Son's career choices

↑ Success10

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 10:47 am

amother Olive wrote:

This is the weirdest thread of all time.
I will say it straight out, OP if this is not a joke and you are serious, yes you are crazy and it is a bizarre way to think. This is way more than being a first time mother. In case you don't know, all experienced moms were once first time mothers too and NOT ONE OF US every thought this way.
You don't sound so normal honestly. Please get help.
(I still hope it's a joke/satire)

If she is serious, and she is suffering from anxiety, this isn't such a nice way to speak. I would consider revising your post.

↑ ittsamother

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 10:50 am

I agree. If this is a joke, she gets by now that we get the joke. If it's not a joke, and this is a real anxiety she is struggling with, people are being very hurtful and rude over it.

amother

Coffee

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 10:53 am

On the chance that you are not joking OP, I apologize for all those people calling you crazy. I happen to think that you are very much out of touch with children and the way their minds work. It would benefit you to take a parenting or child psychology class to understand that at 4 years old children are very much using their imaginations and it's great to let them play and make believe, that is how they grow into adults. This phase is fun and imaginary and it is not any indication of what that person will be when they grow up.
OTOH I have a 25-year-old son who still has no idea what he wants to be, I tried to convince him to go into Construction but he doesn't want to lol!

giselle

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 11:40 am

I hope I’m not being played, because this does read like satire, but you seem sincere OP. So I’ll respond sincerely. If the joke’s on me, then I guess I’m in good company with the other posters taking you seriously!

Your concerns are not typical of a young first time mother. And I would definitely recommend bringing it up with your therapists. But I do see parents of older children trying to control their kids and it’s a recipe for disaster. The good news is, you’re getting all this great advice when your child is still young, and hopefully you’ll take it to heart and learn to accept your child however he turns out. The biggest gift I ever gave my children was giving them the space to be themselves and BH they have been thriving. As a side point, I’d be a lot more weirded out by a 4 year old who wants to be an accountant or a lawyer unless that his father’s profession. Which four year old even heard of these careers? The average four year old girl wants to be a princess. Should we be concerned that they’re delusional for having such unrealistic dreams?

amother

Stonewash

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 11:51 am

OP, I hate that you're being dumped on once you said you struggle with anxiety. I'm just wondering if you've ever been tested for a neurodivergence like ASD? It's not usual for a neurotypical person to take a 4yo's statements literally. People with ASD also typically struggle with anxiety. I raise that not because I think your anxiety is an indicator of ASD. It's more that your expectations about 4yos is unusual, and women tend to be better at masking ASD and can therefore go undiagnosed. So if all that stands out is the anxiety, you might get that diagnosis and miss the ASD altogether.

Debbie

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 12:15 pm

OP I don't know if you are serious or not, but I will assume that you are and want reassurance.
Please don't worry too much about your four year olds future career choices; I grew up in a secular home and after watching 'The Sound Of Music' I decided I wanted to be a nun.
My mother put a stop to that idea, and years later I became frum and ended up working in childcare before moving on to help my husband with his accountancy business.
Even if your son does go into construction, it's an honest living and nothing to be looked down on.

↑ essie14

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 12:19 pm

Debbie wrote:

Love that!

amother

Lightgreen

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 12:47 pm

I also thought this was a joke.
But op on the chance that you are serious....
I'm going to guess that you did not grow up around children.
Kids brains are very different than adults brains.

imasinger

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 1:57 pm

I take this post at face value.

I wonder if OP might be a BT or giyores, and also have parents who were not ideal role models in terms of how to treat children.

OP, children are best influenced by our enthusiasm and support, rather than by making their lives overly strict (which usually backfires). Perhaps consider an age appropriate book on construction, as well as a truck? That way, you take his interest, trucks, and combine it with the direction you'd like to see him go, which includes reading and learning.

Think about other ways to use his interests in order to play up your priorities. It's a great way to guide without forcing.

It would probably be helpful to talk with people IRL who can give you guidance about children. It's helpful to have several people to talk to about such things, in addition to your therapist.

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 2:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

To all those people asking if I'm joking, am I really that crazy?

I know this isn't the end of the world. Even if he grows up to be a construction worker, that's okay. It's not my dream but it's okay.

I have a bit of anxiety about this. I'm just checking if I'm normal. If he's normal. If there's anything I should be doing differently. Is this really such a crazy question to ask?

I think the question is not crazy but shows little understanding of child development. You may find it very helpful to learn about child development and whats appropriate in each stage. It can then help you with your anxiety, and it will also help you parent your children.