Son's career choices

amother

Beige

Yesterday at 8:25 pm

This reminds me a bit of my husband who suffers from OCD. There was a time when he didn't want my daughters, aged 2 and under, playing with toys or dolls, only Alef-Beis and the like, so that they would learn the whole Torah by the time they grew up.

Give your kid a variety of toys and let him choose what to play. Teach him Alef Beis because it's a mitzva to teach your kids Torah, but don't indoctrinate him to fit in the little box you have created for his future. It is not up to us.

And let him be a kid.

amother

Dimgray

Yesterday at 8:26 pm

OP, I think this is your anxiety speaking. It's probably a good idea to explore this in therapy. There is a healthy balance between trying to guide your child and panicking about the possibility that he may choose differently. This is also showing that you don't have an idea of what is age appropriate for a child to be interested in, maybe it would help to have some parenting mentors in real life to help answer these for you.

On a lighter note, my oldest son said he'd going to work a half hour a day as a construction worker so he can sit and learn Torah the rest of the day and become a Rav (his tatty is a Rav, and he wants to be his Tatty but also loves construction). I didn't have the heart to tell him w half hour a day isn't going to cut it.
My next son is 4 and he wants to be a mommy and a police man. He is a Mama's boy after all

amother

Valerian

Yesterday at 8:50 pm

When my son was four he wanted to be a forklift driver. When he was five he wanted to be a policeman. Now at six he wants to be a police chief. What will he actually grow up to be? Only Hash-m knows! But I strongly doubt it will be anything DS chooses at such a young age.

OP, let your son play with trucks and whatever other toys he enjoys. If it makes you feel better, then have an aleph beis puzzle and menchies available too. Read him a book every night at bedtime.

amother

Cobalt

Yesterday at 9:14 pm

amother Lightcyan wrote:

My 4 year old wants to be a dog when he grows up. Not much money there either Very Happy

My 3yo dd has her heart set on being a fire doggie when she grows up.
She already has the fire truck so I guess she's halfway there?
Maybe our kids can partner, they'll support each other LOL

amother

Honeydew

Yesterday at 9:17 pm

Assuming this is legit
Please get a frame of reference from parenting expert older parents preschool teachers etc
It can be a strep learning curve with your first
Good for you for reaching out
Hugs and hatzlocha

amother

Heather

Yesterday at 9:18 pm

When I was 4, I wanted to be a truck driver. I moved through a handful of other ideas over the years lol.

Working in construction or being a general contractor etc is a great job. If he ends up wanting to work in that, he should be able to make a good living and be kovea itim.

amother

Diamond

Today at 12:49 am

OP, don't take this too seriously. Four-year-olds have zero concept of a real career. He's just sharing a feeling, "I think construction is really neat." He's not making a calculated decision in any way.

Honestly, don't take some things teens say too seriously either. They generally are not making mature, rational decisions, they are sharing their feelings with you. And there is nothing wrong with thinking construction is fascinating, I agree!

essie14

Today at 1:37 am

I've never met a 4 year old who has their life path set out for them.
This is anxiety speaking.
OP, please take some parenting classes.
You cannot micromanage your children's lives, not when they're 4, not when they're 14, not when they're 24, and not when they're 44.
You need to learn to accept this NOW before you alienate your children.
Your job as a mother is to nurture all of your children's interests and allow them to learn and grow and make their own decisions.

amother

Chestnut

Today at 1:57 am

My brother used to insist that he would be a pizza man when he was little - a nice bunch of years.

My mother always used to tell him, if when your big you decide to be a pizza man, you will be the best pizza man in the whole wide world!

Today he is married and a huge masmid - being positive and supportive is your job as a mother. He will have his own journey in life and make his own choices. Our job as parents is not to create mini us who validate what we think is right or best- it is to love and nurture and teach and guide them on THERE journey to be the best ovdei hashem possible.

Side point - the contractors, electricians, plumbers, and builders in my life are making a LOT more money then the accountants or medical professionals ( besides for the surgeons, but that is a really tough path to go after if you don't jump in right away post high school and do a few years in yeshiva).

On a ruchniyus level, I see less issues in those professions then I do in the fancy lawyers and accountants in Manhattan firms.

Elfrida

Today at 5:09 am

essie14 wrote:

I've never met a 4 year old who has their life path set out for them.

I can't vouch for the truth of it, but I heard this story about Princes William and Harry.

When they were little, William announced one day that when he grew up, he wanted to be a fireman. Harry turned round, and told him, 'When you grow up, you've got to be King!'

But I agree, most children have more choice than that.

amother

Garnet

Today at 5:47 am

My daughter wanted to be a unicorn keeper when she was 4. Not when she grew up, right then and there! She even believed she could communicate with them.
I should have hid all the unicorn dolls and pjs. What was I thinking?

amother

Maple

Today at 5:55 am

I’m guessing that the OP knew that us Israel are having a really hard time these days and could use a little bit of comic relief and not too many peoples expense. I give her a lot of credit for figuring out something that would be funny that we would all realize it pretty quickly.