Babysitting during shul for yomim noraim

kangamom

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 7:22 am

What is normal in your community/shul to do with the young kids during davening? Please don't tell me to watch them all day myself as I'm not able to. Do you take turns babysitting eachother's kids with one or 2 friends? Do you hire non jewish babysitters? Shul provide babysitting? Share babysitting with a relative?

Elfrida

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 7:35 am

I know some people pair up with a neighbour, so one goes to shul while the other one stays home with the children, and second day they switch.

balance ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 7:39 am

Why does it matter what the norm is?
You have listed all the options, now choose what works for you.

I daven netz and come home after Shacharis then my husband goes to the regular minyan and I'm home with the kids. But that likely isn't an option for you so it isn't relevant.

ShishKabob ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 7:42 am

I'm sure I'll get tomatoes for this, but to me hiring a non jew to babysit your kids on Rosh Hashonoh just doesn't align with the spirit of the day. There's nothing more holy than a mother taking care of her children. Who remembers the story of Reb Levi Yitzchok M'Bardichev?

We would sometimes pair up with a neighbor and take turns davening.
Ksiva Vchasima Tova

Brit in Israel ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 7:46 am

The normal is what you don't want to hear.

What we do is DH davens at neitz minyan which finishes around 11.15/30.
11.50 is the start of musaf for the regular minyan and I go for that.

Women have no Mitzva to daven in shul if they have young kids.

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 8:07 am

ShishKabob wrote:

I don't see a problem to hire someone to babysit. Mothers are also human beings. So it's 100% fine for mommy to stay at home and daven with the kids around but is it uplifting? Not really.

↑ balance

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 8:17 am

ShishKabob wrote:

I can't like this enough.
There are many ways of davening. One of them is by playing lego. I remember one notable year where my tefila was "Hashem, you see even on Rosh Hashana my kids need me around the clock. Give me a good year for them."

Biggest zechus that there is.
But it's hard.

watergirl

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 8:39 am

Brit in Israel wrote:

We did this for years because my husband davens neitz every day of the year, so it was normal for him. When we moved to a community with babysitting at shul, we tried that, but my kids really just preferred the old system.

tulip3 ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 8:46 am

ShishKabob wrote:

So it's still holy if another mother watches your kids who happen to be Jewish? If it's the best and holiest for a mother to watch her own kids then outsourcing it, no matter who the person is, should not align with the spirit of the day according to you.

OOTforlife

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 9:20 am

Our shul provides non-Jewish babysitters to watch toddlers. For older children, they have their own services, with stories and activities that follow the davening, led by Jewish staff and separated by age.

imaima

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 10:47 am

Brit in Israel wrote:

This
I don’t get it. There is no option not to watch your kids. If they leave you time to daven, you daven.

Blessing1 ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 10:54 am

kangamom wrote:

Normal is for mothers of young children to stay home with them on yom tov. Our tafkid at this stage in life, is to care for our children & daven at home.

tichellady ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 11:31 am

ShishKabob wrote:

Don’t agree. Most of us don’t see an issue with a loving adult watching our children most days of the year so suddenly on rosh hashana we should feel bad about it?
Our shul has childcare and I also sometimes hire some, without any guilt. I think if we were really only supposed to focus on our children we wouldn’t be obligated to hear shofar or to Daven

↑ tichellady ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 11:33 am

Blessing1 wrote:

Normal is for mothers of young children to stay home with them on yom tov. Our tafkid at this stage in life, is to care for our children & daven at home.

I don’t believe my tafkid is to always be with my children. I think this is a totally made up and potentially dangerous idea

↑ Blessing1 ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 11:35 am

tichellady wrote:

I don’t believe my tafkid is to always be with my children. I think this is a totally made up and potentially dangerous idea

No, we don't have to always be with our children, but there's a time and place for everything. Women have no chiyuv to go to shul to daven.

↑ ShishKabob ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 11:42 am

tichellady wrote:

The truth is that women are not really obligated to hear the shofar if I remember correctly, we women, accepted this upon ourselves.

shabbatiscoming ↓

Mon, Sep 23 2024, 11:43 am

Blessing1 wrote:

No, we don't have to always be with our children, but there's a time and place for everything. Women have no chiyuv to go to shul to daven.

Just because there is no chiyuv for a woman does not mean she cant daven in shul. Many women still want to take part in davening in shul on the yomim noraim.

Growing up, the shul hired non jewish teens as the local public school was closed as there were a lot of jewish teens that went.

Nothing wrong if thats what some mothers want to do. And our women's section was FULL.