Tefillin - Bar mitzvah

justforfun87

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 12:16 pm

Yes, I just woke up. A bit sticker shock there. I am a big believer in buying what you can afford but is there a certain thing about "upgrading" for a mitzvah or just buy him the most basic?

amother

Amber

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 12:30 pm

Everyone buys what they can afford. I happen to have got him a little bit of a more upgraded pair. My sofer had three levels. I was going for the middle level one. Although I know plenty of people who bought the lower level. At the end of the day, I felt that if I can afford to upgrade it for him as hopefully this will be his pair for life I would. It was only $300 more for his highest level so I did that

amother

Hunter

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 12:32 pm

If there anything that you should spend more for then do it for his teffilin . It is something that he will wear every single weekday for the rest of his life. Cut down on everything else for his bar mitzvah and do it the most basic (even if you can afford more) but not teffilin!

Ruchel

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 12:37 pm

He'll wear it everyday bh. My fil zal helped a distant cousin get one, that's how important it is. But I don't think you have to buy platinum ones either. I'd go for the good ones. Also it depends on what you spend on the rest. If you are already not having a party et vs spending a lot on the rest.

amother

Peony

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 12:50 pm

How soon is the bar mitzvah? I reached out to the sofer about 6 months in advance so I could pay in installments rather than at once. I felt more comfortable this way and was able to buy a mid range pair.

amother

Daffodil

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 1:25 pm

We are simply people. Live mostly below our means. We buy mehudar tefillin. It is a mitza that iyh our children will have with them and use daily for the rest of their lives. They will stand proud knowing they have the best most mehudar tefillin.
--there is a difference when buying tefillin between paying market retail with Mark up verse as money going straight to the sofer for price of the quality of the yiras shamayim, klaff, batim, beautiful ksav etc

amother

Lavender

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 3:07 pm

I have a relative that is a sofer. They told me that some people look to save a buck and buy cheap tefillin from elsewhere. Then they come to him to check a few months later because somethings looks off. And he finds major issues and it ends up costing more. Or bidieved kosher. This is one mitzvah you should not skimp. You don't need to buy top of the line, but make sure the sofer is a yareh shamayim.

amother

Mayflower

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 3:14 pm

I really stretched myself to buy mehudar for my first few boys and regret it. One of them lost his first pair a few months after he started wearing them. I replaced them with tefilin half the price ($1k instead of $2k) and will likely only spend the lower amount for the rest of my boys.

amother

Lightyellow

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 3:32 pm

Off topic but everyone should buy an apple AirTag to put in tefillin bag. A friend of mine was able to recover her sons lost tefillin upstate an hour away from where they were.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 5:13 am

We are poor but spend on Tefillin.

First DS was $4k (two pairs, we are Chabad so need Rashi and Rabbeinu Tam)
Second DS was $5K
Next DS (just starting to pay for them, Bar Mitzvah is next year) is $6K

(all direct from the sofer)

I told DH we should have just bought multiple pairs when our first son became Bar Mitzvah...

We cheap out on the party and celebration (and even the bag, just get basic velvet) but I feel like good quality Tefillin are worth paying for. It's a mitzvah they will be doing every day with great spiritual power and that's a much better investment than the party.