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I just can’t understand it-and I can’t take it either!
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  imaima  




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 10:44 pm
amother Violet wrote:
OP hasn’t indicated that she’s looking to take on extra work. Nor should she. But if she’s serious about wanting to stop living paycheck to paycheck we are giving her easy suggestions. Cutting up one’s own fruit and making one’s own dips isn’t so time consuming or burdensome that they should be dismissed out of hand


One can also cut dips. One should analyze what really gets eaten and what is just there because traditional and makes the table lok fancy, but then ends in the garbage
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amother
  Violet


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 10:45 pm
imaima wrote:
One can also cut dips. One should analyze what really gets eaten and what is just there because traditional and makes the table lok fancy, but then ends in the garbage


For sure! We don’t eat dips at all but I know for some people it’s inexplicably critical to their shabbos meal
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amother
  DarkRed  


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 10:45 pm
amother Brickred wrote:
her time is better spent making 50K per month....
she and her husband are in a high income bracket!

Thank you for pointing this out! People here don't seem to value their time at all. I have the kind of job that the more hours I work, the more money I make. If I spend half hour making challah, for example, if you factor in how much my time is worth it comes out slightly more expensive than grocery challah. Same for making desserts or dips (some dips are super easy to make but some like matbuchah are more time consuming).
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amother
Chestnut


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 10:58 pm
I'm surprised nobody suggested this yet, but OP, why don't you consider not working?

After taxes, you're walking away with what, $50K a year? And $24K of that is going to cleaning help. I imagine there are a lot of other expenses of convenience that you absolutely need to spend because you are working.

If you stop working you can much easier cut down on the cleaning help (not cut out entirely), cut down on the food budget, probably have enough time and headspace to switch to Refuah Health Share or CHP for some of your kids.

You'll also be less stressed and probably a happier and better mother.

If you absolutely must work for your sanity, maybe switch to part time. You won't make as much money, but I don't see that your salary is actually helping you much with the bottom line.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 11:03 pm
Living smarter jewish.
Free financial coaching
Very empowering, they will only meet if both spouses are on board. Has been a game changer for us.
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amother
Dill  


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 11:03 pm
amother Violet wrote:
I literally can’t fathom how someone spends $200 on shabbos. Can you break it down for me?


I think when ppl say shabbos shopping they mean their weekly groceries. They just do it at the end of the week and call it their shabbos shopping (cuz some/ most of it they need in order to cook for shabbos), but it also includes for example snacks for school, rice cakes crackers, produce and dairy for the week… etc.

I personally usually do stock ups and when I shop for shabbos it’s just to fill in what’s missing in order to cook for shabbos. So if I’m out of gefilte fish since my last stock up, then that gets bought o Thursday (usually at a higher price than let’s say bingo where we normally buy it).

I also stock up on meat specifically for Cholent in a store that has better (in our opinion) meat for a better prices. It not near my house or in an area we frequent. Not terribly far that it’s an investment on gas type of thing. We buy 6-10 weeks worth usually. Some Flanken and some “shabbos meat” or beef chuck type. we portion some of each into bags and freeze it for the next bunch of weeks. I think it comes out to about $10 or less per week. And we have no issue using 2 bags worth if we’re having guests or whatever.

I’m sure op and others would say they don’t have time to price shop around, and I get it. It’s just an idea that it really could help.

And yes making your own dips it’s a million times cheaper. And cutting your own fruit. Shoprite has beautiful produce (obviously that’s only helpful if you live near one and have time to make an extra stop).
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amother
  Starflower  


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 11:20 pm
amother Ebony wrote:
Support is Maaser if the couple is in kollel


Even if that’s the case the total is still under 10%
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amother
Blue


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 11:26 pm
amother Starflower wrote:
Even if that’s the case the total is still under 10%


You do know that maaser is not mandatory, right? So if she's not making it, it's not helpful to ask her why she isn't giving even more to tzedakah than she currently is.
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amother
Poinsettia


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 11:54 pm
This is just depressing. I really feel for you
We live in a crazy world
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chestnut




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 11:54 pm
amother Violet wrote:
OP never broke down her grocery spending to us but another ima did.

Why are posters telling OP to stop buying cut up fruits and make her own dips if OP didn't say she buys them?
(Sorry, didn't read all 5 pages)
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amother
  Plum  


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 11:55 pm
amother Razzmatazz wrote:
Cleaning help is a luxury service. And why shouldn't they charge they need to support themselves too. I'm going to assume 45/hr is for a crew and not just one person.


It is a crew, but it’s $45/hr/person. So if 2 people come, it’s $90/hr.

I don’t recall saying they shouldn’t charge. The only thing I recall saying is that I’m more understanding than I used to be about why cleaning help could be as much $$$ as OP listed since others expressed disbelief.
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amother
Peachpuff  


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 11:56 pm
amother Poinsettia wrote:
This is just depressing. I really feel for you
We live in a crazy world


You can have less kids than she has, assuming you didn’t already have that amount of kids.
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amother
  Charcoal  


 

Post Sat, Sep 14 2024, 11:59 pm
amother Dill wrote:
I think when ppl say shabbos shopping they mean their weekly groceries. They just do it at the end of the week and call it their shabbos shopping (cuz some/ most of it they need in order to cook for shabbos), but it also includes for example snacks for school, rice cakes crackers, produce and dairy for the week… etc.

