PSA: Tuition before all the tzedaka causes please!!

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 10:17 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

So I think the other poster said those causes she mentioned should come first. And you agree while saying that bo, tuition should come first. You can't have it both ways.

Your own housing, medical expenses and of course groceries come first yes!!
Talking about any Extra tzedaka money

But when there are those collecting for other causes

Leaving scholarships funding is completely run dry ask the local rabbanim and business offices
they don’t have the ability to offer breaks to hardworking needy middle class families anymore!!!

↑ Molly Weasley ↓

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 10:24 am

Aurora wrote:

Why especially for boys?

Because that was the original tkanah by chazal, to create, maintain and fund community schools for boys.

Now that women also learn Torah, they're also included in this. I assume.

amother

↑ Caramel

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 10:24 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

So I think the other poster said those causes she mentioned should come first. And you agree while saying that bo, tuition should come first. You can't have it both ways.

I agree tuition comes first, I don’t agree that in general schools are the most important place to give tzedaka too

amother

Foxglove

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 10:33 am

People don't like to donate to schools who keep their books closed and don't show where the money goes. Many schools raise millions during the year and still cry poverty and still don't like to give the parents tuition breaks. When schools are more transparent about their spending, people may be more willing to donate more.

amother

↑ Burlywood

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 10:59 am

Molly Weasley wrote:

I'm referring to the institutions themselves. It's hard to expect the school to appear run-down according to community standards.

I don't understand this point.
People who accept tzeddkah need to show their books and not spend in a frivolous manner.

Schools and other organizations who want to accept tzeddakah should be the same way.
There is a huge difference between "broken down" and "using an interior designer and updating every 2 years".

Do they need to have fancy chandeliers in lobbies? Fancy offices for administrators?

Again-- open the books, show you are not wasting money, and are using tzeddakah money wisely.

chanatron1000

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 11:13 am

Molly Weasley wrote:

Its hard to expect our local institutions to be the ones to defy convention.
When the general population cuts back on their lifestyle spending, we can definitely force the institutions to do the same.

On the contrary, the institutions should be the ones to change the convention, as they by definition have more power to do so.

tweety1

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 11:48 am

amother Foxglove wrote:

Oh boy. You couldn't have said it any better.

amother

Vanilla

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 12:12 pm

My sister was told that she can use her meiser for tuition.

Right now we are able to afford tuition for our 2 kids, but imyh when our family expands idk how we'll afford it, and we'll probably ask a shayla about using our meiser towards tuition.

It's very hard, and I wish there were easy answers here!

↑ notshanarishona ↓

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 3:11 pm

Molly Weasley wrote:

Unless it's something as basic as tomcahi shabbos or a mikvah, nothing else really comes close.

Not true- just from personal experience
Bikkur Cholim: provided meals and rides during the months we were in the hospital for no charge. Also have hospital lounges which make a huge difference when you are stuck in hospital and need food/ shabbos items/ etc
Chesed Center : provides free kosher food and some clothes
Organization that sent respite care for my son while he was going through a lot of medical stuff
Local shul
Tuition is not the only important thing in life. Some other organizations make a huge difference in quality of life.
Hatzalah opening- in a city where sometimes takes 20+ minutes for an ambulance to arrive
Medical referral organizations- have made a difference of life and death getting into the right specialists
Matan Besayser- makes people be able to get affordable yom tov food and sends people tzedkah $ when they get donations

↑ Molly Weasley ↓

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 3:19 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

Let's view the hierarchy of importance from a halachic standpoint. While there are other very important causes, Yeshiva is very high on the list, if not on top.
www.5tjt.com/halachic-musings-.....cause

↑ notshanarishona ↓

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 3:22 pm

Molly Weasley wrote:

We have asked a Shayla and been told it’s more than ok and praiseworthy to give back to organizations that have helped us

amother

Arcticblue

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 3:26 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

We have asked a Shayla and been told it’s more than ok and praiseworthy to give back to organizations that have helped us

Can you clarify if the Shayla was asked in context of prioritization, or just a general question about ma'aser?

↑ notshanarishona

Sat, Sep 14 2024, 5:41 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Can you clarify if the Shayla was asked in context of prioritization, or just a general question about ma'aser?

We asked if donating to our kids school needs to be our first priority for the limited tzedaka that we gave or if it would be ok to give back to organizations that have helped us through difficult times and were continuing to offer help and we were told in our case preferable to show hakaras hatov and donate to the places that were helping us and that was definitely a valid reason to prioritize tzedakah there

amother

Brunette

Sat, Sep 14 2024, 6:53 pm

I don’t think this is straight forward. Everyone should ask their own shailos about where to give maaser. This past year we prioritised a sibling wedding over our schools (we did give to the schools but not nearly as much as to the wedding). We gave a nice donation to Bonei Olam, who is responsible for a bunch of my relatives even existing. Every family’s situation is unique and I don’t think there is a blanket answer that everyone must give their masser to community schools. Also- all of it? If I have $10,000 to give , it should all go to a local school? Which one- my sons, my daughters, or a struggling school I have no connection to? These things aren’t simple

↑ Molly Weasley

Sat, Sep 14 2024, 10:31 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

We have asked a Shayla and been told it’s more than ok and praiseworthy to give back to organizations that have helped us

That's an interesting question. How does hakaras htov play into the equation?

Assuming, however, all is equal in terms of hakoras hatov, what's the hierarchy rule?

amother

Cornsilk

Sat, Sep 14 2024, 11:36 pm

Molly Weasley wrote:

Unless it's something as basic as tomcahi shabbos or a mikvah, nothing else really comes close.

Really?

Which of these would you cut out?

Chai Lifeline/RCCS etc offering sanity-saving help for families struggling with life-threatening illness?

Hatzalah literally saving lives?

Chazkeinu or the many similar organizations supporting people struggling with mental illness?

Bikur Cholim and Refuah helping people navigate the medical world, find the best doctors, get second opinions at no cost and within days, and filling kosher pantries at hospitals all over so that frum Jews aren't stuck without food?

Bonei Olam helping those dreaming of having a child?

Links helping to support kids who've gone through the unfathomable pain of losing a parent?

Samcheinu, supporting widows?

Kesher Nafshi, supporting families dealing with the nightmare of a child who is no longer frum?

This is just a drop in the bucket, but there are so, so many wonderful and truly vital organizations that help our communities through any kind of struggle. And yes, these ALL come close to or before tuition.

amother

Papaya

Sat, Sep 14 2024, 11:44 pm

I voted school scholarship fund but it’s really more than that. My husband donates to yeshivas trying to pay their rebbis on time so they can make shabbos and yt and buy clothing and whatever else they need. So while it’s nice to support ts or clothing gemach we feel like it’s best to make sure our rebbis don’t get to the point that they need to ask. Yes I know many middle class people are struggling but we can’t save the world.

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 1:40 am

amother Cornsilk wrote:

These may be all very wonderful organizations that really help the klal in different ways but that doesn't mean halacha says one should donate there before one's schools.
And if someone is getting a tuition break, it really should be a shaila if that changes the distribution of their tzedaka money.