Note from Chasan to Kallah

amother

Blueberry

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 12:21 pm

After she gets married she may become a imamother and find out that her chosson's note was articulated here LOL

Cheiny

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 12:25 pm

mbaila wrote:

Hi everyone,
My son is about to gift his Kallah a set of Machzorim for Rosh Hashana and he asked me to help him with some ideas on what to include in his note or poem to his kallah.
Anyone's help is appreciated. Thanks and have a gut yor!

I really don’t agree with a bunch of strangers offering your son the words to say to his kallah. This is something that should come straight from him, his heart, his words. Imagine how she’d feel if she found out a bunch of strangers told him what to say, or that anyone else told him what to say, for that matter?

Bethany85

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 12:40 pm

amother Viola wrote:

Really?

How does it come from the heart if they barely know each other?

Its a really nice message but more suitable for couples who have been married a while and know their spouse on a deeper level.

A sweet nice generic message would be so nice.

I disagree with this. This is the time to express your excitement and the vision you have for your future together. The marriage that follows flows from that initial excitement. As long as the message is not suggestive, I'd say adding a little romantic spice to it is really sweet.

amother

NeonPurple

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 12:47 pm

Some people simply can’t put words on a paper. My dh never wrote me any notes or letter just very generic brachos. When we were engaged and even now married over a decade. He just can’t write, nothing to do with coming from the heart. He’s not articulate and has no clue how to even say soenthing mushy or sweet to me via letter or note. I used to get upset but it’s just not his thing.

gold2

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 10:58 pm

amother Jetblack wrote:

Sorry to sound harsh. But if he can’t find 2 sentences to put together to his bride he should just say Good YT.

Some bochurim may have had very little exposure to girls and are probably not the best communicators to begin with
Do bochurim write flowy heartfelt letters to each other? For the most part not.
So he wants to make her happy and is asking his mother help with what to write, so that she should be happy.
Just ask him what he wishes for her , she should have a beautiful yt her tefillos should be answered etc, and you can help him with the wording if he needs
Don't overthink it

B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 11:58 pm

amother Foxglove wrote:

He should write what a beautiful future he imagines together IYH with her and all the amazing hopes, dreams and aspirations they will accomplish together. I think that’s the sweetest most heart melting thing ever.

If he needs u to tell him that it's phony not heart melting.

amother

Mocha

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 12:11 am

When my daughter got engaged her friend offered her to copy all the gifts/letters that she sent to her chosson. She got it from someone else... I'm embarrassed to say my daughter ttlly took her up on it, my next daughter did same, my third is following closely. Kids today are unfortunately more artificial than in years past but BH I have seen up close the deep relationships that are built after marriage.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 12:16 am

amother Mocha wrote:

When my daughter got engaged her friend offered her to copy all the gifts/letters that she sent to her chosson. She got it from someone else... I'm embarrassed to say my daughter ttlly took her up on it, my next daughter did same, my third is following closely. Kids today are unfortunately more artificial than in years past, but BH I have seen up close the deep relationships that are built after marriage.

Yeah, soon it will be ChatGPT / AI sending the correspondences between all of us, Imamother too....

kangamom

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 4:23 am

Does he not have so much love and excitement? I think it should come from his heart and be natural. Even if it's four sentences. Who are we trying to impress?? If a man is old enough to marry, he shouldn't get help to write a romantic card to his future wife.

amother

Mintcream

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 10:20 am

amother Mocha wrote:

What a world we live in! I would not have wanted any friend to see the letters and notes I wrote to DH as a chosson. They felt so personal, even if not super mushy. This feels so off.

amother

↑ Salmon ↓

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 10:24 am

amother Mintcream wrote:

What a world we live in! I would not have wanted any friend to see the letters and notes I wrote to DH as a chosson. They felt so personal, even if not super mushy. This feels so off.

There's a difference btw mushy personal notes btw bride and groom, and sending a message because that's just what's accepted to send a written message with present....

amother

↑ Salmon

Thu, Sep 26 2024, 10:26 am

kangamom wrote:

..many frum chosen kallas don't "have so much love" it's something that develops as they live and spend life together. They do have excitement. But that doesn't mean they are good at letter writing. ..I don't think this particular chosen letter is meant to be the romantic one you are envisioning