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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
OP
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:10 am
I bought a food item that doesn’t have a hechsher and I want to give it to our upstairs neighbors who are not Jewish.
I could leave it by her door, what do I say on the note? I don’t want to mention kosher , wouldn’t want her to feel less than or anything
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imanotmommy
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:12 am
I've never found anyone offended when I say "I can't eat it because it's not kosher," and offer it to them
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amother
NeonPink
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:14 am
I don't know where you live, but in my area - tri-state - non news are very familiar with kosher and won't be "insulted/or something" if you give them food and say I accidentally bought and it's not kosher, do you want it?
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shabbatiscoming
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:15 am
amother OP wrote: | I bought a food item that doesn’t have a hechsher and I want to give it to our upstairs neighbors who are not Jewish.
I could leave it by her door, what do I say on the note? I don’t want to mention kosher , wouldn’t want her to feel less than or anything | Why do you think anyone would feel "less than" if you offered them something you couldnt eat?
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Molly Weasley
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:33 am
shabbatiscoming wrote: | Why do you think anyone would feel "less than" if you offered them something you couldnt eat? |
I sort of get it, because you're only giving it to them because you can't eat it, not because you're being neighborly, etc.
OP,
Do you have a maid/cleaning lady? I often give mine extra food, it can be an easier transaction.
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shabbatiscoming
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:35 am
Molly Weasley wrote: | I sort of get it, because you're only giving it to them because you can't eat it, not because you're being neighborly, etc.
OP,
Do you have a maid/cleaning lady? I often give mine extra food, it can be an easier transaction. | I mean someone could have anything they bought by mistake or was given to them that they for any number of reasons couldnt eat. Its literally being neighborly by asking them if they want it.
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mandr
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:37 am
If someone gave you a cookie and said "here, I don't eat gluten and this cookie has gluten" would you feel offended? I wouldn't!
In my experience, anyone would take my nonkosher stuff.
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sweetpotato
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:39 am
Can you just say “I bought the wrong version/wrong brand and can’t use it”?
I also wouldn’t necessarily assume someone wants it. Much better to just ask “do you eat xyz? I bought this by mistake and don’t need it—do you want it?”
Kosher is really irrelevant.
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amother
Gold
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:39 am
Molly Weasley wrote: | I sort of get it, because you're only giving it to them because you can't eat it, not because you're being neighborly, etc.
OP,
Do you have a maid/cleaning lady? I often give mine extra food, it can be an easier transaction. |
If my non-Jewish neighbor started randomly giving me food she bought specifically for me, I’d think she had weird intentions or thought I was incapable of shopping for myself. I’d be a little offended
If she gave me something because she realized she was allergic and couldn’t eat it, I would think it was nice she thought of us instead of trashing it or giving to someone else (ie “being neighborly”)
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amother
Jetblack
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:39 am
I’ve given non kosher food that was delivered with Instacart to my housekeeper multiple times. She’s always thrilled to take it
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amother
Babypink
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:41 am
I once left my neighbor a nice fresh bag of bagels that a family member accidentally bought from a place that lost hashgacha . They never said anything and I still wonder if I did the right thing. Now, I just offer to my cleaning person. She is always happy to receive and I only give her fresh, unopened items.
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amother
Whitesmoke
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Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:56 am
My neighbors are so happy when I give them things I can’t eat. They don’t feel any negativity they understand I need a kosher sign and that’s why I give it away.
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