less than you because youre davening more? Unfortunately, absolutely not.
They could be holier when they act better than you. They might be less judgemental than you, have more Emuna and Bitochon, simchas Hachayim....
Their lack of formal tefillos, has nothing to do with you, and theres nothing wrong with them.
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