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-> Fashion and Beauty
amother
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 Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:55 am
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Growing up my mother always put us down for if we wanted something nice, I always had to beg for clothing that looked good on me and I ususally never got it. she would sometimes buy me nice shabbos dressed, but I never had things for the weekday that looked normal. now that im married and have kids I feel like my gashmius desire is unleashed and im obsessed with clothing and looking good. help it just all of a sudden started and I cant stop looking at clothing websites and talking about clothing with my friends and what clothing theyre buying for this season for their kids. I cant I feel so gashmiyusdik. I need someone to make me feel better about this.
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amother
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Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:57 am
It's a very normal reaction to the neglect you felt hen you were growing up, you want to make sure your kids don't ever feel the same way.
Therapy might be a good idea.
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amother
Hunter
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Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:58 am
Same but for me- my mom did buy me nice clothes but very little. I got sent to camp with 2 skirts. I remember one year that one skirt ripped and I only had one skirt for that summer in camp.
My kids bring 20 Tiros to camp. The girls have enough clothes so that I don’t have to do laundry for a week and a half.
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amother
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Thu, Sep 12 2024, 12:03 pm
| amother Melon wrote: | It's a very normal reaction to the neglect you felt hen you were growing up, you want to make sure your kids don't ever feel the same way.
Therapy might be a good idea. |
Wow thats so validating thats exactly it!
Putting therapy aside, just trying to figure out is it a bad thing to buy my kids a lot of nice clothing? meaning is it feeding into something bad? or should I just accept it and appreciate that my kids have this and they can look presentable?
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amother
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Thu, Sep 12 2024, 12:04 pm
| amother Hunter wrote: | Same but for me- my mom did buy me nice clothes but very little. I got sent to camp with 2 skirts. I remember one year that one skirt ripped and I only had one skirt for that summer in camp.
My kids bring 20 Tiros to camp. The girls have enough clothes so that I don’t have to do laundry for a week and a half. |
thats really traumatic. Im sorry. and good im happy for your kids
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amother
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Thu, Sep 12 2024, 12:07 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Wow thats so validating thats exactly it!
Putting therapy aside, just trying to figure out is it a bad thing to buy my kids a lot of nice clothing? meaning is it feeding into something bad? or should I just accept it and appreciate that my kids have this and they can look presentable? |
As long as you're buying according to your means and not going into debt, I can't see what's wrong with having nice cloths.
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amother
Stonewash
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Thu, Sep 12 2024, 12:18 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Wow thats so validating thats exactly it!
Putting therapy aside, just trying to figure out is it a bad thing to buy my kids a lot of nice clothing? meaning is it feeding into something bad? or should I just accept it and appreciate that my kids have this and they can look presentable? | I would try not to go overboard. A normal amount that regular people buy.
It's important not to parent from a place of trauma.
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