Hosting dilemma | Imamother

amother

↑ DarkViolet

Today at 1:16 pm

Op didn't respond about exactly what happened. I just want to say that I have no problem making my own yt And I normally do. I haven't gone to my in-laws in years. Every single time we said we'll go cuz we haven't gone in a while. Somehow people called after us and needed the better room, or couldn't make it for wtvr reasonable we were always told sorry but they need to come to us so you can't. I stopped asking a long time ago. It's not worth it. I was told twice on col hamoed not to come for second days because someone else needed to come and needs two rooms (3 kids) so that leaves me with one room for 7 ppl.
As much as I love being home and I usually am, it could be nice to spend time with other people on yt but when you're constantly being told last minute not to come, it's just not worth it anymore.

On the other hand, my parents always say yes and we've had some beautiful yt with most of us siblings there. Even if we squish it's really nice and fun.

As I set up thread I would never tell a child not to come if I can actually have them. Obviously there's a reason why they want to come to you even if they're married a bunch of yours. To have the other siblings and not them because they'll squish a little is just not nice. Especially if they never made yt before. Maybe there is something else going on or as op mentioned they really connect to a shul nearby.

You can definitely ask them to contribute but don't be that mother/mil whom makes them feel unwelcome.

And to all those ppl who are saying two weeks is to little to prepare....I haven't started at all and I am home with guests for some meals and a bunch of kids including a small baby. Just because I don't need more time to prepare, it doesn't mean they don't...maybe its daunting for them to start preparing two weeks in advance. Maybe op should send them some food if absolutely can't have them. Most important is don't ruin your relationship. It's not worth it.

↑ Chayalle

Today at 2:15 pm

Of course there's a reason why they want to come, but by a certain time in your life, whether it's when you are 7 people or married for 17 years or some other factors, it's time to put those reasons aside and create your own special memories and atmosphere in your own home for your family, especially if it's too much for your parent (which is a valid reason not to host you) or others will be squished (which may work for you, but possibly may be uncomfortable for everyone else) and you've had your turn.

It's about growing up and building your self as the person who will BEH marry off the children and host the couples till you get a little older and have to start scaling down....that's the cycle of life.