Calling experienced moms of teen boys

↑ imaima

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 5:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

What if the other kids complain that it isn’t fair that he gets a custom supper every night? Would you just make a custom supper for everyone? Make a rule of what’s an acceptable alternative? Also he will eat chicken (depending what kind, I try to have the type he prefers) if I don’t make tuna or eggs.

How do you make them?
I always make eggs or cans or tuna in the house. There is one dinner, whoever doesn’t like it can fix themselves something. Cooke an egg, mash canned tuna with mayo etc

zigi ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 5:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

I have picky eaters! Does that go away eventually when they get hungry enough? Or am I destined to be a specialty chef forever?

Give them a cook book and then they can learn to make the food that they want.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 5:58 pm

I do let him make his own tuna. Scrambled eggs is a bit more complex but he can mash a hard boiled egg. But he kvetches I should make it.

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 6:24 pm

If you give a teen boy dumbells he will ask for a treadmill.
If you give him a treadmill he will ask for a pushup bar
If you give him a pushup bar he will ask for a bench press
If you give him a bench press he will ask for barbells
If you give him barbells he will ask for a barbell rack
If you give him barbell racks he will ask for weight plates.
Then you will buy him safety spotters and mats for the floor
If you give your son a home gym he will use it nightly, when it's time to shower/go to sleep.

If you give your teen a home gym it's likely that it will take up half of your playroom.

It's also likely that your son will go away to yeshiva and not come home for months.

It's likely that your son will call you from yeshiva and ask for a gym membership

exaustedmom ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 6:29 pm

Lots of good food and a sense of humor. Also, even though they seem macho, never stop giving them a hug and a kiss. They need it, even when they pretend that they dont.

↑ keym

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 6:32 pm

exaustedmom wrote:

Lots of good food and a sense of humor. Also, even though they seem macho, never stop giving them a hug and a kiss. They need it, even when they pretend that they dont.

I keep on seeing this advice and I don't know. It rubs me wrong.

Maybe because my teen boys have explicitly said "Ma don't hug or kiss me". So I respect their autonomy and don't. I still touch them. Pat them on the shoulder or back, playful swatting, handshake, fist bump, high five

But I think a boy who doesn't want his mother to hug or kiss him and says so should not be hugged or kissed and his mother shouldn't say things like 'he needs it even if he pretends he doesn't '.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 6:48 pm

What are we thinking of screentime for tweens. We have a Nintendo switch that I control from my phone otherwise they’d be on it all afternoon. Until now I didn’t let them have it on regular weekdays only Fridays or off days or if I wasn’t home.
I’m rethinking that policy and considering letting them have an hour a day. Is this me giving in, or picking my battles?

↑ zigi

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 7:10 pm

amother Purple wrote:

This for us as well!!

Keep a lot of protein items in your freezer that you can pull out.
And cake.

Omg yes, I have burgers and sliders and hot dogs etc salami. Bh cake mixes are helpful too

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 7:39 pm

zigi wrote:

Omg yes, I have burgers and sliders and hot dogs etc salami. Bh cake mixes are helpful too

Can I freeze turkey roll? That would be helpful.

amother

Brown

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 8:52 pm

Hm.
You had me at this comment..

My boys start the new school yr in the new grade, as opposed to after sukkos - chassidish chedarim yet I dont allow my kids to own a Nintendo and play video games..

So my vote is zero screentime..

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 10:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

I have picky eaters! Does that go away eventually when they get hungry enough? Or am I destined to be a specialty chef forever?

My 18 year old is still as picky as ever 😬

↑ exaustedmom

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 11:15 pm

keym wrote:

I have bh got quite a few boys. We are not talking about kids who say dont hug me or kiss me. I said if they "pretend" he doesnt want it.

As mothers we know our kids. Some of my my most macho teens who resisted a little, now give me the biggest hugs. I give them space or just a peck and they eventially come to get it. They many times need it but they dont want to seem not macho. You gotta know your child.

amother

↑ Bergamot

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 11:22 pm

zigi wrote:

Omg yes, I have burgers and sliders and hot dogs etc salami. Bh cake mixes are helpful too

Poor "starving" guy was so pleased when I pulled out pastrami from freezer sliced and fried up dumped it on some buns. Littlies in pj's where all clamering for the scraps in pan.

amother

↑ IndianRed

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 12:18 am

amother OP wrote:

The strange part is that personality-wise he is the most similar to me of all my kids. But it’s the boyish parts of him that throw me. The aggression, the intensity, the need to constantly be doing something etc.

I don't intensity or boredom as boyish - it's a personality thing. I have boys who keep themselves busy and boys who are always bored, girls too.

The physical aggression is the equivalent of the girls being mean to each other. Get him a punch ball to take it out on.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 12:24 am

amother IndianRed wrote:

The way boys keep themselves busy, and what they do when they’re bored, is vastly different from girls. Ofcourse both genders can be bored or not but when boys are bored they destroy things, or kill each other, or both. Ditto for how they keep themselves busy.
It’s just a lot. Male intensity is just a different animal and not something I’m used to.

thegiver

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 3:00 am

My question is is it unloving to not feed them 4x what they think they need to eat? The cost adds up…

Also is it unloving to make boundaries that we don’t eat at 10pm? Eat an apple.

Not there yet. Just wondering. When I married my husband he would consume huge amounts of food and it was totally unnecessary. The human body doesn’t need that much. I would still give it to him out of love though.

Are these perceived needs necessary to be a loving parent? I also used to eat tons as a teenager and I think it fuels the animal inside the person. Like taayvos.