How weird would this be?

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 11:33 am

Thanks for all the replies!

Just to clarify a few things:

This is in an extremely residential area, so unlikely passerbys are unlikely.

There are only two kids at the bus stop, mine and a 9 year old who comes from the opposite direction and whom I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my child with.

amother

Hosta

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 11:37 am

amother OP wrote:

I think the best would be for you to take along a lightweight folding chair.
It is a big ask to ask of strangers.

amother

Ivory

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 11:39 am

If only two kids, I would definitely drive or bring a chair. In the winter or on a very hot day or if it's raining, driving would be a no-brainer.

amother

Lightgreen

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 11:44 am

I wouldn't go about it that way.

First I see no reason not to drive to the bus stop, its not ridiculous at all, its a perfectly fine solution

Second you can talk to all the people on the block that you know and somebody has to know somebody who knows the people who live there, and its more mentschlich to contact them directly and not through a note

Third, which way does the bus drive? Is it past your house at all? When I had recovery from certain things my bus driver at the time was helpful.

ittsamother ↓

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 11:54 am

If I received such a letter I would most likely happily say sure, with the condition that if for whatever reason it's not working out (ie many other people are sitting there and it's bothering me) you will take the bench back. Being that you said it's very residential, I doubt that will be an issue anyway. And I would feel genuinely good I was able to so easily make your life better in this tangible way.

To me at least, worst case they throw out your letter. Best case they're happy to do a chessed for a neighbor.

watergirl ↓

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 11:54 am

amother OP wrote:

Please don't put them in the position to have to say yes or no, it's uncomfortable. And then they have to be in charge of the bench. And when it's all gross from rain and snow (if there is snow by you) and bird poop? Wet, fallen leaves on it? No. Cats sitting on it?

OP, drive to the bus stop. It's your best option.

amother

Sapphire ↓

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 11:56 am

I would drive or get a walker

Asking a total stranger to put a fixture on their property so you can sit there every day is extremely inappropriate IMO, and if I got that letter I would be offended and weirded out. And it would probably create shalom bayis issues as I would not want to but DH would

amother

↑ Sapphire

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 11:57 am

watergirl wrote:

As well as the other kid/parent at the bus stop who will be sitting on it, causing more foot traffic to this persons lawn

↑ watergirl

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 12:07 pm

amother Sapphire wrote:

As well as the other kid/parent at the bus stop who will be sitting on it, causing more foot traffic to this persons lawn

And if a bus stop mom is pregnant? Or one of the parents has an injury? Or other kids want to sit also and then OP would have to tell them to get up? How big will this bench be?

singleagain

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 12:24 pm

Fishboy Upgraded Collapsible Stool for Adults,Portable Retractable Folding Telescoping Foldable Camping Stool Holds 400lbs for Outdoor Fishing Hiking Gardening Travel BBQ https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CN.....ss_tl

Very popular 2.5 lb collapsible stool. Holds 400 lbs. Comes in many colors

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1.6 lb collapsible chair. Holds 400 lbs

And so many more options on Amazon... I would search there. And read reviews see if anything there works

amother

Freesia

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 12:32 pm

A bunch of my neighbors wait for the bus in their car.
In bad weather especially this makes sense, driving doesn’t look strange.
Feel good!

amother

Seashell

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 12:42 pm

Drive. Nothing wrong with you driving. I have driven many times because it’s faster. (Or I didn’t want to wear a bra.)

While there are those with the opinion that one can always ask, I do think it is kind of chutzpah, and I would be upset at the ask.
It will be open for everyone and an “attractive nuisance”. If someone falls or the bench breaks, she could be legally responsible. Anyone who gets to the stop before you might take the seat and it will have little kids climbing on it-It won’t guarantee you a place to sit.
People might sit there at night (or all day) to smoke -and it much become a dropping grown for cigarettes and other litter, furthermore other kids might use it to kiss.
No way would I want it on my lawn.

amother

Chicory

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 6:39 pm

I also have pain with walking and standing for long periods. However, I noticed that when I pushed a baby carriage, it was much better. Would that or a shopping cart help you to achieve better stability? Either that or just drive and don't worry about what anyone thinks.

Raizle

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 7:12 pm

Even if they did put a bench there, it might be occupied by the time you get there. I agree with the suggestions to drive and have a folding chair with you

↑ ittsamother

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 7:55 pm

I live in a very residential area too. Maybe 10 people walk past my house all day. There is only one other child at my child's bus stop. If I had a bench, I'd have zero of these concerns everyone is listing. We just don't have enough foot traffic for any of this to happen.

amother

Arcticblue

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 8:14 pm

OP wishing you good health and comfort !
I have to go with the driving and/or folding chair idea. I live on a corner , many buses stop in front of my house. For years I had a bench there - that I bought and placed there for other people to sit on (not me, I watched my kids get on the bus from my front porch). I put the bench there on my own. If someone would have asked me I would have felt annoyed and put in a tough spot. Many of the moms in my neighborhood drive the busstop- even one house away! That way the kids and the mom can have a place to sit and stay warm. Post scrip to my bench : One day someone stole the bench. And I live in a “good neighborhood “. I was weirded out that someone came on my property to steal , just because they saw something on my property drew their attention as they drove /walked by. I have no idea if they scoped it out before and planned it or just happened to walk by. I felt very violated.
Feel good. And please drive.

amother

Azalea

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 9:03 pm

Sorry you are in pain but do not ask them.

They are probably already annoyed about having a bus stop in front of their house. They don't know you and may not want people hanging around, foot traffic, noise, trash... if someone walking by (or either of the carpool families) was on the phone - why wouldn't they just sit and schmooze a little longer? Sit and talk to the other mom? Think also dog walkers, kids on the block wanting a snack...

It would be a liability and a hassle for them.

If they were good friends of yours maybe I would have a face to face conversation asking for this. But even then a letter would just be weird.

Get lightweight stool or a walker with a seat for yourself.

salt

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 2:34 am

tichellady wrote:

Who is to say the bench would be reserved for you? Someone else might sit on it. I don’t think this is worth asking to someone you don’t know at all

Exactly. If there is a bench there, whoever gets there before you would just sit down instead of you.
Best to bring your own folding chair.