Grocery store "etiquette"

amother

Goldenrod

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 7:25 pm

I've sort of done this....
I'm on food stamps and they only give us one card. Sometimes I don't realize/remember I don't have it (like if dh took it to buy something that day) till I'm waiting on line to pay. Then either I go on the phone to get my husband (which can somtimes take time - like if a child has to find him, or he doesn't have the card handy or is driving.... ) so I can still be on the phone while I'm unloading my cart (I then tell the cashier the number out loud when dh reads it to me, but a store is loud and busy and for a lot of people it can just look like I'm still talking on the phone or giving my phone number to pull up my account while still on the phone (and not that im giving my card info).... Or somtimes I scroll through my messages to find a picture I took of the card and that takes me a bunch of time as it's from a while back (so looks like I'm very busy on the phone when I'm ready to pay and talking to the cashier and looking on my phone in-between since I'm reading the number off to him...)

This doesn't happen so often, but once in awhile...

amother

Cadetblue

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 7:27 pm

amother Slateblue wrote:

And here I am hung up on the fact that there are people paying for groceries with a check in 2024. I had no idea that was still a thing!

Same!!! Can't remember the last time I wrote out a check.

amother

Cantaloupe

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 7:27 pm

The other day I was in the grocery when an older woman called. I picked up the phone because I knew the conversation would be mostly me listening to her talk. When I got to the checkout, she was still speaking. It was a sensitive topic and I think she would have been hurt if I would’ve hung up on her. I did not have the time to wait for her to finish talking before I checked out. As it was, she continued speaking for the entire drive home.
Normally, I like to say hello to the cashier and focus while I check out but I felt that all things considered, this was the correct decision under the circumstances.
I certainly hope that no one was judging me.
Op- maybe you should be dan lkaf zchus and then you wouldn’t get so irritated.

amother

NeonPink

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 7:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

What is so important that you need to be on the phone when checking out at the grocery store?
I'm waiting behind you while you unload your cart with one hand, ask the cashier to repeat his question 3 times, take forever to fill out your check because you're not focused, and I'm standing there waiting.
Can you not tell the person on the other line to hold on for a few minutes while you check out?
(I need to know what you're discussing.)

People still write checks?

amother

Black

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 7:33 pm

I didn't real replies so excuse me if I'm repeating.
Yes, it's rude to be on the phone while checking out. But not because it's slowing you down. Chances are the cashier isn't scamming as fast as you're putting your groceries on the counter anyway.
It's just rude because your standing in front of someone who is servicing you. Be a mensch and say please, thank you and answer him/her without them being made to feel that they are interrupting you.

amother

Olive

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 7:47 pm

Cheiny wrote:

Someone actually told me something that I imagine most people don’t realize… it’s halachically problematic to allow your child to eat something in the store until it is paid for.

I always pay for the stuff that my kids eat in the store. If my kids want to snack while I'm shopping, we first go to the snack aisle and pick the snack. Then I go either on line or to the self-checkout and pay for the snack. Then I'll continue with the rest of the shopping....

In regard to having a phone conversation, sometimes that's literally the only time I can talk on the phone. Usually I hang up when I get to the cashier but sometimes I don't. Happens to be. I don't shop in a busy store usually and there's usually nobody behind me online...

↑ Cheiny ↓

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 7:59 pm

amother Olive wrote:

Wow, amazing that you go pay first… it’s not so convenient to have to wait on lines twice… easier in stores that have self checkout.

amother

Indigo

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 8:02 pm

It’s worse when they have their phone on speaker!!!
I’m a physician and I can’t tell you how many times people will answer their phones while I’m speaking to them or examining them and the ones who won’t stop their conversations when I come into the room and I have to stand and wait for them. And no, I don’t make people wait an hour to see me. I pride myself on running on time. It’s just plain out rude.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 8:21 pm

I really don't want to be rude, and I'm not saying this in a bad way, I'm genuinely trying to figure out the "fine line" over here. ( I've been out of school a while...)
When did "being Dan lkaf zchus" become an excuse for being menchlicht and actually having manners?
It was a crazy time in the store, you have cranky kids, supper needs to be made( does this situation not sound familiar to people???)
And you have the lady in front of you shmoozing on the phone about whether "they had the blue or the green sweater and did you get both"
I get that some conversations are important, but I genuinely think that if the person pauses for a minute, she will see it actually takes quicker for her to unload the cart and pay with both hands, than to take the stuff out one by one and fiddle with the pen with one hand and hold the phone by her ear. She'll be in the car sooner if she just says "one minute I'm checking out now".
(Yes, you overhear peoples conversations at checkout)
And by the way, the grocery store I go to people pay with check all the time.

ittsamother ↓

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 8:48 pm

I agree that people should not leave empty carts online while they shop (the one exception being they filled their cart, are on line to pay, still have 2 more people ahead of them, and suddenly remember literally one item they forgot so they race to get it and fly back to their cart before the line even moves an inch. No, I don't think people have to lose their spot on line for that, we can be gracious in a situation like that.)

But I see zero issue with someone waiting with the cart on line while someone else is shopping. They're giving up their time, waiting with the cart, they can check out when it's their turn if the other person isn't back yet, to get upset about "how dare they finish in the store faster than me when there's two of them and one of me" is just being petty and unreasonable.

↑ ittsamother ↓

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 8:50 pm

I also agree that even if a shopping trip is some people's only time to shmooze, it cannot come at the expense of others. Be aware of your surroundings, don't block others, and don't make checkout take longer while you have an unrelated conversation. Pause the conversation for 30 seconds, finish checking out, then talk as long as you want.

amother

Hosta

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 10:09 pm

I hear you OP.
Honestly there are those calls though, recently the board of ed called me to discuss my child. That was not planned, it was important, and I was in a public loud place. I wasn’t going to tell her to hang on while I paid (tho that wasn’t the situation but I wouldn’t have). Sometimes these things come up.

B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 10:51 pm

PSA - I learned from a very classy, educated woman who works with medical transplants that its proper to say (even in an emergency) " I'm at the cashier, I will call you back in 3 minutes" (you can add bli neder or bezras Hashem).
Otherwise, you are distracted by your purchases (nothing more upsetting than finding that the cashier forgot the ketchup was on sale and charged your full price) and not giving the caller your full attention either.
Whoever it is will understand and wait the 3 minutes, hopefully regroup etc.
If its such an emergency then have the customer after you go ahead of you while you finish giving CPR instructions.

amother

Steelblue ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 12:41 am

amother OP wrote:

Nasty?? To ask someone to be mindful of someone elses time?
Would you be ok with waiting an extra 5 minutes in line, With kids and rushing to get home? Is it so hard to say I need a minute to unload my cart and pay....
Stroll up and down the aisles talking all you want, but when it comes to checkout am I really asking too much for you to pause the convo?

I am often on long lines and yes if I have to be on the phone I won't hang up to wait on line for 20 minutes. I have alot of doctors, I have a business and have to take calls, kids therapists, etc. and I try to be mindful during checkout but no it's not your issue, maybe you should learn to be one minute more patient especially since you don't seem to understand how busy others are, I'm sure you have the extra minute to wait.

amother

↑ Steelblue

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 12:43 am

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 12:53 am

amother Steelblue wrote:

Reread that please.