Is it normal for a teacher to ask students individually

amother

Tangerine

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 5:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

DD told me that apparently her teacher is asking girls.
I told the principal and she didn't think it was so concerning, which is why I'm asking here.

I agree with those saying this needs more context. I could imagine one or two girls told your DD the teacher asked them, but didn't tell her they were in pain from cramps like some posters were suggesting. Hopefully it was something like that and not just randomly asking girls. Are you comfortable calling the teacher and asking her?

amother

Cinnamon

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 5:50 pm

I teach middle school. I don't ask them straight out, but I do tell them at the beginning of the year that if they need to leave class for more than 10 min, I need to know where they are, and I'll ask "are you ok?" If they're out a while. This is the policy to cut down on hallway wandering under the excuse of a bathroom break. But effectively I sometimes end up hearing about their periods.

amother

↑ Lily ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 6:37 pm

amother Ruby wrote:

Quote:

Besides for the terrible inappropriateness very often 6th graders do not know about a period yet.. some 6th graders are still 10 at this time of the year

I believe 6th grade is bas mitzvah year. Girls are 11 turning 12.

I just spoke to my 5th grader about this. I would not want any teacher asking her. We discussed it's something personal and private.

I was 10 at this time in 6th grade, I got my period at the end of 7th grade
I didn’t know anything about periods until mid 7th grade
Why should a girl that’s not there yet know about it? Definitely don’t take a chance if it’s a risk, but you can figure out about when to expect the period based on the development

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 6:40 pm

My DD is 10 and in 6th grade. She knows about periods. But omg no it is not ok for the teacher to ask!!

amother

Impatiens

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 7:57 pm

Omg no! Please don’t ask at all not individually not anonymously not collectively nothing don’t ask don’t discuss.

amother

Gold

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 8:57 pm

amother Lily wrote:

Because if you don’t tell your dd by 5-6th grade odds are she’ll find out from friends. And girls are getting their periods younger these days.

amother

↑ Plum

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 9:01 pm

The answer, Lily, is that you cannot know when it will happen, and you don't want your dd to go into full panic mode and think she's been somehow wounded and bleeding to death when it does. Keeping her ignorant belongs in the Dark Ages, right next to not explaining the mechanics of the marital act before your dd gets married and expecting her to find out on her wedding night.

CPenzias ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 9:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

DD told me that apparently her teacher is asking girls.
I told the principal and she didn't think it was so concerning, which is why I'm asking here.

Oh he!! No! The principal is a moron if she doesn't think it's a problem. Can we ask if she's pregnant or went to mikvah recently? No. Because it's personal and none of our business. Just like your daughters menstruation cycle is none of hers!

↑ CPenzias

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 9:15 pm

amother Catmint wrote:

I worked as a nurse in camp, and sometimes, if a girl was having stomach pain/cramps, I would ask if they were currently on their period. I did that because I wanted to know how to treat it - I'd treat period cramps differently than constipation, for example.

But stam to ask all the girls - completely inappropriate.

There may be more to the story. But if there isn't, I'd call the principal again.

A nurse who can help and is a medical professional vs a teacher who is yenting are so different. I've taught kids that age and never even thought of them as having their period or not unless they specifically said something to me.

amother

↑ Lily

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 12:22 pm

amother Plum wrote:

We don’t have girls so you’re right I don’t know how things work today.. I was in 6th almost 20 years ago 😉

B'Syata D'Shmya

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 12:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

DD told me that apparently her teacher is asking girls.
I told the principal and she didn't think it was so concerning, which is why I'm asking here.

Nope, not normal for teacher to ask. School nurse maybe (and just maybe), but not teacher or principal. Is there a Vaad you can turn to to anonymously inform?
We dont need another Malka L....

amother

Lightcoral

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 12:32 pm

amother Blueberry wrote:

If a girl is completely undeveloped, it's not really a risk...

This is a complete myth.
My daughter was flat, no hair, etc...went for a well-visit at the doctor who said she has at least another year till her period.
She got it that afternoon, on a school trip, totally unprepared.

amother

NeonPurple

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 12:51 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

My mother and older sisters all got their periods at 14 or 15. I had no underarm or pubic hair and no breast development as an 10 year old but my mother made sure I knew what my period was anyways and she was very wise to do so because I was the first girl in my family to get my period at 11.

This post is right - it’s 100% a myth. Tell your girls early, even if they look like they’re not developing ant all.

Was your daughter okay?! I feel so bad for her.

amother

Seashell

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 1:17 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

I was the same and got my period at age 11.5.

amother

Valerian

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 3:06 pm

Not normal. Talk to the teacher, talk to the principal, talk to the other moms, talk to the guidance counselor or grade advisor or whoever.

amother

Mustard

Tue, Sep 24 2024, 3:11 pm

It's not normal at all, it's very weird. I'd be super curious to hear the teacher explain her rational.