Thoughts on eternity band

amother

Almond

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 4:03 am

amother Salmon wrote:

My very personal opinion is that it’s ridiculous how every kollel wife after her first baby gets an eternity band. Real or not.
I would ever wear one until I’m like 40. I think it looks ridiculous but everyone gets them so it’s the new normal

Same. Married for almost 5 yrs and still would feel weird getting something (real or fake) that my mother still never got, and my grandmother got for her 50th anniversary.

chanatron1000 ↓

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 4:13 am

amother Chicory wrote:

Real diamonds have resale value vs lab grown diamonds that do not

While natural diamonds do have more resale value than lab grown diamonds do, it's still not worth buying diamonds at all if the resale value is your main consideration. Plain gold is a better investment. Diamonds are for sparkle, and lab diamonds sparkle just fine.

amother

↑ Currant

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 6:19 am

s1 wrote:

This thread is making me cry 😢

Same.
When I see young kollel wives checking out at the grocery it never occurred to me to check (and judge!) what’s on their fingers.
You’d think the people here are the ones running around collecting money for all the world’s eternity bands.

Only therapy is a worthwhile expense on this site (as long as you go without an eternity band).

I think everyone here should learn to live and let live.

amother

↑ DarkOrange ↓

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 7:30 am

chanatron1000 wrote:

Someone recently told me this. She bought diamond earrings a few years ago. Paid between 7-8k. She wanted to trade it in. All she can get is $3000.

This is what I posted earlier.

kenz ↓

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 7:35 am

amother Skyblue wrote:

If I saw a brand new young kollel wife with an eternity band pushing a brand new baby in a stroller I would assume its a knockoff from Ali or CZ. Why would I assume a kollel couple can buy 10K worth or diamonds at the age of 21?

I wouldn’t assume it’s anything because I wouldn’t think twice about it. What do I care what anyone else is wearing, regardless of their age or lifestyle choice, unless they’re asking me to fund it? Then I’d have a right to question. Otherwise it’s none of my business.

↑ s1 ↓

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:05 am

amother Currant wrote:

I agree in live and let live.
The only thing I've ever owned worth more than £1000 is my engagement ring.
If you have the money, then enjoy it in whatever way you want, I know you are giving maaser money too.
What upsets me is the fact that this is normal for a kollel wife. That peer pressure and societal expectations and norms make it normal for people to spend this amount of money, when they are getting supported by others for their husbands Torah learning. That people don't have the sense to save money when they have extra, to use for tuition and bar mitzvahs and weddings and mortgages later on.
A kollel lifestyle (I've always thought, and yes I lived it for around 5 years) means prioritising ruchniyus over gashmiyus, living simply in order to allow the husband to earn minimal amounts while sitting and learning day and night.
I'm sad that this is not what it seems to be any more.

amother

Amber

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:09 am

I get you op. I recently got lab stud earrings. It’s something I’ve always wanted and when lab became popular I asked my husband to buy me those as why waste thousands on real. After getting effusive compliments from a friend who probably had the real thing I felt like a fraud. I didn’t say anything but felt weirded out. I felt like she was excited about the cost of them vs just owning them. A pair like I got can easily go up to 30k in real. Mine were around 5k. I do have some real very expensive jewelry so people may assume I have the real deal.

amother

↑ Skyblue

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:13 am

The fancy bugaboo used to be the luxury item after the baby. Today the Bugaboo and the doona are just expected, the eternity band is the new item that 'got me through pregnancy'.
I guess this is to be expected when becoming kollel inspired in the first place costs 30K in Israel...

amother

Pansy

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:14 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

Then I’ll automatically assume it’s lab grown if I see you in it if it’s a Diamond piece of jewelry Smile

99% of people walking around in 3 carat Diamond studs and giant Diamond engement rings and eternity bands and tennis bracelets these days are wearing lab grown.

In my family they wear only real diamonds but age appropriate or occasion appropriate - ie not 100k in jewelry to the grocery store or at age 30.

You’re making big assumptions . I married older my husband is successful and was older too with significant savings and was able to purchase a nice size diamond .

You
Know what happens when you assume …

amother

Freesia

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:24 am

Anyone on here like me and just doesn’t value jewelery? I can’t comprehend wanting an eternity band enough to drop thousands on it. I’d be so disappointed if my husband bought me one, what a waste of funds.

↑ BaltoMom65 ↓

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:24 am

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

Sorry 2k is a very expensive baby gift, and yes if you’re in kollel live a kollel lifestyle. My husband was working I got a $250 silver candlestick to match my candlestick for the new baby.
I’m sorry and then 3 years later they want a tuition reduction because they’re in kollel and they get food distributions before Yom Tov while the working poor middle class who pay for their food (no food stamps) pay for insurance (no Medicaid) have to pay full tuition.

PREACH

↑ BaltoMom65

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:27 am

amother Freesia wrote:

same, I'm now googling "eternity band". But if someone can afford it and wants it- good for them!

amother

↑ Hawthorn

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:28 am

amother Freesia wrote:

I said above I’ve married for over 25 years and only have my interview morning for a real piece of jewelry. Literally have not one other piece. So now I don’t feel like it’s a waste of so long to get one more piece of jewelry. I really like. Plus, we are very successful and can afford it quite easily. Which is why I never got it earlier because I never will waste money but not very much money. Probably what other people would spend on a cheap piece of jewelry.

amother

Ballota

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:35 am

amother DarkOrange wrote:

I recently bought a full lab grown eternity band. .37 pointers. I paid $1950. It's gorgeous! It's a masterpiece AND I didn't have to rob a bank for it. Go on Molly's jewelry site. They have 2 points smaller and 3 points bigger. Compare the price to what I paid.

Can I ask where you bought this??
I’m looking into this more and I got much higher pricing.

amother

Honey

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:37 am

amother Burntblack wrote:

U can quit your job, get benefits, and maybe afford a 2k ring.

No one usually does this though. Not sure why if it's such a great lifestyle

Not true. Kollel life is a luxury and usually they are being supported. The working families typically have no one to back them.
I was able to afford a lot more when dh was in kollel vs later years when we were supporting ourselves . Bh I got jewelry back than because I haven't gotten a new piece in years!

amother

NeonPurple ↓

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:49 am

amother Ballota wrote:

Can I ask where you bought this??
I’m looking into this more and I got much higher pricing.

I paid 5K for 40 pointers lab grown full eternity band...
but they are ovals so maybe that also upped the price....there is also different quality in lab as well (just as in mined....)

amother

↑ Tuberose ↓

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:58 am

amother Freesia wrote:

I don’t know, I appreciate nice jewelry and watches and sheitels (I am having a major issue finding a good sheitel now! I want a new one but not happy with anything on the market.)

I don’t like huge showy in your face pieces but I do like nice jewelry. Maybe that’s why I like real better- I’m not going to be wearing giant pieces so I may as well get real if it’s smaller.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 9:15 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

And may you enjoy passing it on to the next generation. Just please have a safe place to keep it. Wear it all in good health!