I personally usually do stock ups and when I shop for shabbos it’s just to fill in what’s missing in order to cook for shabbos. So if I’m out of gefilte fish since my last stock up, then that gets bought o Thursday (usually at a higher price than let’s say bingo where we normally buy it).

I also stock up on meat specifically for Cholent in a store that has better (in our opinion) meat for a better prices. It not near my house or in an area we frequent. Not terribly far that it’s an investment on gas type of thing. We buy 6-10 weeks worth usually. Some Flanken and some “shabbos meat” or beef chuck type. we portion some of each into bags and freeze it for the next bunch of weeks. I think it comes out to about $10 or less per week. And we have no issue using 2 bags worth if we’re having guests or whatever.

I’m sure op and others would say they don’t have time to price shop around, and I get it. It’s just an idea that it really could help.

And yes making your own dips it’s a million times cheaper. And cutting your own fruit. Shoprite has beautiful produce (obviously that’s only helpful if you live near one and have time to make an extra stop).

Right you’re correct that’s what mean , I’m definitely grabbing some snacks and a pack of chicken …. And then during the week I’ll do Aldi or Costco , but Thursday is my Jewish store day. Most of it is for shabbos but there can be $50 worth of things there that aren’t shabbos
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ittsamother  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2024, 12:13 am
amother Razzmatazz wrote:
Cleaning help is a luxury service. And why shouldn't they charge they need to support themselves too. I'm going to assume 45/hr is for a crew and not just one person.


Even if it's a luxury service, it's still nuts that they charge $45 an hour per cleaner. If you wanna look at it that way, getting your nails done is a luxury service too and I still don't think that the job calls for a $45-an-hour-salary. Guess what, going to a restaurant with table service is a luxury too, there's still no reason that waiters should be paid $45 an hour.

$45 an hour is just unreasonable for mopping, sweeping, washing dishes, folding laundry, and a couple bathrooms. That's just overpaid.
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amother
  Plum


 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2024, 12:18 am
ittsamother wrote:
Even if it's a luxury service, it's still nuts that they charge $45 an hour per cleaner. If you wanna look at it that way, getting your nails done is a luxury service too and I still don't think that the job calls for a $45-an-hour-salary. Guess what, going to a restaurant with table service is a luxury too, there's still no reason that waiters should be paid $45 an hour.

$45 an hour is just unreasonable for mopping, sweeping, washing dishes, folding laundry, and a couple bathrooms. That's just overpaid.


Hahaha, halevai they would do all that. They’d never wash dishes or fold laundry. They say they’re not a maid service but a cleaning service. (Happens to be I never want other people to do my dishes and laundry anyway but just sharing the mentality.) They would charge extra for those jobs.
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amother
Lime  


 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2024, 12:19 am
amother OP wrote:
5500 mortgage
5100 tuition
3700 health insurance
3500 groceries and household (detergent etc)
1000 cars
2000 support
2000 household help (if I don’t have help I can’t work)
1000 bills
2000 heloc
500 credit cards
800 tzedaka
@100-150 personal care (barber)

No retirement savings right now


Thats a total of $327,600.

Is your husband paying 200k in taxes?
If the 525k is a salary then its possible and the whole cheshbon makes sense.
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amother
  Starflower


 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2024, 12:21 am
amother Lime wrote:
Thats a total of $327,600.

Is your husband paying 200k in taxes?
If the 525k is a salary then its possible and the whole cheshbon makes sense.


She’s also earning 80-100k on top of that. It’s not really adding up
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  tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2024, 12:22 am
ittsamother wrote:
Even if it's a luxury service, it's still nuts that they charge $45 an hour per cleaner. If you wanna look at it that way, getting your nails done is a luxury service too and I still don't think that the job calls for a $45-an-hour-salary. Guess what, going to a restaurant with table service is a luxury too, there's still no reason that waiters should be paid $45 an hour.

$45 an hour is just unreasonable for mopping, sweeping, washing dishes, folding laundry, and a couple bathrooms. That's just overpaid.


They can charge whatever people will pay. That’s how it works. Would you charge less if people would be willing to pay you more? It’s clearly not something many people want to do or the price would go down.
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amother
  Lime  


 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2024, 12:30 am
amother Starflower wrote:
She’s also earning 80-100k on top of that. It’s not really adding up


But she's paying at least 15k in taxes for herself.

It is actually adding up.
The only way it doesn't make sense is if her husband is on a c-corp in which case she needs a much better accountant.

If he's on a salary making 525k then he's actually only bringing home around 330k per year after taxes.
Crazy!

That's the poor middle class.
You work and pay taxes so the government can send money to Iran.

The millionaires get away with taxes and they defect to China and Russia but they have enough money to hire lawyers to defend them. Wink
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  ittsamother  




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 15 2024, 12:36 am
tichellady wrote:
They can charge whatever people will pay. That’s how it works. Would you charge less if people would be willing to pay you more? It’s clearly not something many people want to do or the price would go down.


It clearly is because around here it's $15 an hour! And if it became $45 an hour my house would go messy and I wouldn't have a cleaning lady, because $45 an hour is just insane. (And they don't even wash dishes or fold laundry for that price, what in the world are they even doing?? Sweeping, mopping, and dusting?? A 10 year old can do that easily.)
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