Dd12 is refusing to buy new uniforms

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 7:46 pm

amother Cerulean wrote:

Who cares what the neighbors think about you?

I care. I want my child to look neat and put together. For myself, and for others. She struggles enough as it is, she doesn't need to look "off" on top of everything. Is that so bad?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 7:47 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Put in an adjustable elastic at the dressmaker. Keep it in the closet. Maybe sukkos time she'll change her mind.

I'll do that. Thanks.

amother

↑ Cerulean

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 7:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

I care. I want my child to look neat and put together. For myself, and for others. She struggles enough as it is, she doesn't need to look "off" on top of everything. Is that so bad?

It’s causing a strain in your relationship, so yes. Let it go.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 7:57 pm

amother Cerulean wrote:

It’s causing a strain in your relationship, so yes. Let it go.

Projection much?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 8:12 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

Is it possible this skirt can somehow not make it out of the wash right away?

That's an idea. She has 2 and wears each one a few times before they get washed so I'd has to work it out well. She's also the type to go looking for it in the hamper ... but once I think I'll take the new one to put in an elastic like ra mom suggested and then I'll somehow make the old ones disappear.

amother

Lime

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 8:17 pm

I’d adjust the new skirt more so it’s less big. And I’d make this skirt disappear. Or you can cut it and say it got ripped in the washing machine or something. She’ll have to move past this. I have a chunky kid too and she loves her outgrown clothing. But I can’t in good conscience let her walk around like that at this age, girls this age can see that she looks bad and they don’t always deal well with it. She might not understand that yet but I’m still going to do what’s best for her. I make things disappear. And once it’s gone she gets used to the new things and moves on.

amother

Kiwi

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 8:26 pm

Moving in the button is not good
Maybe it makes the waist not sag but it does not take away the extra fabric.
Extra fabric adds bulk that she does not need.
Mom did it all the time and it never looked right and I wasn’t plus sized
When I was in high school and she bought me the bigger size I took it myself to the cleaners seamstress and they took it in properly and the look was soooo much better. I actually had classmates ask if I lost weight over the summer.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 8:29 pm

amother Kiwi wrote:

The extra fabric is only at the waist, everywhere else she needs the width. But it may be possible to take it in a bit more professionally. I'll definitely take it to a seamstress and see what they say

amother

↑ Zinnia

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 8:37 pm

Also, is there anywhere you can find the same patterned uniform without the pleats sewn down at the top?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 8:40 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

Also, is there anywhere you can find the same patterned uniform without the pleats sewn down at the top?

I wish but I don't think any other company makes this plaid.

I offered to get her custom skirts but she said everyone could tell they look different and she didn't want.

amother

Green

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 8:42 pm

Side point, why are uniforms so unflattering? I feel so bad for anyone who’s not super thin. I wish schools would actually take that into account.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 8:47 pm

amother Green wrote:

Side point, why are uniforms so unflattering? I feel so bad for anyone who’s not super thin. I wish schools would actually take that into account.

I know!!

amother

Whitewash

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 8:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

I know!!

Funny I think my plus sized hi schooler really rocked the uniform with the sewn down pleats.

I guess it depends on the figure,

amother

↑ Amber

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 9:29 pm

I actually gave away my daughter’s old uniforms over the summer. I got her new ones and put in darts at the waist and had it hemmed. She has the space she needs at the hips but it’s ok everywhere else… not flattering but neat. she would’ve worn her old uniforms but they’re gone…

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:07 pm

amother Amber wrote:

This is what I should have done. But I was hoping against hope they would still fit her this year. There was room at the end of last year. And the length would be fine if she didn't need to wear it so high up. Oh well. I need to start getting much, much smarter.

amother

Wandflower

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:14 pm

amother Green wrote:

Side point, why are uniforms so unflattering? I feel so bad for anyone who’s not super thin. I wish schools would actually take that into account.

Came here to post this. Whyyyy? Uniforms don’t MUST be ugly! I suffered so much as a plus sized kid with a super unflattering uniform.
Funnily enough, I now have the opposite problem with my kid… she’s so skinny and the uniform elastic is pulled to the tightest making it all bunched in the back… she wears a sweater cuz she doesn’t like that everything is hanging on her…

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 12:16 pm

Update.

We took them to a seamstress who put in darts. They fit her beautifully now. She wore it once and has been refusing to wear them since.

I gave it a rest over yt, hoping she'd want something fresh for the new start.

She's still refusing.

I can't disappear them now, she'll catch on and never trust me again.

Can I bribe her with something I know she can't resist? Nah, it'll just make her feel manipulated and angry.

Do I just give in and buy her the same size in a longer length so at least length wise it'll look functional? She always wears sweaters anyways so the top is mostly covered.

Any other great ideas?

↑ ra_mom

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 12:19 pm

Don't give in to buy more small ones. She can wear what she has and if she wants to wear the small ones she can. If there's only one small one and it's dirty she can decide in the morning what she wants to do about that.
If she's walking around with clothes that don't fit her that's her perogative but you don't have to buy more clothes that look outgrown.
Just make sure to stay detached and nonchalant about it. Do not allow it to become a power struggle.
Hugs, hugs, hugs!

amother

Olive

Tue, Oct 29 2024, 12:23 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

Also, is there anywhere you can find the same patterned uniform without the pleats sewn down at the top?

Pleats not sewn down usually look a lot worse cuz you see that they are all popping open.
Years ago when I was in school my mother got a piece of fabric had it pleated and stitched down to make it look better on me than the not stitched down ones that looked awful on me