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Forum -> Working Women

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amother

OP ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 7:48 pm

Holidays come and it’s so depressing to just go work when it feels like should be home cooking and preparing for RH. Anyone relate?

amother

Forestgreen ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 7:50 pm

Yes. I hate being at work on erev yom tov until 3:00 while my kids are home.

amother

Cerulean ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 7:55 pm

Btdt. I finally put my foot down and left my office job. I cry for all the yiddishe mames that need to work erev yom tov, chol hamoed... It really breaks my heart

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 8:00 pm

amother Cerulean wrote:

Btdt. I finally put my foot down and left my office job. I cry for all the yiddishe mames that need to work erev yom tov, chol hamoed... It really breaks my heart

Put your foot down how? You don’t need to work?

amother

Geranium

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 8:08 pm

Totally. Unless I'm busy like mad at work, I think of all the things I could be doing at home and will have to do after work. But this only bothers me on Fridays and erev YT, not a few days before.

amother

Garnet

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 8:08 pm

We moved to israel. I now have off erev chag and I cook early so we go into yom tov after a beautiful family time.

amother

↑ Cerulean ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 4:04 am

amother OP wrote:

Put your foot down how? You don’t need to work?

I stopped working. No money but I'm living my dream of being a sahm

amother

↑ Forestgreen ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 4:10 am

amother Cerulean wrote:

I stopped working. No money but I'm living my dream of being a sahm

So how do you afford tuition, food, clothing etc

amother

Waterlily

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 4:14 am

I work but no money either lol. Tuitions, babysitting, food, mortgage... life

amother

Honey

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 4:21 am

Can you get a lot of takeout? I am not working right now and it is a lot to cook for three days. I can imagine that it be challenging for you. I say whatever you can buy to make your life easier you definitely should. I know my family prefers homemade but sometimes there’s no And you have to buy some

imaima

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 4:21 am

amother OP wrote:

Holidays come and it’s so depressing to just go work when it feels like should be home cooking and preparing for RH. Anyone relate?

Yes absolutely
Hate the regular grind with zero festive mood and my default foods because I have no time to try out recipes

amother

Watermelon

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 4:26 am

I feel like this, exactly!
I wish I could be just cooking and prepping but I have to work and there's so much to do and so little time because of that.
I end up rushing through everything and by the time the holiday comes I am exhausted and I wish I was less tired and got to enjoy it more.

groisamomma

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 4:37 am

I totally get you!! Those younger years were brutal on erev Y”T and Chol Hamoed. The unsolicited comments from clueless people didn’t help either. (You think I work on those days by choice? They certainly weren't offering to put food on my table!)

After many years of ripping myself in half, I called my MIL one hoshana rabah crying on my way home from work. That was a particularly hard year, because every Y”T was during the week so there was a Shabbos in between everything! I felt like I was running on a treadmill and couldn’t catch up. Every time I got back from Y”T days, I was catching up on what I missed, and then preparing for the next few missing days. That morning admin had popped in unannounced to observe my class and I finally lost it. I called MIL on my way home, and we tried to figure out theoretically what the missed days would cost me in no-pay days if I were to take off from erev sukkos until the last day. She offered to help us out for Pesach and that year I took off from the day before bedikas chometz until the last day. It changed EVERYTHING. Now, DH and I take the docked pay into account before the school year starts and we make sure to swing it somehow, so that I never have to work on erev Y”T again (unless I choose to now that my children are older). This can obviously only work if you’re tenured (or otherwise ensured that your job performance isn’t at risk). Somehow, every year Hashem sends us ways we can make up the money…

amother

Taupe

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 4:40 am

totally and completely relate
I'm going to daven harder for this
and I don't know either why noone talks about it
like let's normalize that its not 'business as usual'
there is a Yom Hadin coming up and than a Yom Kippur and than Zman Simchoseinu
Some years I feel like the outsider looking in

amother

↑ Cerulean

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 4:50 am

amother Waterlily wrote:

I work but no money either lol. Tuitions, babysitting, food, mortgage... life

We weren't making ends meet when I was working either. We asked daaS torah and he said to take a break from working . While I was on break we saw it was working out just like before so I never went back to work. Every post here is so relatable ... Like the outsider looking in.... I get such comments from people like duh you can't afford things if you dont work which is true but wish it was the olden days where the expectations for ladies were much less. Yes I know they washed laundry in the river and sewed and cooked from scratch but it was a labor of love. Sitting in a computer all day and buying take out for the family is not what majority of ladies enjoy . There are ladies who love 'getting out' - good for them ! They live in the perfect Era for that type of nature

amother

Sienna

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 4:54 am

I decided to take erev yom tov off.
I don’t work for a Jewish company.
I don’t take vacation during the year pretty much. Just yom tov. I’m lucky enough now to have days for yom tov and erev yom tov.

I’ve been doing this a long time. My game plan is I start way in advance. Like every Sunday night 2 months in advance I make ‘fun’ yom tov food. I also like there is no stress around yom tov. Even erev yom tov or chol hamoed I can enjoy my vacation and just pull meals from the freezer.
Because yom tov and chol hamoed are my vacation days I try to treat chol hamoed like a vacation.

amother

Cyan ↓

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 4:59 am

amother Honey wrote:

This is what I do. I do menu planning at work, cook ahead when I can, and supplement with takeout for labor intensive things like breaded chicken. Also this year for the 3 day yom tovim I planned some things I can make on Yom Tov (ex rice) to lessen the load and have fresher food. It's not the working part that I find tough -- it's the mad rush when I get home that makes things super hectic and rushed. It's tough.

amother

↑ Forestgreen

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 5:10 am

amother Honey wrote:

Honestly for me its not the cooking that's the challenge. I am organized and cook in advance. It's sitting at work on erev yom tov while my kids are home that makes my heart break. I wish I was with them. I read the threads of people complaining how annoying their kids are on erev yt and I wish I was home with mine.

amother

DarkGray

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 5:40 am

amother Forestgreen wrote:

This is it for me also. I cook in advance, if you are organzied it's doable. And I have some very very challenging kids.

But on Erev YT, it's crazy at home, even though dh is home with the kids. They just don't have the same structure as when I am home.
I do try to take off a little more now, even if I get docked.

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Sep 30 2024, 5:59 am

I’m working, cooking, and driving 4 hours to be with a child who has a job in the community and cannot come home for yontiff. I am the only driver. I’m also hosting Sukkos. It’s a lot, but I will make it work-by staying organized and not stressing over details that I can’t control. No need to feel sorry for me. My reward is bringing joy to my family and understanding that without my input, there would be no holiday. My mother did the same, and I am doing so willingly.

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