I dont know how to raise kids with Hashem

amother

Yesterday at 9:40 pm

When I really don't understand or believe in Hashem myself. I keep the Torah. I listen to bitachon and read sefarim and try to grow. My basic basic belief was not there probably since around teenage years. I don't know why. Maybe because of my relationship with my father. I dont know. But anyway, I don't understand the whole concept of there being Hashem and in my very difficult personal life He doesn't seem to be present, which makes sense because it says He lets nature get control if you trust nature more. I don't want to be this way. Is there a way to understand or believe or do I just live this way.

PinkFridge ↓

Yesterday at 11:33 pm

Do you have kids now? You're not going to get to "being with Hashem" in 24 hours or less. So do you want some ideas while you yourself are exploring? Are you interested in exploring?
Here are some ideas: Imagine the G-d you wish you could connect to, and might have connected to had you not had the challenges you did. Who is the person who would make others say, wow, she's a G-dly person, G-dly in the sense of this hypothetical version? Probably someone kind, warm, upbeat, encouraging. Be an ambassador. Keep the details of the mitzvos carefully. If you have kids, you have a pass as far as spending quantity time in davening. (Not that you shouldn't daven something, but this could be where kids say, why doesn't Mommy daven? The answer is, you're busy so you can do a shorter version, and even if you're not so busy, we're all works in progress and this is something I'm considering upgrading.)

None of this is hypocritical. All of this gives your kids some direction. With you as their parent, they have a better chance of connecting to Hashem.

Was this helpful at all? Hope you sleep/are already sleeping well!

↑ PinkFridge

Yesterday at 11:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

Don't guilt yourself. Don't make assumptions that Hashem's letting nature get control. The fact that it matters to you, even if you're conflicted, is good. Hashem loves you, He knows every detail of your life, and more, He cares about every detail of your life. He does a have a plan and may you see enough glimpses that you will feel encouraged and cared for.

amother

Lemon

Today at 12:00 am

I’m having the exact same issue. I hardly ever talk about Hashem with my kids because I don’t feel anything and I feel like I’d sound so fake and they’d see right through it.
I’ve wanted to talk to a rabbi about it but I’m too shy/busy/don’t know how it will help anything.

giftedmom ↓

Today at 12:03 am

amother OP wrote:

You need trauma therapy not sefarim

↑ giftedmom

Today at 12:04 am

amother Lemon wrote:

You too. Loss of faith is a symptom of CPTSD.