How often do you expect your married grandchildren to call?

oohlala

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 7:01 am

My married nieces call my parents on Fridays. I think it’s really sweet. Unfortunately I didn’t have much of a relationship with my grandparents and I feel bad that I didn’t do it. I see how happy it makes my parents.

ChalieB

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 7:20 am

I try to video call each of my grandmothers once a week, especially so they can have virtual visits with my daughter. They live in America and we live in Israel, so I only get to see them in person once every couple of years.

amother

Daphne

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 7:45 am

I think it makes a difference if the grandparents have a relationship with the grandkids. My in laws and my mom show absolutely no interest in my kids, even when they were growing up, and my kids feel that. So no, my married kids don't end up calling them.

amother

Strawberry

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 9:24 am

amother Sunflower wrote:

My grandparents have little patience for meaningless chit chat.

This is a tough one.

When my grandparents were still alive and I lived overseas I called them every single week at a dedicated time and we really shmoozed.

I made sure to get up really early in the morning so that I would have time for a long chat. In fact, after they passed - quite close together - it took me a while to get out of this weekly habit. I would pick up the phone and remember that there was noone to call.

This is why my children's stilted communication with my own parents pains me. They do call, but not that regularly, to the point that sometimes my mom complains about it.

However my kids maintain that my mom is hard to get hold of, is often impatient and keen to get off the phone and is often unresponsive to the messages and pics they send which makes it hard for them to be consistent.

Since my mom is sometimes like this with me - and my dad even more so- I do understand my kids. I tell them that the onus is on them to make the effort as part of honouring their elders but I do think that it is difficult to maintain largely one sided relationships.

My parents are getting older and I'm just a bit sad about the situation.

amother

NeonYellow

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 10:19 am

amother Gray wrote:

I'm posting as a grandmother and a granddaughter:

-My grandkids are still young (oldest 8), they don't officially call me but do call to speak with their aunts and uncles so I sometimes speak them.

-I call my grandmother every few weeks just to say hello and chat, but we'll often call in between when there's a simcah, birth of a great-great-grandchild etc.

-My married kids who live overseas call my Mom every Friday, the local ones pop in.

Wow! KAH. By the time my great grandmother had great great grandchildren her hearing was too poor to talk on the phone.

amother

Tomato

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 10:24 am

I used to speak to my maternal grandmother a few times a week. I miss her so much.
My paternal grandparents are hard to reach by phone and hard of hearing too. They live a few hours away by car so we see them approximately twice a year. I’m sad about this and I wish there was a way to communicate more. They don’t use any modern technology like texting or computers.

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 11:35 am

My grandparents ah never managed the computer well enough to do video. And the kids lose patience... Of course I called and told them what we do. It's not easy have long meaningful convos on the phone as it's not spontaneous.